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After you found someone good online...


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I agree, wait until the relationship is exclusive. if you take it off too soon, it can scare the person off. how long have you two been dating? have either of you discussed exclusivity?

 

EDIT: however, if I do like someone, i do stop 'updating' my profile while seeing them. even if i don't take it down right away.

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I agree, wait until the relationship is exclusive. if you take it off too soon, it can scare the person off. how long have you two been dating? have either of you discussed exclusivity?

 

EDIT: however, if I do like someone, i do stop 'updating' my profile while seeing them. even if i don't take it down right away.

 

That's what I did also. Especially when you're paying for the service. I just stopped from receiving any matches from eHarmony...and cancelled it before it expired.

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We met on an online dating service....as far as I know we both deleted our profiles. We are gettin' married ! Funny thing is....we both live in Colorado now...and we both grew up in Minnesota...about 30 minutes away from each other ! Our first meeting was for coffee...and then turned into lunch. I think it was about a six hour date. The funny thing is, I almost did not meet him...I cancelled a few meetings...and then got lost finding the coffee shop that day..and he waited. I am glad he did ! Good luck to you !

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We did not meet on line but I had an active on line profile and he had an inactive one (had been inactive for 4 years). As soon as we became exclusive, which was soon after we met again (we had known each other years ago and reconnected) I hid my profile and cancelled my subscription. This meant that I could not check emails on the site but men who had saved me in their favorites could still view my profile (at least, I think they could, not sure). My boyfriend hid his profile a few months after that because, since he had been inactive for years, it really was irrelevant but it made sense for him to hide it just in case someone looked him up on line.

 

Most important is to have a talk about it so that both of you know exactly what is planned - will you delete your profile or just hide it, or not hide it but not be active/log on to the site? Will you delete your profiles on other sites, too?

 

Pre exclusivity it is not necessary to hide your profile but - if you are dating for a month or more and you update your profile be prepared for the other person to assume that you don't see much potential in the dating relationship. It is painful to see someone you have been dating for a month or more update his profile.

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I agree with most posters and when I met "the one" and after about 2 months I turned off my profile. Then it expired. The site still shows me as a member but I am unable to email or anything else which is fine with me. However, as most of you know, my bf of 7 months has not taken his down or turned it off. I often feel threatened and I talk to him about it. He says that his "friend" uses it. When I told him that his friends picture will actually be HIM he kind of brushed me off. This site is a bone of contention in our relationship until he turns it off. He says he is waiting for it to expire in April '07...Am I a total fool? G'head I can take it...I think.

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I agree with most posters and when I met "the one" and after about 2 months I turned off my profile. Then it expired. The site still shows me as a member but I am unable to email or anything else which is fine with me. However, as most of you know, my bf of 7 months has not taken his down or turned it off. I often feel threatened and I talk to him about it. He says that his "friend" uses it. When I told him that his friends picture will actually be HIM he kind of brushed me off. This site is a bone of contention in our relationship until he turns it off. He says he is waiting for it to expire in April '07...Am I a total fool? G'head I can take it...I think.

 

His actions are inconsistent with someone in a committed relationship, whether he is being honest about his friend or not. He is advertising with his picture that he is single and looking. My guess is that he is lying, since why would someone want to use someone else's profile with a different picture? And, I am sure any friend would understand why someone couldn't keep a profile going if he had a serious girlfriend. I don't like it.

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Thanks girls I am getting quite empowered with my lost self esteem since being on this site with the wonderful thoughts and musings of the posters. I really think he is terribly insecure, which does not excuse his behaviuor or make me feel sorry for him in any way, I almost think it is like a computer addiction to go back and look...I admit, I was doing it for awhile and then I just got bored...also the bf and I would get into huge arguments about it as it shows that you were "there" on the site on any given day....I am just going to continue living my life the way I like it. If he truly wants me and me alone then he will just have to show me by his actions, no more I love yous...Hey, isn't that a song!?!? Happy VD

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