Why get married?

[Mrsympathy]

I'm not trying to be a smarty or anything,but my question is why should people even get married?I read on here all the time that people act this way or that way and it's emotional abuse,I'm sure glad people don't throw around rape and other offenses like that.Maybe the person screaming foul should look at themselves and wonder what they might have done to make this person act this way,women are usually the ones that say this not trying to pick on anyone but it seems to be the norm.Maybe men arent very good at communicating and when someone has done things we may seem like we blow it off but in reality it gets bottled up and resentment starts to build up,I just think if people did try to communicate more and not hold everything in until you get so angry at each other you forget how small the problems really are they just seem big because there are so many over so much time.Now I'm not saying there is no such thing as emotional abuse because there is,but I personally think alot of what is said on these forums is just a lack of communication,so I also would like to know how a good marriage is supposed to be.Everyone can say get out or there is no future in your marriage on here,but I would like to know what you think is a good marriage.I may get bashed for this,I hope not but I am curious to know what people think,and I hope I haven't offended anyone.

[melrich]

I think you make some good points butI am not sure where the marriage part fits in. You can have communication issues and resentment building in any relationship, whether you are married or not.

[shes2smart]

Any relationship can only be as healthy as the least healthy partner.

 

All the more reason to work on yourself and your own mental blocks first before you go playing with others' mental blocks.

[Dako]

MS,

 

Your observations are valid for non-married couples as well.

 

It's easy to tell people in a bad marriage it's their fault for tying the knot, but those problems are usually unrelated to the marriage license.

[fnlyfrei]

Yes, and if you live with someone, many places consider it a common-law marriage anyhow....why not just have a fun wedding....its going to be legal one way or the other anyhow. The other alternative is to live separately....and I really want to wake up every morning with my honey!

[BeStrongBeHappy]

it is normal to have disagreements between partners, but what is not normal if abusing them, which could be defined as calling them names, calling them stupid, putting them down, in other words, attacking the person rather than discussion the problem, where rather than saying 'it makes me angry that you never pick up your socks' goes to 'you are a fat lazy b**tch and never do anything right..'

 

So the trick is to learn how to fight fair, which is fight about the real issue without harming the other person emotionally or physically...

 

so yes, it is about communication, but also about understanding and anger control and that it is not acceptable to rip up on your partner all the time just because something annoys you.