I kissed a girl in a bar when my bf was there

[surfergirl13]

So, my boyfriend of 6 years and I went to a bar and there was this girl (friend of friends) who was bisexual and was hitting on me the whole night. I thought it was funny at first and would never consider being with a girl. Anyway, I ended up getting really drunk and the girl was in my face trying to get me to kiss her. I rejected her many times but eventually, I just gave in and kissed her. The next morning I felt horribly embarrassed and I know I would have never done that had I not been completely drunk. Well, my boyfriend is also totally embarrassed and he is saying that I cheated on him. He believes that the only way to "get even" is if we go out together and he kisses a girl while I watch. I feel really bad for what I did, but is he right?

[rocio]

He is right that this is just the same as if you'd kissed a guy - it's a sort of cheating. But he's not right to say that the solution is for him to kiss someone else.

[TheRedQueen]

No, the only way he can "get even", is if you go out and he kisses a *guy* while you watch.

[lunatic]

he kisses a *guy* while you watch.

 

well if I was given that choice I think I would be happy with how things ended up. I think I might be sick from the image! Thanks TRQ for the visual! **mmmppphhhttt**

[jengh]

I agree, if he wants to "Get even", he should be allowed to kiss another GUY.

[luvursmile]

I agree...thats the only ways its fair! He just wants an excuse to kiss another girl, IMHO.

[hockeyboy]

i find it interesting how one's perspective can be so different then others.

 

when i was younger i dated a girl who was..well...adventerous. being a 19/20 year old guy, I actually encouraged this kind of behaviour

[TheRedQueen]

well if I was given that choice I think I would be happy with how things ended up. I think I might be sick from the image! Thanks TRQ for the visual! **mmmppphhhttt**

What can I say, fair is fair.

[flower99]

kissing someone else, guy or girl IS considered cheating. (at least in your bf eyes & mine bf eyes)

But to maintain the relationship & fix this in a healthy manner there should be NO "getting even"

Either he forgives you or he doesn't. But kissing someone else regardless of sex, will NOT better the situation.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Its not going to make the relationship any stronger if he kisses anyone.

 

Its a childish idea to think "you did this, so I need to get even", its not a matter to get even over. He either deals with the fact that you made a mistake and how he feels, but two wrongs don't make a right.

[NeverMore]

That is insane, he is taking it way too hard. My SO has seen me kiss other girls all in good fun and he could care less! It's not like there was any feeling behind it. It's not like it was behind his back, and you aren't gay or bi so what would it matter to him.

 

I do agree with the others. The only "even" way to go is for him to kiss a guy. And I would tell him that too. I would go as far as taking him to a gay bar, but that is just me, lol.

[EvaGina]

If he wants to "get even" hes an immature little moron.

TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE A RIGHT

 

You cheated, and thats not cool, but him going out and making things worse isnt going to fix anything.

[Iceman26]

Where was your boyfriend while this bisexual woman was hitting on you? I get the feeling he may have been setting you up for this.

[surfergirl13]

My boyfriend was right there the whole time....he said that I am responsible for myself and he was not going to tell me what to do. WHat do you mean?

[Iceman26]

he said that I am responsible for myself and he was not going to tell me what to do. WHat do you mean?

 

Do you think he would have acted the same way if it had been a guy, and not a girl hitting on you and kissing you?

[surfergirl13]

Do you think he would have acted the same way if it had been a guy, and not a girl hitting on you and kissing you?

 

Good point. I actually brought that up and he said he would have...I don't really buy it though.

[EvaGina]

Do you think he would have acted the same way if it had been a guy, and not a girl hitting on you and kissing you?

 

I dont know about that

if some guy was coming onto me then my bf wouldnt do anything about it unless I asked him too.

Its embarrassing sometimes to have a man puffing out his chest everywhere, I can handle myself

[Iceman26]

Good point. I actually brought that up and he said he would have...I don't really buy it though.

 

I don't buy it either. That is why I think he didn't interfere, so he could later use this situation against you, which he has, by saying that he should now have the right to "get even" by making out with another girl.

[Rabican]

Didnt your mom ever tell you that two wrongs dont make a right!

 

Tell him you are sorry, and leave it at that. Next time dont put yourself in that situation. walk away if presented with a similar situation. Him doing something to hurt you, will not undo your mistake. Nor will it fix anything. It will only add one more thing for you to fight about.

[treefrogkate]

i find it interesting how one's perspective can be so different then others.

 

when i was younger i dated a girl who was..well...adventerous. being a 19/20 year old guy, I actually encouraged this kind of behaviour

 

Haha! My boyfriend and I have an agreement that as long as he's there (and preferably watching I can do pretty much whatever I want with girls. I told him he can do the same with guys, but I don't think he's going to take me up on that.

 

And we're both later in our 20s, so...

[hockeyboy]

Maybe its just part of our Bostonian culture?

 

Haha! My boyfriend and I have an agreement that as long as he's there (and preferably watching I can do pretty much whatever I want with girls. I told him he can do the same with guys, but I don't think he's going to take me up on that.

 

And we're both later in our 20s, so...

[treefrogkate]

Hahahaha, must be!

[Sheeps]

I think there's an American thing going on here - I see absolutely nothing wrong with a girl kissing a girl - its expected in the pubs here ;-) how ridiculous that he should react - i love the idea of being "even" as kissing a bloke. Fab idea.

[yeawutever]

If he wants to get even then he would have to break up with you. Him kissing another guy or girl to get to make it equal isn't getting even, it's rather him having the mental capacity of a 10 year-old.

[i1dr]

TheRedQueen has it spot on! Tell your BF that you are ready for the punishement - that you will even let him choose the guy.

 

Btw ... imho ... kissing is not the same as cheating. It would be dangerously close if it were in private but in the circumstances you describe - sorry I think he needs to lighten up lest he demands to kiss his grandmother every time you kiss yours. There are more important things to get pissy over than a kiss in a party atmosphere. Let him kiss his guy and move on. Please don't kiss your grandmother anymore however.