shes the one- i really need some help

[vfunkera]

i really need some good help and advice because my life has sunk. last year october i met this girl thru her friend, and at the time i didnt really think anything of. she is a really attractive girl and stands out from her group of mates. i found out she really likes me on the same day but i didnt persue it. in february i was told that she is isnt interested in anyone else but me, despite us hardly ever speaking a word 2 each other and me not making any effort to impress or make an impression on her- and i aint exaxtly a heart-throb either. i saw that if someone as attractive as her has held on for me so long for a chance then she must b worth a try. after talkin to her i realised that she is actually very shy.

anyway we got together, and it wasnt really that serious for the first month. i found out i was her first bf and kiss- which shocked me bcs she is gorgeous. by 3 months i was completely in love with her and her personality. she gave all the signs that she truly loved me- she wud stay wid me wherever i went even wen her m8s were around, let me go off and play football wid my m8s, supported me wen i felt down and would listen to me for hours talk about rap music wen she didn't really like it. it was honestly the happiest i had ever been in my life, and i overheard her friends say she was in love with me.

4 months later- and one wk i was mentally drained after a school marathon, and didnt really feel i was makin her happy for the nxt few days we saw each other. I wasn't smiling as much or make much effort around her. she gav signs but i didnt really notice, but it all eventually came to the conclusion that 'she jus wants to b mates'. she bought me a card, a teddy, and even made a rap cd 4 me. she came down a 2 mile journey 2 tell me face 2 face. i took it with some tears- and she cried as well, before i accepted it. that was the only reason i got. i realised after the break up what i had lost, someone so rare as to be gorgeous, honest and such a WONDERFUL personality that i adored. both mine and her friends used to say we looked like we were made for each other- same height, hair colour, dress sense, similar personality. i still believe we are. a couple of days later i met her and told her that i wud DO ANYTHING that can b done to b wid her. she said she doesnt kno yet.

couple of days later she went on holiday for 2 wks. she txt me 2 minutes b4 gettin on da plane so that really made me happy. shes been back for a month now hardly even chats to me. We both usually go on msn every nite, but I was the one making all the effort. later that wk she went to a cinema that was 5 mins away from me wid some m8s that i kno as well, and didnt even tell me. i took some advise and decided to look happy, and hide my sadness, instead show her that i can survive. iv never seen her look happier in my life, but i have a feelin shes putting most of it on. i decided not to talk to her at all on friday nite (we usually go to the same place), and noticed that she was lookin over at me wen she cud- i could tell she was a bit sad inside and the eye contact definetly had the look of 'I really like you'.Then, after nights of ignoring each other, she started to talk to me on the net one nite, but i tried to act like i was over her and had better things to do, while she done most of the talking (which isn't really like her). but she nevers txts, e-mails or ask about me any more. Im so confused!

deep down i still believe we can get together bcs she is the one i hav asked god for and still love and miss her. should i hold on for her, or is she not really interested in me anymore? is she just shy? should i stop the mind games? so sorry for going on but i had to tell everything in order to get good experienced advice. really really apprecitate any help. thnks so so much.

[ansleynicole]

i am usually never good at giving advice but this sounds like sort of what I am going through. I say just to give it time and if it is meant to be then it will be. I have been told this same advice and even though I hate it I am following it. You don't want to pursue her too much cause that could turn her off. I was also told to act happy around my ex and it seemed to backfire in my face so now I just act like whatever. My ex seems like he is sad also a lot of times and I can't really tell what is going through his head about us but I am choosing to give him time to sort out his feelings and decided if I am what he wants even though I too feel like God sent him too me and that he is the one for me. Hang in there, something will happen and in my situation I pray every night that it does.....

[Princess777]

After I read this I realized it may have sounded like I condone playing games with people. This is not what I intended it to sound like. What I meant was that if you don't grow a thicker skin you will get hurt more, and it is a hard thing to do. I find it very difficult to be tough when I really want to tell someone how I feel, but sometimes you just can't or it will drive them away too soon. Sorry about the confusion. - P7

 

Unfortunately the single life is all a bunch of mind games and if you don't play the games, you'll get hurt. It's a sad truth that people have to play games to get with someone. This was a harsh reality for me too when I was single. I tried to be myself ALL the time (unfortunately backfired for me too because I was way too sensitive) but soon found out I had to be a lot tougher than I really was. The best advice I can give is, grow a thicker skin the best you can and don't give others the power to make your life miserable. Avoid her if seeing her makes you uncomfortable. If you want some type of closure with her, write her a letter if it's too difficult to tell her how you feel face to face. That should help you to "put the ball in her court". That way you can walk away knowing you did what you could and you won't feel guilty later on for not letting her know how you felt about her.

 

Princess777

[NeedClosure]

first of all let me tell u i have done the mind games thing before to get someone back and it usually drive them away more...second thing at this point you should confront her AND BE HONEST tell her everything and although this means putting ur heart on the line she may either except or reject u. DEPENDS ON WHAT PRICE ARE U WILLING TO PAY.

 

GOOD LUCK!