kermit Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I can you that you need to be careful. I'm in a similar situation now, and it's not good. Send me a PM if you want the gory details or advice, I don't want to post it all here, but I think I can offer you a lot of insight from someone in exactly the same boat.
darkpumpkin Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 I have a best friend who I love. I care more about then any man I will end up with. It's not a sexual thing but there will be no one in this world who could replace her. She just knows me completely. I think it's quite normal and yes your SO may be jealouse because they wish to have that bond and connection but it doesn't always happen that way.
chloe09 Posted February 12, 2007 Posted February 12, 2007 Hm, that is a difficult predicament. I do not think you should destory both of your families by seeing what would happen if you had ever persued her romantically. I think you have to accept that it never happened, and move on with your life. Talking to a therapist about these feelings might help.
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 13, 2007 Posted February 13, 2007 Life is not either/or, nor black/white... and you are proving that yourself, living in that gray area where you say you love your friend and you love your wife and.... it sounds to me like you are trying to rationalize backward... find an excuse to keep loving your friend, even though at this point she is not really in your life that much, other than a fantasy... your wife and home life is the reality, and sometimes that becomes, boring, routine, mundane, and a fantasy looks much better than that... i don't think you are being fair to your wife by carrying on an emotional affair with another woman while cloaking under the guise of being 'old friends'... you need to commit yourself, genuinely, to your wife and marriage, or decide that you don't have enough commitment to draw the line with anyone who threatens your attachment to your spouse.... i really think that marriage counseling is called for, to help you quit sitting the fence and decide whether you are in or out of this marraige. your wife deserves to find someone who loves her genuinely, rather than comparing her to some fantasy old friend, which you pretend it is OK merely becuase you are not having sex with the friend.
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