Having a tough day!

[celene]

Hey I think I have put up a lot of posts up here. I am trying desperately to move on and even seeking therapy to help me in the process. However, its been so bad and today has been the worst day. My ex seems to be adding one hot girl after the other on his friendster and they all live close to where he does. He added this one girl to his profile and she seems gorgeous. I know I might be over-reacting but I hate the fact that he is having so much of fun while I am here feeling miserable!!

[mikeca]

dont look at his profile! continue on with NC and focus on your own fun and self improvement

[samross]

celene,

 

hang in there, and know that a lot of people are feeling what you're going through. I'm one of them. But also know that when it comes to love and relationships things aren't always what they seem on the surface. He may seem to be having the time of his life but one day he'll realize what he is missing. Having a profile is like posting signs in your front yard. I can hang pictures of several beautiful women in my yard to brag about it but it doesn't mean that I have a deep love-filled relationship with them. It just means I have pictures of beautiful women in my front yard. Knowing guys (since I am one) - - guys like to brag but it always back-fires. Do yourself a big favor and fill your 'yard' with pictures of YOUR male friends. Don't do it to be playing games but work on YOUR life and the friends that fill it. If he's the one he'll come around eventually and see that YOU are the beautiful one. He should really have pictures posted of the beautiful ones like YOU that he lost.

[celene]

Thanks Samross. Its good to know that there are good guys out there as well. I know what you mean. I need to move on and that is high on my agenda. I deserve more than this. I need someone who is grown up to realize that adding one hot women after the other is high schoolish. But I cannot wonder how he met them, how he started to chat and whether he is dating any of them etc....Its so tortorous. But I also believe one day he will wake up and realize what he has lost. I hope he does because the pain I am feeling at the moment is unexplainable.

Thanks again for the post...

[celene]

thanks mike. I appreciate it. YEs I need to stop looking at his profile. But I feel like I need to know what is happening in his life so that when he starts to date or maybe he is now, I kow it ASAP so that I dont come back after two months still not over him and see his relationship profile changed or see posts of girls flirting with him. At this moment, I feel like if there is a continuity in the pain its less painful than a sudden jolt. If you know what I mean.

Thanks again for the post though!

[samross]

Instead of trying to build yourself up to stand the pain of learning his life is going on, build yourself up to stand the happiness of YOUR life going on. I know what you mean about the jolt of learning something new. It won't get easier becasue you are still looking back. NC helped me even though I have to face her on a regular basis. Also, sharing advice with others on this site has helped me. I still fall down, I still cry, I still wake up thinking about her, but it get easier each day.

[mariab.]

celene, I know its hard but just don't look at his page. Have a goal that you won't look at it for 1 day, then if you go through one day, go to 2 days etc.. I was looking at my exes page everyday and just making mysef unhappy (and I was dumped in the worst possible way.."I am not in love, with you anymore-you pushed me away too much..I want to date other women" blah blah blah) Look, just take it one day at a time. Just b/c you think he's all that doesnt mean other people do! and keep posting here, I get alot of help from people more than my therapist!! have you tried yoga?