Couple of issues..

[Frogglet2006]

.. i broke up with my lt (5 years) boyfriend in October last year and subsequently have had NC since.. I have worked through my feelings and it is finally fantastic to actually come through all the heartbreak, as i feel so much better for it and see our split as positive as lots of things have come out of it!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I also am a better person, stronger and because he was my first boyfriend and i went through a pretty rough breakup.. i feel i have learnt so much.. which is so cool!!

 

I feel like i have had a new lease of life and with it.. came a guy.. the first other guy to be a potential interest! I wasnt looking for a guy but we met over the internet and subsequently met up.. and then met up on a regular basis just hanging out etc.

 

I started to "like" him, well, i thought i did.. and told him, to which he was so happy with and declared his feelings.

 

However, he spent the night here.. just chatting.. and in the morning i was confused about my feelings.. this was 2 weeks ago and he has been away and came back.. to which he has spent a couple more weekend nights here (after parties) where it just happened that he assumed he would be sleeping in my bed.

 

He then has become quite "possessive" and is talking about loving me!!!.. also, ringing, txting etc. all the time and is really really clingy.. i.e. wants to do stuff all the time!! and like last night.. i had some friends round for a party and i wanted to stay up and he wanted to go to bed.... so i was like hmm.. well, ok.. but, i obviously haven't done anything more than just a kiss (not even proper kissing) as i dont know how i feel and quite frankly.. when he was trying it on.. I really didn't feel comfortable!!!!!!!

 

He is a nice guy.. really kind, caring.. but smothering me and I dont categorically want a relationship!!..

 

I tried telling him last night and haven't led him on i.e. played it cool.. when he is "trying it on".. i change the subject or talk about something random!.. aww.. its annoying as i dont want to hurt him as i wanted him as a friend.. not as a relationship!!

 

If anything, it is his friend who I am lusting for.. not this chap and how much of a b**ch does that make me?? but i cant help it!!

 

I am use to having guy friends, but, this guy wants more and i cant give it to him.. so, how do i tell him??

 

Part of me wants him to get bored i.e. with me not kissing/doing anything with him and he moves on.. and gets someone he deserves (someone who can give him the relationship)..

 

I dont want to break his heart.. but he is talking about loving me and i actually want to just hide!!..

 

I had been in a relationship for 7 years.. (only 22) this smothering is really choking and I need to get out.. but, without hurting him and remaining friends!!!!!!!

 

The guy is younger than me and not been in a relationship before.. so, he is kind of new to this.. but.. i dont want to hurt him so if anyone has any bright ideas of what i should do???

 

I cant bring myself to tell him face to face.. so i am kind of waiting for him to ask ...

 

Please help!!.. i dont want to break his heart like i had mine broken!!!!!

[robowarrior]

Face the consequenses, you told him you liked him now you should stay with him wether you like it or not. Will you finally make up your mind on what you want? You can't pendle on in the gray area for the rest of your life, look at life more black and white, you either do this, or you either do that. Of course its rediculous, i can't make you stay with this guy if you don't want to, but don't you see that all of this is as a result of your chaotical thinking? Put order in chaos, make up your mind, the golden rule for hesitating is this. If you aren't sure, then don't do it.

 

oh i love you i love i love you. Great want to get married then? Ehm whoa, geez gosh, ugh i actually like that friend of yours. (just showing you how rediculously undecisive actions can be)

 

They say that the person who says A. should also say B. But what matters even more is that you are aware that after you say A , a B might occur, so if you aren't prepared or willing to go for that, don't speak up to begin with.

 

This because you now have to tell him the news that you want to abort the relationship, which isn't nice for him, but its better if you tell him now, then you two being engaged married, having 3 kids and then saying ' honey i never loved you ' , its a smack in the face like you have had in the past, i urge you not to pass on such hurt to others.