what goes around comes back around

[eclipse01]

i recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years because it seems like everything has changed.and she constantly hangs out with her friend a female by the way. i feel like crap because i took her for granted all these years and now i realize that i am madly in love with her. she doesnt believe me when i say id change. i tried showing her i can change for a week but i sometimes get a good response from her but sometimes its not. she says shes not dating anyone else and wont but still hesitates to say she loves me. we tried going back out and she would say she loved me and be affectionate sometimes. but it seems like her friend is number one priority and i feel i should be. i dream about her cheating on me or just having sex with an other guy. i think about her every second and regret taking her for granted. i dont know what to do i desperately need her back because she has always been there for me and has been my back bone through everything. i feel unhappy and incomplete wit out her. we fight alot but its mostly about her friend. i doubt she would date anyone right now plus she said it but i need and want her. i am planning to send her roses to her classroom on v-day. and a letter. i dont know if thats right or what.im hoping she takes me back i love her with all my heart and feel like crap because i cheated on her and wouldn't even care. she would be the one crying and wanting me back because we were always on and off now im her and shes me she doesnt even care to fight anymore when we argue she just says ok and that leaves me shut because we dont resolve anything. any suggestions? any advice? we would fight about her driving everywhere to but thats only becuase i totaled my eclipse but get it back this week. she drives her friend everywhere but doesnt complain. please help me.

[robowarrior]

Ok halt with everything that you are doing.

 

Currently You are making MAJOR mistakes in this relationships.

 

-Show you have a life of your own to live. Bring the power of your life back where it belongs, namely in YOUR hands.

 

-Never go into a relationship expecting it to work out just because it concerns 'your case' , reality is that a girl can pick her bags and leave any day.

 

-Denying her free will is a big NO NO. Not only will you send her into her friends arms (because she will stand up for who is picked on) The more you fight about her friend, the more she will like her and see you as the trouble maker.

 

Not only that, she can decide for herself to be with whomever she wants to be. You are being possesive, you need to learn that you can love someone but you don't "read "do no own"" a person, she is her own individual.

 

- Sending her valentine stuff only shows that you are clingy and need her. She'll get the impression that you can't live without your mommy ,she doesn't want to be your mother, she wants a man with a life of his own to lean on,she wants to find support in you, not vice versa.

 

-Ask yourself, am i with her so i can make her unhappy? Is she with me so she can make my life miserable? OF COURSE NOT , couples are supposed to make eachother happy, arguments poison the relationship and even small fights can lead to BIG break ups, so NEVER EVER give another swing to that wheel of hatred when arguments arise because it will only make the hate go on forever, you can't fight hate with more hate, it will only stop if you pour love in it.

 

Anyway life is something that in itself is very messed up (better get used to it), for all you know she might be a Lesbian with her friend. So you already have to be prepared for that, because those fights over a female friend would be rediculous otherwhise.

 

Anyway stop being afraid of her going with other partners, you cannot extort such kind of control over her that will make her do what you want. As said you can mostly only control your own life, and the control that you do have over others is not meant as a means of imposing your will on others and deleting that of her own.

[LostLoveinLosAngeles]

My codependency sense is tingling... Slow down man you need to work on your self from what you wrote you sound like Mr. Clingy. What are you going to do if she hangs out with her friends or doesnt see you when you want to see her? Are you going to hit her? Do you have magic button to make her come to you? I hope not, you need some serious help. Its seems like you are bringing your own personal fears onto a person who has done nothing but stick by you. If you love her, let her go and get yourself somehelp.