VeganBohemian Posted February 12, 2007 Share Posted February 12, 2007 My boyfriend has been having trouble in his class and he thinks he is going to fail and not graduate. He is in his last semester and this is a required class. He has been freaking out saying that he might drop it and take another class during the summer, but that he would graduate late. I thought the problem was that he simply did not study adequately so I gave him advice and told him forcefully kind of that if he wants to pass, he HAS to study harder. He says that he can't. I know he can...he has a 3.8 GPA. He is obviously capable. He just gets so overhwhelmed by his work and is a perfectionist (he'll spend 5 hours on a 1 page paper). My roommate had the same class (roughly...same teacher, same material) and she got a B on the first test (the one my BF thinks he failed) and I showed him and told him that it isn't impossible and he said a bunch of stuff. He all of a sudden had a horrible headache and we went to his house. After we ate, he slept on my lap for a little bit. Then, when we went to lay down he started to flip out saying that if he doesn't graduate on time that 1) he is stupid and 2) he is going to kill himself! (he took that back since then, but it still disturbed me a lot). He said that his degree is all he has and that he is retarded if he can't finish in 4 years, but that isn't true. I went ballistic after he said all that and that he is going to kill himself and I couldnt calm down, I was crying and hyperventilating. We ended up finally falling asleep. The next day, we were okay. He didn't mention the night before and said he is sorry and that he didn't mean what he said. We watched a movie, drank a little bit of rum (I drank too much), and we started talking about his situation again. I told him what he needs to do is just sit down and study for hours and hours before the test and he kept saying that he is different, he can't do that, he doesn't have the concentration, etc. He got upset, I started crying, he said my advice is good and that I shouldn't cry just because we are having a discussion. He said I should toughen up. I then said that he cannot tell me I am not tough because there are a lot of things going on in my life that I don't talk to him about. My mom is practically dying, my dad has bladder cancer, I HATE MY LIVING SITUATION. He then said that he feels bad studying on the weekend because thats when he sees me and then he actually started crying saying that he hates how I have so many sad things happening in my life and that it isn't fair to me. He ended up crying SOO much because of ME. Saying that he has so much pressure to get us "out of here" (meaning our living situations)...anyway, we ended up ok. I don't understand what I should do to help him. He said he is going to stick his class out and try to deal with it. But, he overreacts so much. He said that if he is going to try in this class he will have to go on "lockdown" mode. He is insane sometimes. I didn't mean he has to spend every waking second with his nose in a book, but he HAS TO STUDY something if he is going to graduate. The test that he took he was supposed to memorize like 60 sanskirt terms and shiz. I don't know what to do...I love him so much and I know that if he fails this class, it will be very, very bad. I want him to get some kind of help with his problems. I need to be able to make everything okay. I want him to know that he doesn't need to see me every weekend and that graduation is WAY more important. I want him to know how intelligent and wonderful he is. And I want him to know that he will be so successful and that no matter what happens I love him. Quote Link to comment
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.