I want to stop feeling any hopes...

[Me and myself]

How can I do it? I'm feeling so bad.

I'm aware many of my sad feeligs comes from my hopes and expectations about so many things...if she calls or not, if she texts me or not....This is making me really bad.

[BetterKarma]

Unfortunately, the only thing that will make those feelings subside is "Time."

 

I know it sounds cliche but it's true. What you're going through is very common and it's normal. Give it some time and don't be so hard on yourself. Treat yourself for something nice, pamper yourself.

[terk2021]

Many of us ask the same questions. First off, take her number, email address, and all reminders of her from your direct line of site. I am not sure how recent your break up was, or what your specific situation is, but what does make things harder is to cling to hope. If you get an email, a call, or a text, you will want to analyze it.

 

You probably feel like if you do not call or text or email, she will not know how you feel. It's been about 7 months now since my breakup, and it was by far the hardest breakup I have ever had in my life. After a few weeks of NC, she came back for about a month, only to ask for a break. After a few more weeks of NC, she came back, only to ask for a longer break. I chased, she ran Love makes our minds go to waste and allows our hearts to run our lives.

 

You have probably had more advice from different people coming at it from different angles based upon experiences, and non-experiences. The only thing I can say is that I would have been so much further along if I let myself accept things for where they were, and moved forward with all of my might. It might take counseling, or depression meds, or an extended vacation. Everyone goes through these things differently.

 

I sat around on the couch and ignored everyone. I went through 2 months of drinking and going out, and the next day I just felt worse. I would not say give up hope (not knowing the whole situation), but take the next few months and concentrate on you. You are the only thing that you are in control of.

 

Someone suggested to me to write down a journal. Write down all of the good things and bad things in your relationship. Write down all of the things that you want to accomplish personally and in a relationship, and see if those match up with this woman you are waiting to hear back from.

 

Have you had a conversation with her about your feelings? If not, maybe you could put together an email or a letter, expressing to her your feelings. Let her know your feelings for her.

 

I shared a story in another thread about how after I went through this terrible breakup, I had the opportunity to start seeing the woman I thought I was going to get engaged to and marry about 2-3 years ago. I have been going out with her for 3 months now, and to be honest, the feelings from my side are just gone.

 

Things change in time my friend. I wish I could give you some magic words to make the pain go away. I just wanted to share some of the mistakes I made to try and get my ex back by chasing and reminding her how I felt.

 

We are all here to help, so keep writing, and hang in there. I wish you the best.

[milcasey]

I'm unfortunately just too worn out to type the million page response I know I could, but I'll just tell you the one thing that's helping me right now: friends. Find them. Get the old ones back. They are the one thing--they're presense, support, words--that has helped me.

 

After all, if you're anything like me, the reason you ended up here is because of a perhaps unknown need for human support. I never saw it before, but people have a hidden power/ability to change the way you feel.

[Me and myself]

Many of us ask the same questions. First off, take her number, email address, and all reminders of her from your direct line of site. I am not sure how recent your break up was, or what your specific situation is, but what does make things harder is to cling to hope. If you get an email, a call, or a text, you will want to analyze it.

 

I've done everything you're sugesting, except block her from my main e-mail address. There's no blocking feature in my mail client so the only possibility is to ask her to stop sending me e-mails. She's always sending those chain letters and funny power point presentations....I'm affraid to send har an e-mail asking to stop sending them. I've been analysing why am I so affraid and I think is because I'm affraid she might think I don't care for her anymore. By other hand, I'm affraid to do it because I may send her a sentimental text (I know my self...) and I know I shouldn't do it.

Other possibility is to delete the e-mails before opening them...but as you've said, I would want to analyse them and I think I can't let it go that easily.

 

You probably feel like if you do not call or text or email, she will not know how you feel.

 

I have told her, several times while we were still in the relationship, that when my relationships fail I always run away. I told her that's my way to react about this issues. So, I never explained her why I went to NC.

By other hand, she always said it makes no sense for two former bf/gf stop seeing each other when they split. In fact, I've always noticed that one of her biggest fears in our relationship was if I go away and stop being her friend. I really don't know why this big fear from her.

Anyway, she knows how I feel about her (I've asked her, before NC, to try again but she said NO). She also knows I'm doing what I've said, I'm going away.

So, I think there's no point in explain her what's happening.

 

I sat around on the couch and ignored everyone. I went through 2 months of drinking and going out, and the next day I just felt worse. I would not say give up hope (not knowing the whole situation), but take the next few months and concentrate on you. You are the only thing that you are in control of.

 

I live far from the friends with whom I'm used to go out. They are only two of them and one of those seems to me is trying to take the opportunity created by our break up to try his chances with my ex. So, there's only one left but he's not always available. I can only see him at the weekends. I live in a town where I don't know almost anyone. I live with my two children so I can't simply go out at night because they go to sleep at 21:30 every evening.

So, all my time is spent at work or home. All the 5 days of the week are spent alone with my own thoughs and it's extremely difficult not to think about my ex.

I'm trying to turn my self into a better person. I'm an extremely insecure person, with a lot of issues about relationships and I really want to be a more confident person but it seems I will never be that kind of person.

 

Someone suggested to me to write down a journal. Write down all of the good things and bad things in your relationship. Write down all of the things that you want to accomplish personally and in a relationship, and see if those match up with this woman you are waiting to hear back from.

Have you had a conversation with her about your feelings? If not, maybe you could put together an email or a letter, expressing to her your feelings. Let her know your feelings for her.

 

My e-mail draft box is full of unsent e-mails to her and texts about my feelings. About sending her an e-mail or letter, I think it won't change anything. She knows how I feel about her and, in spite of that, she said NO. So, what would I change by sending her a letter?

 

I shared a story in another thread about how after I went through this terrible breakup, I had the opportunity to start seeing the woman I thought I was going to get engaged to and marry about 2-3 years ago. I have been going out with her for 3 months now, and to be honest, the feelings from my side are just gone.

 

I'm too insecure and unconfident to go out and find a girl just to forget my ex. That's something I'm aware about my self.

 

Things change in time my friend. I wish I could give you some magic words to make the pain go away. I just wanted to share some of the mistakes I made to try and get my ex back by chasing and reminding her how I felt.

 

I never chased her after we split, never clinged, never talked too much about our relationship after we break up. I always had the feeling she was hoping that I would plead her to go back but I only asked her to come back once (I'm like her, I never go after anyone who rejectes me). Even though, things are being very difficult for me.

 

Thanks for "listening"!

[Me and myself]

I'm unfortunately just too worn out to type the million page response I know I could, but I'll just tell you the one thing that's helping me right now: friends. Find them. Get the old ones back. They are the one thing--they're presense, support, words--that has helped me.

 

I wish I could have them near me.

And I wish some of them act differently towards my former relationship. But that's just my problem, not theirs.