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feeling empty.

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So...i am sitting here thinking...i am thinking about what i am going to do for the next...who knows how long. I am feeling like no matter what i do is going to be pointless...it is not going to accomplish anything in my life and i dont even see the meaning of doing much of anything. I mean...my gf left me and so i pick up all these new hobbies and ways to fill time...i am still left with all this spare time and i get to thinking...i thought about what a bunch of pointless BS my life thus far has been...drugs...alcohol...people i thought were friends...nothing but a waste of time. I know i am young and i know i am immature and i have alot ahead of me...but what am i really waiting for? what is so great out of this life that i am waiting to get older to do? i dont really know what this feeling i have inside is...but it is an empty one. I feel empty and i dont like it at all. I dont feel much like searching for a new girlfriend anymore because what is going to come of it? at this age nothing...people my age change and keeping a relationship with one person through all of this self discovery is near impossible...so what the hell do i do? keep going to jiu jitsu (which is fun...but accomplishing nothing)...keep saving for a bike (which will do the same thing my jeep does...get me from point a to point b)...or keep searching for something i am not going to find for another few years atleast.


Where do i go? what do i do? im bored. im lonely. im tired of feeling empty. i want to be content and im sick of hearing "wait a few years, you have your whole life ahead of you"...what do i do in the mean time while im waiting to die?

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Read existentialist philosophy...I think you're an existentialist at heart.


It's tough, because I personally think there's nothing beyond this and life is partially meaningless...I was very depressed and alone at 17. It was during the time that the girl I was in love with was dating another guy, I failed math a year earlier etc etc. It was a big mess. But things have a way of generally working themselves out, but you must put in as much as you want to get out as well.


Nitzsche once spoke about life as an eternal recurrance. Although we may push for an end, there really is no end, and we're just re-creating what has happened in different ways. This leads to nihilism in a sense. What we do is futile, the world is meaningless. It is also echoed by de Beauvoir, Camus and Sartre, french existentialists.


The only thing you can do is give meaning to your everyday life where meaning might not even exist. I know this means to give up thinking critically in a sense, but have faith that what you do has a purpose and is meaningful, that what you are doing is important in improving yourself. You cannot anticipate the future with great accuracy but that is why you must live in the moment. Carpe diem and seize the day. You might as well, because the day has only just begun for you.

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My thinking is very similar to yours. You like jui jitzu so keep at it and find other things that bring you joy. Nothing has a true point but the experiences are valuable spiritually. I believe in life beyond death, and often wonder what the point of that is as well. What is it you want to experience in this life? You are the only you there is, so what mark do you want to leave upon this world? Check out this website it might be of interest to you. link removed

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