How to be a guy girls like to be around?

[Salucious]

I think part of my problem with attracting women is that I don't spark their interest. I can be friendly at first impressions, but I could see the same girls I talked to in class or wherever but none ever would come up to me and start talking again. Then I notice other guys my age having female friends of theirs calling THEM and having girls want to hang out with THEM. I just don't know how to act to get girls that interested, and wanting to be around me. "Being myself" is a bad suggestion because I'm always myself. I've been better at trying to start conversation, but like I said so far none of the girls I've talked to have kept enough interest to seek me out. I know girls respond to cocky guys, (although some deny it). I'm not really talking about getting girl's numbers for dates, I mean trying to create a social circle, make some female friends to hang out with and help meet other girls. I feel that if I can get girls to like me as friends then I know I can at least appeal to girls. (not that I'd make friends to turn them into girlfriends). I just would like some clarification that women enjoy being around me, and so far I've never really had any. I know first impressions are important, so what makes girls want to see a guy again and hang out with them?

 

For example, I met this girl in a bowling (PE) class, I tried to be friendly, getting to know her etc. I paird with her like maybe 2 times and then a next class I just sat away from her, seeing if she would come up to me and say "hi" but she didn't. I thought that if she enjoyed my company and wanted to be friends she would have come up to me.

 

I feel more comfortable with meeting people than I used to, but I guess I'm not interesting or "fun" enough for girls to want to hang around me. Any suggestions?

[Ericson]

So? What's the big deal? Take innitiative. We only have once chance on this earth, that chance is right now. Your here NOW. Why don't you live your life like you want to live? Don't let your embarrassment get in the way of happiness, who knows, girls may be too shy to talk to you.

[itsallgrand]

Are you having a good time?

 

I've noticed that people gravitate to those with confident, upbeat (doesn't have to be sickenly so or 'on' all the time, just generally positive and happy) folks the most.

 

About the cocky thing. I actually agree with you. Some people are attracted to cockiness - thinking it is confidence. This will sound like a cliche, and it is, yet true: Those people are generally insecure or off-track.

Make no bones about it, there are a lot of insecure people out there. Girls and boys, men and women.

 

Slightly aloof is attractive though, I find. Not uninterested, but rather so interested in your own life and interests that there is not a lot riding on any one conversation, person, relationship, or outcome. You know what I mean?

Being able to be somewhere and take or leave whatever may come: it's attractive because it takes pressure off of other people.

 

Another thing - Are you open with people? I have watched men who are rather ordinary ...I mean, they work rather dull jobs, have very common interests, there is nothing flashy about them or their looks...who draw people to them like bees to honey.

What I noticed is that these people are consistently open and available to people. They talk about their interests and lives, and make people a part of it, they ask about others a lot, compliment and joke and are just so available and non-threatening.

 

You probably already know that for anybody there are a lot of hit and misses. Even the most popular and likable of people encounter being blown off/rejected/forgotten every single day! It's normal.

 

Just keep putting yourself out there and enjoying yourself. I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable nowadays. It'll just keep getting better.