Birth Story - BornToResist

[scarew]

Then he acts like we're so in love and everything AGAIN. So I haven't taken his calls for a couple days and have to once again let him know where we stand. *sigh* It's so tiring. Ever since then, he's been pushing the name thing on me and pressuring me to let his mother see the baby.

 

 

Don't forget how dillusional R is. I don't think anyone will ever really know how drug free he has been lately, but the fact is that the residual drugs in his system will cause him to be irrational. He is like a child. You might have to continue to remind him where u guys stand.

 

It's like an illness. He forgets things that seem obvious to normal, sober human beings such as whether or not has a chance with you.

 

I am so glad to hear that you feel better talking to the lawyer. I knew it would help you. You are making good decisions by not doing anything at this point until your lawyer advises you.

 

How is having the baby at your moms house? Do you two sleep in the same room? Is Daniel keeping you up at night?

[Dilly]

Yay, I'm so glad you got clarity on this situation. NOW, you can relax and draw your own boundaries where you deem them reasonable. I think you are in great shape to research that with all that's going on. I'm glad you have that behind you!!! YAYAYAYAYA!

[BornToResist]

How is having the baby at your moms house? Do you two sleep in the same room? Is Daniel keeping you up at night?

 

I love having him here. Everyone's hands are always itching to hold him and that helps A LOT. My brother is super protective so I don't have to worry about R coming and bullying me, and when I have to take a bathroom break or finally find time to shower, someone is always more than willing to help me. He does sleep in the same room as me, and sometimes crashes in my bed. I know it's supposed to be bad, and I really try to get him into his bassinett as much as possible (he's getting better and better everyday, he only sleeps with me for about 2 hours a night) but I love snuggling with him.

 

He does keep me up, but seems to be getting on some kind of schedule. He falls asleep around 9 or 10 and wakes every two hours to nurse but then goes back to sleep. He finally wakes up around 7 or 8am and stays awake for a couple hours, then takes a nap from about 1 to 3. So as long as I sleep when he does, I'm good...it's just hard to get back to sleep after he wakes me up.

 

But honestly, I wouldn't change anything about my living situation. I get more support from my family then I did the entire time I was with R. But my brother and sister-in-law are starting to pack everything up and prepare to move...it's very depressing but will be great in the long run. They are just so supportive and help me out so much, I hate knowing that's going to be long distance from now on.

[scarew]

But honestly, I wouldn't change anything about my living situation. I get more support from my family then I did the entire time I was with R. But my brother and sister-in-law are starting to pack everything up and prepare to move...it's very depressing but will be great in the long run. They are just so supportive and help me out so much, I hate knowing that's going to be long distance from now on.

 

Having your family as close support is so awesome. Only recently has the nuclear family become popular, and if you ask me, I'd say we would function alot better living in large houses with our families. Unfortunately I'm too used to my privacy to change hahaha.

 

Remember when R thought that u living with your mom would be something he could use against u in court? What a nutbar. As you have clearly experienced, it is BETTER to have your family near!

 

I can't wait to snuggle with my little one!!!!!

[BornToResist]

I can't wait to snuggle with my little one!!!!!

 

It's going to be here before you know it!!

 

It's still crazy when people talk about how I'm a mother...I'm still not used to it.

 

I just wanted to update a little...I was still trying to make everything hunky-dorey with R, but he totally blew it. (Surprise surprise!!)

 

Even though I didn't put him on the birth certificate and there's no proof that he is in fact the father, I let him come see the baby last week. He was cordial and acted like we're together again, but it was good to see his daughter hold the baby. So he said he was going to be out here this weekend and I said maybe he could come by once again to visit but nothing was set in stone.

 

I was asleep (for once!) and he showed up with his daughter again and just walked in the door and headed to my room. My mom saw him and stopped him and told him I was sleeping and try back in a couple hours.

 

Everyone was pretty upset with this (obviously) and I finally called him back a couple hours later. He started telling me everything he thought; how my mother controls me, I need to stand up for him, he doesn't care if my family likes him, and last but NOT least, how what I'm doing is ABUSE AND NEGLECT. I still can't believe he said that...he said keeping this kid away from his father is abuse and neglect. I'm still shocked.

 

I got off the phone immediately. I don't know why I'm so surprised he'd use this, he always says everything he can to hurt me, but this is way over the line.

[southerngirl]

How rude he is to just walk into your house like that! I am glad they are there to keep you safe, he is acting very irrational.

 

No, its not abuse what your doing... it is he that is abusing you by violating your bounderies and showing your family and you no respect.

[Hope75]

BTR,

 

He's just trying anything he can to get under your skin because he's not getting his way. Attacking your parenting skills is something he knows he can get to you with- but don't let it bother you- It's the same old song and dance. (ask yourself if HE has room to make such accusations? Bringing his daughter around junkies, sleeping in a trailor, no clean clothes, no child support for either child, etc.) 40$ can barely buy a large bag of diapers these days, and how many has your son gone through already since he's been born?

 

Don't let him get to you- if anything, protecting your baby and keeping him on a schedule is the BEST thing you can do for him.

 

R hasn't done ANYTHING to prove himself to you, and he has no right to just barge into your house and come into your bedroom. He is a guest in your house who needs to be invited... you are not a couple, and he does not live there.

 

So you were right to hang up the phone and remember what your lawyer told you. R is sunk should he try and pull any of his childish crap... so let him try.

[scarew]

OMG I can't believe he just walked in like that.

 

Try to let his bull crap roll off your back remembering how crazy he is. My father used to do stuff like that to my mother all the time. He would say how horrible it is that she remarried and how bad it is that she would "force me to learn to read and write" when he felt I was too young. I frickin loved school work when I was little!

 

Then I would go see my dad for visits and he would do drugs, smoke around me, pick up hitchhikers while I was in the car, all R like behaviors.

 

These kind of men have their heads too far up their buts to see straight.

 

Thank God you got out of that relationship. You're son will have an excellent life now!