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Birth Story - BornToResist


BornToResist
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Hey guys!!

 

Born on February 7, 2007

8 lbs 6 oz

20 inches long (I think...)

and a FOURTEEN inch head!

 

I haven't filed the paperwork yet due to difficulties with the father, but I'm naming him Benjamin. I had a million different names picked out, but when I held him, they just didn't fit.

 

ANYWAYS here's what happened. I'm doped up on Vicodin and haven't slept well so please excuse me for not making much sense...

 

I got to the hospital at 5am for my scheduled induction and they gave me a picotin drip and an IV to get things started. I got an epidural around 5pm when things started getting pretty painful and slept until around 8pm. I called R (the father) to let him know I was in the hospital and he'd better come now if he wanted to be there at all, but he wasn't allowed in the delivery room and he wasn't allowed to stress me out. *sigh*

 

I was fully dialated and ready to push around 8:30 and he was born about an hour later. Nobody's joking when they say it hurts really freaking bad. Even with an epidural. But it's so worth it. So R showed up (AND his mother) and they both tried to get into the delivery room, even though they were told beforehand they weren't allowed. After everything was cleaned up, R came in and was so bent out of shape. R's mom started talking trash to mine, saying she was behind everything. I don't know what the heck, but they brought drama. So dumb.

 

The next day (yesterday) my brother and sister in law came to see the baby, and R showed up. They stayed all day so he wouldn't be alone with me pretty much. Visiting hours ended at 8 and everyone left, and R acted like he was leaving but sat on the bed. He said "the baby's getting my last name, right?" and I didn't tell him no...I said I was thinking about hyphenating them instead, and he freaked out. He told me I robbed him of an experience he should have been a part of by not letting him into the delivery room, and now I'm going to take away his right as a father by not giving him his last name. I told him I thought it was stupid for someone to name a kid after a father who wants a paternity test anyways...and he said that's just for "legal purposes." Whatever. Anyways things got heated, the nurse saw and tried to take my blood pressure which was off the charts, I told him to leave, and he started pointing at me, saying he'd be back, blah blah blah. I broke down, the nurses came in and told me they were calling protective services or whatever it's called for me so they can tell me what my rights are and how it's not okay for anyone to bully me.

 

After that, apparently he went to my mother's house to talk to my mom and my brother. He made a jerk out of himself and they told him what they thought of him.

 

Today he called me and told me he loved me. I told him he has a really weird way of showing it. They he proceeded to tell me he didn't want a paternity test anymore, he wants to be with me, yadda yadda yadda. I said I wasn't talking to him and that's that. He showed up a couple hours later to see the baby, and started rubbing my leg and my back and tried to kiss me. I told him to stop, he said he wouldn't "try" anymore, then left. The nurses put a sign on my door saying every visitor has to check in before going in and were told by protective services to call the cops if they see him again.

 

I feel so torn. I feel crazy. I feel happy because I have the prettiest child ever...but things are about to get really, really, really bad.

 

Protective services asked me a bunch of questions and gave me some numbers to call. They said basically he has nothing. I have all the cards. If he shows up, I gotta call the cops. I should file a restraining order too. He won't be on the birth certificate. In order to change that, he must get a paternity test and go to court. Then I get child support if he were to do that. He has nothing. Even then, he'd have to get supervised visitation because of his record, but I'm gonna need a lawyer.

 

I love this child. But this is going to be the biggest test I've faced so far in my life. It's so bittersweet.

 

Anyways, besides everything, I'm elated (not just because of the vicodin) and my son is so beautiful.

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Congrats!!!! I am glad to hear benjamin is healthy!

 

I am sorry about your ex, but I am glad those nurses were there to support you. I agree, find out about your rights, do not let him bully you. If he is demanding a paternity test, I don't see why he is being uppity about the last name. Besides, he is not your husband, so I don't see why the baby should get his name.

 

anyway, hang in there and talk to the protective services and find out everything you can about his rights and your rights. (((HUGS)))

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Hey there BTR,

 

I have been following your story from the sidelines. I am so happy for you and that little Benjamin is doing well. Actually, that name is on my list as a name if I had a son. I love that name.

 

 

 

We were all in suspense about how things were for you and could not wait to hear how you are doing. I am so happy you both are safe. Thank you so much for checking in!

 

Congratulations.

 

 

((((BIG HUGS))))

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Congrats ! Isn't having a new little baby the best thing you have EVER experienced??? Focus on that right now. And take care of yourself, your hormones are going to go crazy over the next month. Do not let anything stress you out...even though the baby is on the outside he will still feel it from you. I am so happy for you both. Things will turn out. You will get through this garbage fine. Be strong.

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Excellent!! congratulations on your beautiful new son!

 

your ex is just showing his true colors yet again... you were having a BABY for crying out loud, and he couldn't think about your comfort for one minute??

 

he and his mother sound totally obnoxious, so please listen to people telling you about your rights and make sure you protect yourself and your son... and don't listen to him about 'loving' you, someone who loves you doesn't treat you like that...

 

best of luck and enjoy your son... i think once you recover from the physical stress of birth, you will find your strength again, and apply it to being a good mother to your son, and realizing you need to do what it takes to take care of your baby!

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Congratulations mama!!!

 

What great news! I have been wondering how you and the baby were doing, how are you feeling?

 

Wow, R was a jerk and so was his mother, but it sounds like those nurses were very supportive. You got some great advice. I hope that R wises up and stops being such a bully.

 

Way to go on bringing that little boy into the world!!!!

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Hey BTR,

 

Congratulations on the birth of Benjamin! Great name- I love it!

 

About R- I am glad that the nurses stood up for you and wouldn't let him bully you, and I am sorry that he caused a fuss when you were delivering but not surprised.

 

I hope that once you've had a chance to rest that you will talk to an attorney and file a restraining order on R. The last thing you need is him showing up whenever he feels like it to pester you while you are healing up and getting to know your son.

 

I hope we will see pictures of him soon!

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Aaaah congratulations, well done you! I agree with everyone else Benjamins a lovely name.

 

My first child was born on Feb 7th, when they're older they'll get lots of birthday presents, then a week later its valentines day

 

Sorry to hear about the father and meddling mother in law. Obviously they want to see your baby, but there are better ways to go about it and you dont need stress right now.

 

Think very carefully about giving your son his surname. Both of my children have my surname as their father made it very clear we would never be married. I didnt want to go through life with different names from my children.

 

All the best and enjoy these precious, early days with your new son

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Huge congratulations on the birth of your baby! Yay, that's some fantastic news to read when you first come on ENotAlone!!!

 

Sorry that you're having a rough time with the baby's father - I'm glad that you're getting a lot of good advice and practical things to do. I hope that things go smoothly in the future - you're going to be hands full with the wee one!

 

Awwww, so pleased for you!

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Congrats!!!!!!!

 

Concentrate on you and your beautiful baby right now. Let the nurses and law enforcement handle the rest when it comes to R. If he gets a paternity test and decides to be in his son's life, then he can do so through proper visitation. You do not have to take his bullying anymore.

 

Regardless of whether he is the father- your birth involves your body and is a highly personal experience where you need to relax and draw on you inner strength. If he was there with his mother to stress you out- that would be unfair. He can see his son under the proper conditions.

 

Don't you worry about a thing. Get losts of rest and enjoy your new baby. It sounds like your family is being supportive- don't be afraid to lean on them. These early days are so special and your son will grow up so fast. Cherish these days and protect yourself from stress and negativity. If you feel overwhelmed, don't hesitate to ask for the help of those who are truly out for your best interest. Don't let R intimidate you.

 

Congrats!!! We are all so proud of you!

 

BellaDonna

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