Is it possible never to be in love?

[court7768]

I always feel weird posting things that make you sound pathetic,

NO OFFENSE, but I was curious. I am 20 years old, I have never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, never been kissed, and finally I have never felt anyone was interested. Does anyone think this can continue unabated forever until I die?

[GuitarHero]

Does anyone think this can continue unabated forever until I die?

 

Only if you let it. Take the initiative. Don't wait for a guy to make a move, make one yourself.

[Weeblie]

Yeah it's possible.

 

Are you sure there hasn't been anyone interested? I've noticed that it's easy to notice when someone is interested in someone else, but not when they're interested in you. Maybe you just need to research the signals?

[court7768]

I need a book of signals just to recognize what a signal could be, honestly, I am probably oblivious, Whats funny to me is it doesn't bother me until I realized that I was odd, and odd in the sense that people thought I was weird because I had let 20 years pass without being married or connected,

I like life, I like being who I am,

[Weeblie]

Well I didn't start dating till I was 21, didn't get my first kiss until then either. So I don't think you're odd. And I still haven't been in love yet.

 

If it's not something you want right now...why feel bothered by it?

[court7768]

Insecurity

[Night Pumpkin]

Yes it is possible to never fall in love. Romantic love is not for everyone. Some people are born to be independent and there is nothing you can do it about it.

 

Being 20 is not bad. I am 23 and have never dated, had a gf, and don't see a problem with it. Just take your time...

 

As for you, maybe you are just not in the right places to meet guys....where exactly have you been looking ??

[Beec]

If you want a book of signals, then go find one. Read up on body language. And learn about what your's is telling the world too.

[Weeblie]

Eh. Don't let people's idea of what is "normal" make you feel bad. If you're happy the way you are, then fine. Some people prefer to be single. If that's you, great!

 

I mean do you want to be dating someone right now?

[Blackhawk2009]

if u really want to find a guy..let yourself by known..personally i would like to see a girl approache me and say hi instead of me doing it all the time

[court7768]

I am a university student, I look there, at work? No because I am my own boss

 

Probably the big problem is I don't look, the more I think about it the more I decide I worry too much, usually prompted by a jab by family on "When are you getting married?" or "Some people aren't meant to be married"

[court7768]

Your right, women in general place great responsiblity on men

we want equal rights, but we expect you to do all the work. no sarcasm intended

[Blackhawk2009]

yea im in college too and my mom and dad are always like "when are you gona get a g/f" ive never been on a date/had a gf. but yea i hear college is the best place to find someone..im still trying to figure out the best ways

[Caterina]

If you want a book of signals, then go find one. Read up on body language. And learn about what your's is telling the world too.

 

I know you've made some posts about body language in the past...maybe you can give her a link? Those were pretty good.

[iwishiknew]

I always feel weird posting things that make you sound pathetic,

NO OFFENSE, but I was curious. I am 20 years old, I have never had a boyfriend, never gone on a date, never been kissed, and finally I have never felt anyone was interested. Does anyone think this can continue unabated forever until I die?

 

Hey your not alone..I feel the same way as you do..I am 28 years old and still today I never had a gf or relationship, or kissed a girl yet..I feel so embarrassed about it..I feel doomed, like its over for me.

[astromantic]

I'm 22 and other than one exception, I have rarely felt interest in anyone and have never noticed anyone holding any interest in me. I do admit, as I do play gatekeeper a lot, I haven't really let anyone in. Peer pressure has a funny way of making you feel insecure doesn't it? When I was 20 I started to wonder a bit too about how odd I was relative to all my other friends. But it's not something I'm looking for. You admitted that you don't really look for it either so, just go with the flow and enjoy life as it is. It sure beats worrying all the time...

 

But to answer your original question: I think its possible for someone to never feel romantic love. It's not for everyone... upbringing and surrounding environment affects the way people perceive love. I'm a practical person as I've been raised with such an outlook on life. I do not believe in love at first sight and while its nice to dream of the romantic plotlines in movies and books, I think its complete bull for it to happen in real life.

[i1dr]

I havea question first. What is it about yourself do you believe that has brought this condition about. Is it mostly in your behaviour or in something more permanent?

[Northalius]

First off, it's not pathetic. Please, do not think we're thinking you're pathetic because of this. We're not at all feeling that way.

 

We all have our own problems! Do not think we're perfect!

 

Secondly: What are you insecure about? Looks? Personality? Or... ?

 

Thirdly, and most important: Have you spoken to a counselor about this?

 

I'd strongly suggest you do! Talking face to face with someone, is always nice. They can see your eyes and general body language, and thus get more a feeling as to what is really bothering you, when you truly open up to them.

 

A good counselor will try to get to the root of the problem, bring it to the surface, and destroy those (usually subconscious) thoughts you have, that are holding you down so much; but, at the same time, help you work on steps to move forward with fixing what you think is 'broken' in your life; what you're not personally satisfied with, etc.

[desert_rose26]

eh hem...I'm 23 and never been kissed...YET.

[Leonhart]

Being in love is wonderful, but its transcience makes it a double-edged sword. In other words, as nice as it is, it doesn't usually last and that makes it a bittersweet experience in the long run.

[Jetta]

God did not intend for us to be alone. Even Cain had a wife. You are only 20, focus on creating a good life for you and your future children. That right person will come along. I was inpatient and settled for the wrong ones because I feared being alone. Love is real, it's out there, and luckily we have more than one true love.

[piggypooh]

your not missing much

[piggypooh]

im 35, had a few girlfriends, and although i never cheat and treated them all well, there was no such thing as this magical feeling called "love" that ppl talk about. No girl has made me truly happy, i've met some wonderful girls but none of them made me truly believe that "love" can change everything. "love" is simply an emotion that I know i will never feel and no girl will ever make me happy so I will remain single for ever because if they can't give me happyness then I will end up hurting them. Thats what I have to accept for the rest of my life. I love through actions and kindess, but never feel special, never feel happy. It's an emotion I will never experience.

[Northalius]

im 35, had a few girlfriends, and although i never cheat and treated them all well, there was no such thing as this magical feeling called "love" that ppl talk about. No girl has made me truly happy, i've met some wonderful girls but none of them made me truly believe that "love" can change everything. "love" is simply an emotion that I know i will never feel and no girl will ever make me happy so I will remain single for ever because if they can't give me happyness then I will end up hurting them. Thats what I have to accept for the rest of my life. I love through actions and kindess, but never feel special, never feel happy. It's an emotion I will never experience.

 

We don't need partners to make us happy, or else we're living on thin ice! Because, if/when you break up, you're going to hit rock bottom.

 

No one says to build a foundation of hapiness on someone else. If you've read my posts about self esteem, and finding ones self, you'll see what I mean. We need to be content with living by ourselves first; love ourselves. But, we can share with a partner, as well. It's a nice thing, not a needed thing. There's a difference!

 

We have family in our lives... do we need them to live? No. But, it's nice to have, right? We have friends in our lives... but do we need them for hapiness? No. But... they're nice to have!

 

I go to the movies because it's a nice thing to do, but I don't need it for my hapiness. I drive a car, because it's a good thing to have, very convenient... but I don't need it. I sometimes eat cake at a party, but I don't need it for my hapiness. I watch TV and surf the internet, because it can be entertaining and informative... not because I think it'll be the sole basis for my hapiness though!

 

Meet someone to compliment your life, not be the foundation of it. You've probably had a wrong view of it from the start, my friend. But, if you keep saying you'll never feel that way, then you're 100% right! If you truly believe it, you'll make it come true yourself. Self-fulfilled prophecy.

[piggypooh]

What you say is true, but what I mean is that "magic feeling" that ppl describe, and being "in love" hitting them and being amazing.

 

THATS what ive never experienced and I know I never will.