Is he abusing my dog?

[SummerGirl38]

First let me first say, he's a great guy, the love of my life, hard working, warm, patient, faithful, he treats me like a queen..... BUT....

 

I have never been able to have children, which I will say has always bothered me deep down. So I decided a few years ago since I can't have a baby, I'll get a dog.

 

"Riley" my two year old Beagle is my kid and has been since the day I brought him home. Until I moved in with my bf, Riley slept beside me every night.

 

I will admit Riley is a bit of a demon dog. When it was just Riley and I he had eaten my mattress, my couch pillows, my comforter, ruined carpet from peeing, but he does have a good side, he's a Mama's boy, he loves kids, he knows a few tricks and he can't stand to be away from me, not to mention he's the cutest little Beagle ever.

 

Well the bf doesn't have any patience with him to say the least. Riley snores (LOUDER THAN A HUMAN), so he sleeps in the cold basement, while the Bf's dog sleeps upstairs. On more than one occasion, he has made him yipe.

 

Last week Riley was getting sick on the kitchen floor. I tried to get him outside but he wouldn't stop throwing up. My bf grabs him by the collar, makes him yipe (loud) and put him out the door.

 

The other night, I was trying to get Riley to his cage for bed. He did not want to go to say the least. He ran from me, I chased him and got him by the collar, my dog actually snapped at me, no blood, not even any contact but still, he snarled his lip and kinda lunged my way. NEVER HAS MY DOG DONE THIS. Well I smacked him in the nose (not very hard), told him bad and put him in his cage.

 

Well a big no-no, Riley decides there is one spot in the basement he wants to pee (even though he's 95% housebroke), the spot is on my bf's punching bag.

 

This morning when I was leaving for work, I discovered I forgot my cell phone and turned around, I walked in the door to hear Riley, yiping loud, three or four times. He was spanking (I think it was spanking, they were downstairs)

him for peeing on his punching bag the night before. It makes me wonder though, if he's making him mean and that's why Riley snapped at me.

 

 

I know I'm probably being overprotective and maybe a drama queen here, but every time he makes my dog yipe, I guess it's my motherly instinct kicking in, I wanna yell at the bf, I would never lay a hand on your kid (he has a 6 year old), Don't F'ing touch mine.

 

I'm thinking of finding another place, THERE IS NO GETTING RID OF RILEY,

I sincerely love the guy and even want to get married but Riley is my baby.

 

God everyone says you should raise puppies, yeah right, any opinions?

[SummerGirl38]

and can I add that his Rotweiler growls at me atleast twice a day and nothing ever happens to her. I feed this dog, play with her, but when he comes home she is his dog and his dog alone.

[Scout]

You're probably being overprotective and a drama queen? Are you serious?

 

Hell, yes, he's abusing your dog!

 

I'm sorry, but I almost burst into tears reading your thread. Please, I beg you...if you won't leave this man, at least find a loving and safe home for that defenseless little beagle.

[itsallgrand]

Two things:

 

*Bf needs to be told he is not to hit, yank, yell or treat your pup like that ever again.

 

*You and that dog need to go for training!

 

This could cause some nasty problems between the two of you, best to nip it in the bud.

Your bf may be frustrated at the lack of discipline/training (valid? you mentioned the pup as a 'demon dog' lol).

 

Ok, have you ever had a friend who had a 'momma's boy' for a pup? And the pup is all over the place, and all bleep is let loose, and momma doesn't take action to correct it? Yeah.

 

But, you are correct to be up in arms about him making your pup yelp and the way he is trying to deal with it.

 

Puppy in the basement?! Puppy may be having issues with being separated from you, if that transition wasn't slow and smooth.

 

Dogs are a lot of work, just like kids, so hey, I can totally understand how things can get to this point.

But you and puppy going for some training and learning would be a win-win solution, I think.

 

This is good practice to see yalls patterns if ya ever raise kids together, eh. lol.

[fnlyfrei]

Um...sheesh...I would feel the same way. I have three kids..and a cat and a dog...my kids consider the dog and the cat siblings. If my fiance touched my animals that way...I would be apt to think that in my absense he could strike out at my kids too. Sounds like your dog is a pain..but like you said..he is your baby. I think it sounds like Riley needs training..and your fiance needs anger managment. I think you can keep both..perhaps talk to your guy and ask that alternate methods of discipline be used..no child or animal should be beaten.

[Scout]

itsallgrand, I normally agree with your advice, however, this beagle is a living, breathing being, not "practice" for when they have kids.

 

Yes, the pooch needs training, but even so, there is something deeper going on here. The guy is hitting her dog when she's not around, choking it by its collar when the poor thing is already vomiting, for God's sake, and putting it in a cold dark basement to sleep, while his own growling dog gets full reign of upstairs!

 

I think she's seen all she needs to of this man's "parenting" skills - he's a textbook Wicked Stepfather!

 

This poor little dog is clearly being traumatized and having the absolute wits scared out of him.

[Meow18]

We used to have a Beagle. They are such cuties!

 

I agree with Scout. He is abusing your dog!

 

If you are uncomfortable with how he treats your dog, then that's a problem! In no way do I think you are overreacting. I would never allow anyone to hit any one of my pets. In my opinion, it doesn't matter what dogs do, a "bad dog!" gets the point accross without physically hurting the dog.

 

Have you ever brought this up with your boyfriend? The things you described scares me. If he continues this, then you and/or your Beagle need to leave.

[itsallgrand]

Scout,

 

I agree with you that his behavior is totally unacceptable. 100%.

 

However, knowing more than a few folks who are anything but evil who have had not a clue in how to treat animals - taking their resentments out on creatures without even realizing it or lacking knowledge - I am hesitant to cast the bf in a monster role.

 

I agree that it is deeper. That's the problem.

[Jayar]

Yes, he is taking out some inner anger and frustration on your dog.

 

I am fortunate that I don't experience this with my "baby", a 140lb. 28" at the shoulders mastiff that no one in their right mind would ever try to smack or grab.

[Scout]

The things you described scares me. If he continues this, then you and/or your Beagle need to leave.

 

It scares me, too, and I wouldn't wait for a next time before I got that little dog out of there. As it is, your boyfriend now has two punching bags - and both are being kept in the basement!

[Scout]

Scout,

 

I agree with you that his behavior is totally unacceptable. 100%.

 

However, knowing more than a few folks who are anything but evil who have had not a clue in how to treat animals - taking their resentments out on creatures without even realizing it or lacking knowledge - I am hesitant to cast the bf in a monster role.

 

I agree that it is deeper. That's the problem.

 

Yes, this guy may not have a clue but the dog shouldn't have to pay for it. He's already raised one aggressive, snapping dog, and it looks like Riley is headed in that direction if he doesn't get away from this house.

 

I'd suggest the anger management, but then leave anyway and tell him he can call me when it's cured.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It sounds like both dogs need training. I wouldn't keep an animal that growled at my SO. I think you need to have a big talk. This is your child and he's abusing your child and his child is being mean to you. Its something you can do together, take both dogs and do obedience, then there will be no question as to who's dog is out of hand.

 

My cat is a crabby thing, she hates all other cats and most people, but she gets told no when she growls or strikes out at the other cats. NEVER hit an animal, not even a pop on the nose, it is a VERY bad thing to start. The collar jerking needs to stop too. You can not teach them that violence is the answer it will only make them mean.

 

Please find a local trainer fast and get both pets and the two of you enrolled.

[Meow18]

So maybe the boyfriend doesn't realize he's doing something horribly wrong, but that doesn't make it ok! That doesn't mean that this dog isn't having to deal with it!

 

The poor dog still has to pay physically for evey little mistake. Dogs aren't perfect ALL the time, they can be a handful. They will relieve themself where they shouldn't occasionally. Chewing furniture and stuff is normal for puppies and some dogs, they just need to be taught that it's wrong. But, a dog should never have to pay for their mistakes physically.

 

And your Beagle snapped at you. This obviously isn't normal behavior from your dog. It's up to you to keep this dog safe from harm!

[fnlyfrei]

My ex boyfriend...who I lived with...teased my dog until my dog nipped his finger...then he hit the dog for nipping him and threw him off my bed (this was all in front of me...) It really woke me up to his true nature...he really did not know how to treat animals OR humans. He is gone but I still have my little shih-tzu Charlie. I think I made a very wise choice too....

[the yang to the worlds yin]

Get your dog away from him! He treats his so well, but not yours? Thats ridiculous! I love my dogs more than life itself, my boyfriend never had dogs growing up, but the second one of my dogs doesn't feel well, my boyfriends right there petting them and telling him he loves them. So quite obviousely there are two very different ways of approaching a dog, and quite apparently your boyfriends doing it the wrong way.

[LONESOUL]

"Hell, yes, he's abusing your dog!

 

I'm sorry, but I almost burst into tears reading your thread. Please, I beg you...if you won't leave this man, at least find a loving and safe home for that defenseless little beagle."

 

 

I agree with Scout. 100% here. Please make sure this stops.

I had a beagle for 13 years, she was so smart, my very best friend~

they are great dogs but they have allot of energy. She needed allot of play time.

[itsallgrand]

YES, Carnelian said more eloquently what I wanted to say (and I hadn't seen the Rott comment when I was writing my message).

 

It will give a chance to help the people too - issues of dominance, leadership, allowance and assertion.

 

Watching someone with their pet is a great indicator of many things. What he is doing is dramatic - but lack of leadership and discipline is also a form of abuse.

Your dog clearly had issues that needed addressing as well.

 

When you step up to the plate in accountability, the bf will be forced to either do so as well or be exposed nakedly. You can then make a decison regarding the bf based on his actions when given a clear path to change.

There will be no excuses.

 

I do not mean to offend and I know this is a loaded topic (my pets are my babies as well).

[Jayar]

My ex boyfriend...who I lived with...teased my dog until my dog nipped his finger...then he hit the dog for nipping him and threw him off my bed (this was all in front of me...) It really woke me up to his true nature...he really did not know how to treat animals OR humans. He is gone but I still have my little shih-tzu Charlie. I think I made a very wise choice too....

 

You know, I bet Charlie knew that he was a jerk. I'd take my dog's opinion of a new man (along with my mother's) before I'd trust my own biased evaluation. In general, since men meet my dog before they meet my mom, if he doesn't like them they don't get very far with me in terms of a relationship.

[Scout]

itsallgrand, if she caught him hitting a child when he didn't think she was around to see it, and if he grabbed that vomiting child by the neck and threw it outside, would you cite her for the child's lack of discipline, calling that a form of abuse, too?

[fnlyfrei]

For true. My kids couldn't stand him either..but they talk so he never messed with them. An animal is a dumb (meaning unable to speak) creature..so we have to "listen" to their behavior. Riley is clearly giving his mom signals that he is being abused. A person that can abuse a defenseless creature...animal, child, elderly person..someone weaker or smaller...is a warning sign that there are very deep character flaws or even mental illness.

[agent1607307371]

To me this is another version of the waitress test. How a man treats you is one thing, it's how he treats others that is the real test of character.

 

Would you let your bf discipline your child? Then why let him touch your dog whom it's obviously having a bad effect on.

[Scout]

Agreed, fnlyfrei. This isn't a matter of someone not understanding how to treat animals. A person with an IQ of 40 would know you don't pick up a vomiting dog by it's collar, choking it, and then tossing it outside. This is cruelty, plain and simple, and so is the banishing to the basement, the hitting, all of it.

 

I mean, the first time I saw someone mistreating my pets would be the last time they'd ever do it. I would have nothing to do with them again.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I've had a German Shepard in the past, she was a very sweet and happy dog around me, but around my dad she was a different animal, very reserved and on edge almost. My Dad was much like this guy, he'd hit and act out without patience or care for the subject. He tried to spank me once in front of the dog and my dog snarled at him and wouldn't let him near me. I know how bad a person my dad is now, but then I needed a dog to help me figure it out.

[Scout]

Dogs know.

[SummerGirl38]

Thank you so much everyone. I just didn't know what to think. I think you are right, Riley does need some training to say the least.

 

But the bf needs to be told on no uncertain terms, hands off.

 

I hope everyone isn't getting me wrong here. He doesn't kick him or punch him upside the head or anything like that. That's a big difference and I would have already probably kicked the bf's for it.

 

I do have a choker collar on Riley, because the little was like houdini and would always somehow manage to get off of his collar and roam the neighborhood. The choker collar was only my last resort to keep him from getting hit by a car.

 

I have seen the bf pull that choker collar tight though.

 

I don't know, I just know when Riley feels pain, so do I