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Should I divorce my Husband, please read

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I know that I have posted on here how DH has been good to me but, I must confess that I was stretching the truth a little bit. Heres grits of it all: It all started on 12/29/2006 We had tickets to Vegas to party out there for the new year. My brother also was going with us. DH promised me that he would be on his best behavior b/c he has a habit of getting obnoxious. Since the weather was bad we rented a car and drove through the the 12 hr drive. My DH and brother partied in the back of the luxurey rental car. I was DD. I didnt mind. We made it into Vegas around midnight. The 2 boys wanted to party some more but I was road worn and stayed in. DH came in drunk around 5am. He wanted some action. I was tired, to tired to just say no so I gave in. We went into CA to see my hometown. I drove there and back b/c the boys were partying in the car. DH was so obnoxious to me and my brother. I had to basically tell him off like a child to quiet down. Nothing would shut him up, he just kept on like none of us mattered and he was going "balls to the walls" in partying. We got back to Vegas arounds midnight and the boys wanted to party. Again I was DD so I was tired and stayed in. New Years eve I was ready to have some fun but had some reservations about it due to DH's behavior on the proir days. We went to this club in Ceasar's Palace. DH was being a jerk. I told him that I was going to use the ladies room and would be back. I set my jacket and wallet down right next to me and before I finished drying my hands my wallet,ID, check card and money was stolen!! I ran back to the club and was not allowed in due to no ID. I asked the security to go get DH and I told him what happened. We cancelled the check card immediately and let the cash go. DH had an expired ID of mine in his wallet. During this time DH was being a total jerk to me. I did not want to go back into the club so I asked DH to get my brother and lets get some alcohol and walk the strip until midnight, it was 10pm by then. I told DH I would go back into the bathroom and ask the bathroom attendance if they found my wallet and I would wait outside the club for them. DH went back in. NOW REMEMBER he had the expired ID of me in his wallet. I waited til 1130pm. He never came back out. At 1130 I went to the cab line and the only thing on me was my room key and $10. I got a cab and was in my room by 1145. DH called me around 3am and told me how much fun he was having, I hung up on him. At 6am DH came rolling in and started yelling at me that I took off on him and that I probabley left with some guy. Needless to say I called my brother and chewed him out, he told me that DH said that I didnt want to party so I was back at the room and not to worry. He said he was sorry had he known he would've ditched DH and came and got me. So I drove us back home. On 1/8/2007 I had a surgery. During this time DH had to take some work off and take care of me, his dad (alzheimers) the kids and the house (welcome to my world). He was so mean to me. He was short tempered and would ignore me. I was literally helpless. I needed help to do anything. Yes he would help me but he did it the worst attitude. He made fun of me. During this time it was both SD's b-days(2 days apart) he would drag me out of bed to participate for their Bdays. This happened 3 days after my abdominal surgery. NOt very fun!! About 1week ago was the first time I got out of the house and was in public. We hooked up with my brother for a couple of cocktails. around 11pm I was worn out and went home DH decided to go back out and party some more. I got a call from my brother and he told me that DH had taken some of my prescribed narcotics( i'm talking like morphine based drugs) and was partying with them and so he kicked him out of his house at 3am. Again Dh came home yelling at me. DH is a button pusher. He is an extreme kind of guy. It has never bothered me until he stole from me , verbally abused me and just all around been a jerk to me. Most people we meet will only hang with us once b/c DH extreme behavior. I had hid $300 for me, I used $100 to open my own checking account. The other $200 I bought 2 pairs of fab. shoes. Next week my DR. is going to clear me for work. I have been on leave for about 8 weeks. I cant take his dad anymore, his children dont listen to me and his behavior is off the scale. As soon as I am medically cleared I have a major decision to make. I have to say DH has NEVER been this way before. This was not the man I married. I am at a very difficult cross road. I filed my taxes and I am going to receive about $6000 back, I had them direct deposit it into my new account. So the money is there if I leave. I dont know what to do any more. I dont even see him in the same way I did b/f we went to Vegas. Something inside me changed towards him. Right now I have no feelings towards him except frustration. Its almost like I dont want to be around him. Do I need time to recover from all the hurt or should I just get out b/c this might be a BIG idicator of coming behavior on his part?? I need some good loving advice. Please help me here.

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I have been engaged, and in long term, but never married. However, your husband has allot of growing up to do!! I am angry for you when I read about New Years Eve. He seems to be immature and has and alcahol problem.


I hate to be blunt, but you need to run!!


Also, for both of them to make you drive all the way!!!


Your brother needs an * * * kicking too!!!

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I am not that experianced but after reading what you have written I have a warning light go off in my head. I think you should get out. That sort of behavior is not right. He may not be the easiest person to be friends with but you should not have to deal with what I just read in your post. I think it's a huge indicator. Nobody deserves to be used and abused like that!

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Remember ladies and gents that this is from her prespective.

If what you have written is true, it looks like this guy isnt the guy for you. (i'm assuming that you didn't do any button pushing yourself.)


Now about divorcing your husband, that is your decision, you don't need us to tell you what you already know or don't know. If you believe what you have said to 100% true then your question is pretty clear.

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Here the deal. We dated 2 yrs. Then got married. He never acted like that, how can one person be one way for a couple of years and then change. I dont know what triggered it. I think I have allowed his obnoxioius behavior towards others and never made an issue of it. Now that he has turned it on me I am shocked and ashamed. We have been married 11 months, not even 1 year yet! It has put me in some deep depression b/c the man that I married is in there and I lost him some where along the way. Now I feel indifferent towards him. I am very sad about the whole thing. I am leaning towards leaving. I have to do it when the time and money is right, I do have children of my own and I need to think of thier well being as well. Thank you for the advice.

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Try talking, try counselling, find out what has triggered this. If this came out of the blue only 2 months ago...Maybe throwing a marriage away may not be the answer yet...at least not until you've tried to repair the damage.

Find out what has happen that has changed your man so much, that has changed the man you once loved & dedicated your life to. Search for the answer & try to save it before giving up yet.

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Actually I let him be wild and crazy during that weekend. I just never thought that he would turn on me. I was OK with being DD, I wanted him to have fun. He just took it a little to far for me. I have never been the victim of his behavior. He always was good to me. It took me a couple of days to get over it, but I did. I think (Im assuming,I dont know whats in his head) that since he got away with it once that I would always be there. To leave me stranded in the middle of Vegas with nothing and then forgive might have shown him that he no longer needs to try and he could get away with just about anything. I dont know.

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Are you kidding he is one of them. They love him! He is Disney Land Dad and Im the enforcer/real parent, making sure the house is clean, dinner is made, rooms get cleaned, teeth/hair gets brushed and homework is done. He does do the laundry and dishes so I have to give credit where credit is due. But like I said he and the kids are like peas in a pod.

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That's good, because if it had been less than that, my advice would have been to get away from him asap!


If his behaviour has come on over a short period of time and he is not the man you married, it's most likely that some event has occurred to bring it out in him. Has he been under any unusual stresses lately? How long has his dad been sick? Anything could have triggered it, and I think he needs to be told that it has to change/he needs to speak with someone about it.


His behaviour towards you is in no way acceptable though, cruel and unnecesaary, and it really needs to stop.

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Can I just put a basic comment on here:


He sounds like a real jerk...but just remember, the kids are the innocent party and quite often they will act out because of the emotional turmoil they feel inside...


As for divorcing him, seek counselling for yourself, and work through your feelings, preferably out of the situation for a while if it is abusive...


Sorry I dont have much energy today



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Did you say he was stealing from you? I am wondering if he has a hidden drug problem? Obviously I don't need to reiterate how abnormal is treatment of you is. And based on my limited experience with a problem husband, I would say it is bound to get worse. He sounds like he needs serious help. Maybe talk with a counselor, use all the support you can get and that is a good place to start.

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