what do you make of this?

[ncallum]

I asked a girl out a couple of months ago and she said no because she has a boyfriend.

 

However, a couple of weeks ago they split up and we've been getting on quite well (not like best buds or anything but we have a laugh together etc).

 

Anyway, today she asked if I'm going to be sending her a valentines day card? Possibly in jest I don't know. Obviously I was a bit surprised by this question and just said 'I'm sure you'll be getting thousands anyway'.

 

The thing is now, having got over the fact that it was never going to happen, I'm now at the stage where I'm spending too much time - an unhealthy amount of time you could say - thinking about her. The other thing worth noting about her is that her mood towards me is inversely proportional to the attention I give her. If I spend too much time around her, I get the cold shoulder, but if I don't speak to her for a day or so she'll be right over to talk to me.

 

Do I pass her off as an attention seeker and refuse to play her game or shall I investigate further and see if anything can happen?..... Also, any help on whether to send a Valentines Card would be much appreciates.

 

Cheers.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

"If I spend too much time around her, I get the cold shoulder, but if I don't speak to her for a day or so she'll be right over to talk to me."

 

This sounds like that old push/pull game. And that this what this is...a game. If you are not into games and want the real thing, my advise is to spend less time with her and keep your options open with other women. More times than not, a person has a very slim chance of having a successful relationship with someone whom likes the thrill of chasing, which this young lady likes to do. Send her a card if you wish but dealing with someone like her, I would not expect anything in return.

 

You deserve more.

[darkpumpkin]

In my opinion she may just be an attetion seeker. Example of this is when you ignore her she comes running and when your there all the time she needs her space. I'm sad to say that after a few of my relationships I have done the same thing to someone who actually liked me and wanted more. I wanted that attention, made me feel less alone. But the second they we giving to much up came the cold shoulder. I woudn't send her a valentine's day card. I think she is just playing on your liking for her to have attention.

[Mun]

Stop talking to her for a few days and then ask her out --when she comes over looking for attention. If she likes you she will accept the invitation...if not, don't waste your time.

 

It's a bad feeling when you find out you are just someone's ego boost...been there, done that

[MushroomGod]

These other posters are right she's messing with you. Your giving her the attention she wants ssince she just broke up with her bf. You asked her out once so she knows your interested so she's using that to make herself feel good.

 

Do what Mun says and try to ask her out one more time when she comes looking for your attention. Get your answer and drop her if you don't get the answer your looking for.