Guys are just very sensitive too!

[Goblin]

Hello guys. This goes to you girls out there too...

 

Sometimes when my gf makes a remark abt me and I try to prove my point and felt my point was not really noted I get upset. My reaction was just keep quiet or keep my words short while trying to prevent returning bad remarks abt her. I keep myself calm and smile occasionnally. I just dont want to hurt my gf coz girls are for sure emotional too no matter how much they say they arent! right girls?!

 

Anyways, it pisses me off when Im upset and all of a sudden my gf will suddenly try to be nice to me and telling me not to get upset (she seems to like it when i get upset). She tells me im the NEW AGE Sensitive Guy and easily get upset.

 

Reality check : Yes I am a sensitive guy. Thats one reason why I show alot of care for her. But I am not some wussy-punching-bag for girls. I got upset because my gf pushes the blame to me because of her indecisiveness. When I try to be practical and rational, she consistently tells me she is right!

 

Question to guys : My brothers, do you like it when u get upset abt a remark, and you react positively (controlling ur anger and staying cool and calm), your girlfriend tells you you are just being very sensitive and upset so easily?

 

Question to girls : Do you actually feel powerful when u upset ur bf?

 

 

I just dont get my gf sometimes. She appears very confident but actually indecisive.

[darkpumpkin]

Hell's no. When I upset my Bf which I can do really easily I feel horrible. I try to do anything I can to make him feel better. I mean I'm emotional but he can be to just as much. Doesn't make him a wussy-punching-bag for girls just shows he loves me enought to get upset.

[Caterina]

Its too ambiguous to decide. Some girls like to see their bf's get a rise because to them it indicates that they care.

I don't think you're new age just because you want someone to listen to you and validate you...that just makes you human.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hello Goblin,

 

I kind of get the impression that she is trying to keep the ball over in your court. Does that make sense here?

 

Jeff

[Goblin]

Hi Jeff, that makes perfect sense somehow. There was once she actually said the same thing! "The ball is on your court now..."

 

Im not some soft guy..in fact I served in an elite unit as a Sergeant in the army for 2 years here..

 

It really bothers me when I tell her that I am human too and I have feelings as well. She would go saying that its ok for her to be upset or emotional because shes a girl and I shudnt be upset because I am a man...

 

To girls : What do you mean if you ever say to your bf, "Dont be sensitive." ? Do you really care for him if you happen to say that sometimes even if youknow he doesnt like to hear that or you say that because u have higher expectations of him?

 

To guys : How do you feel when a girl tells you "Dont be sensitive!" and how do you react to it?

 

Your opinions are much appreciated.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It sounds like she has a unrealistic measure of emotion. Gender doesn't negate natural emotions, if someone says a hurtful remark, be they female or male, they have no right to tell you not to get upset.

 

I would never tell my boyfriend "don't be sensitive" because to me that's like saying don't be yourself.

 

The question is do you want to stay with someone who has a tilted view on gender roles and will probably continue to discount your feelings because of their expectations.

[Jeffrey2095]

Hi again Goblin,

 

I would agree with Carnelianbutterfly in that you should never feel that your sensitivity is a detrement... (Also, Caterina and Darkpumpkin too, good advice all around. )

 

I'm a veteran aswell, and I think bootcamp might have instilled a little "sensitivity" somehow eh? lol (btw, check out the "Boot camp blues" thread in Off-topic by 4anOnymOus. We could have a bit of fun over there.)

 

If I were a sensitive chap like you... (I am)... I guess I couldn't help being a little umm..."insensed". (Just a little.)

 

Maybe a nice earnest heart to heart with her could clear this whole thing up for you both.

 

Good luck buddy, nice to meet another vet. And, I think things can be worked out for you guys.

 

Jeff

[Goblin]

Thanks Jeff and Butterfly for ur advice.

 

First off, my gf is a good girl. Its just that she has this idea of the perfect man in her mind I feel. Chivalrous, confident, tough, gets things done and never get upset. It sounds like some hero in the movies to me

 

Carnelian the "dont be sensitive = dont be yourself" line makes alot of sense to me. Makes me think differently. I will next time when she makes fun of me or get the kick of saying dont be upset and dont be sensitive i shud tell her abt being myself.

 

I guess we just clash in communication, shes proving her point, im proving mine but we never seem to agree most of the times haha. but what Carnelian mentions abt gender and measure of emotion is right. Men can be equally upset like women too but both also deserve a sincere honest support.

 

Hey Jeff, thanks for the suggestion