Ronbo3g Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 Hi All, I am new to this forum, but found it very interesting and decided to join and share some of my thoughts and get some feed back on my view point. All good dialogue starts with a premise and goes from there. After have lived almost half a century and having been in several LTR that have failed I wanted to post my thoughts on what I have observed in my friends and co-workers relationships and mine. Current research and statistics show that in the United States; 44% of marriages end in Divorce, and that Married people are happier then single, but that number drops when you add in kids. What does this all mean? Also, About 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in some marriage, "Monogamy Myth", Therapist Peggy Vaugn Well, in my pseudo research of talking with my married and single friends, but also from just people watching in the office and airports, planes, etc., I have come to an interesting conclusion. Most people I run accross are not happy in their relationships, maybe not walk out the door unhappy, but unhappy non the less. The main causes I see out there are: Once in a relationship both men and women let them selves go. By this I see a large percentage that have neglected personal grooming (weight, skin care, hair, etc) who dress like slobs, and also act that way. Sweats may be ok in the house (I think not, only wear if you are at the gym) but you should never leave the house like that. Men dressed in any kind of clothing with words on it, same for women in stretch pants, or sneakers. All you have to do is think back to when you had been dating and how you dressed and groomed and then look in the mirror and ask yourself, would I date the person in the mirror? Second, women once they have kids place them first, then the husband distant second or even third behind the other things in life. What’s up with this! You ignore your supposed life partner, have not time for him, do everything for the kids first, and then wonder why he had an affair. Wake up, kids are nice, but I think we need to change the order of priority and ensure you make time for yourselves first, time for sex, talking, dating. The kids will survive with a babysitter, or even god forbid, only doing 4 sports instead of 6. Last one I will comment on hear today is communications – it seems by year 3 men just listen and women dictate. I have seen so many men afraid to have a pair. And women, you married this guy because he was interesting, unique, and loving. Why or why that once we are married you want us to stop being the person we where and try and change us. I see so many men afraid to do anything, or they need to get permission, come on, you would think we are all idiots that cannot think and do things on our own. But men, this also means you must communicate, not dictate what your plans are. Women, we are not dolts, but a majority seem to be treated that way, and men, women are not household servants, so do laundry, clean the house, and cook. This should be a shared life, not hell. So I will be interested to see the comments on this, and other peoples observations on what is going on. Ron Quote Link to comment
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