She won`t give an obvious sign!

[ckman2]

Hi everyone,

 

I`ve been 'getting together' (meeting for fun activities) with this girl for 4 months now (8 occasions) and I have no idea if I should ask her out / ask her out on an official date - don't even know if she thinks what we are doing is dating.

 

So, yes, I am confused. I want to ask her out on a date. I like her but my feelings are only 7/10 strong for her (I usually don't have stronger feelings until I get to know a person better - usually when I am in a relationship). I haven't got any obvious bad signs - (ignoring me, etc.). I haven't got any super good signs that she likes me (where's the effort on her part). Can't tell if she is just trying to have me as a friend or wanting to go out with me - she doesn't make the effort on her part - mostly because she has an extremely busy schedule.

 

So, yes, the point. No signs from her either way, she isn't dating anyone, I'm rusty at dating/relationships since I haven't been in one for 18 months.

 

How do I tell if she wants me to ask her out? What signs do I look for?

[friscodj]

Hey CK-

 

I bet she is sensing your "7/10" level of feelings and this is coming accross in your behavior towards her. It is likely she feels nearly the same for you as you do for her...that's my guess...

 

But my guess or that of anyone else means nothing. You say you want to ask her out on a date so do it. A good sign would be her saying "Yes" to you...

 

A common mistake is to get ahead of yourself here. This tends to generate confusion, doubt, and subsequently pressure which can be constricting towards conveyance of your true nature, character, and pursuit of your intentions here.

 

So do that, ask her out, firm up some plans, and go from there...one step at a time here...

[ckman2]

Cool.

 

I'm going to muster up the courage to ask her out on an 'official' date. At least then I can get my barrings. And if she doesn't want anything more serious that a friendship, that sucks but I can live and I won't have to spend more time throwing the thought around in my mind anymore. Man, understanding signs from girls is tough :S

 

Anyway, Thanks dude - you rock.

[ckman2]

Another question:

 

This ones for those of you who have been in "long distance relationships" or "busy schedule" relationships.

 

What is the minimum seeing time to make a relationship work. The girl I'm interested in has a crazy schedule and so do I - If I go out with her, I might only be able to see her every 2 or 3 weeks. Do relationships like this work? Or, does one need more continuous contact?