drum4god Posted February 8, 2007 Share Posted February 8, 2007 My girlfriend of a year broke up with me the day after Christmas. For the most part I have been NC. I see her in church every Sunday, and had small talk at a party a month ago. I am sure many have read my story, but for the most part she was hot and cold. She actually broke up with me 2 times before and came back both times. The first time was after 9 weeks of NC, and the other time it was the next day. She was hot and cold, and wasn't sure about her feelings. She would love me one day, and then she wouldn't. It was pure torture. Anyway, she broke up with me Christmas. She told me she wanted in her head, and didn't feel it in her heart. She then said you are not the man for me. Its crushed me, but it wasn't unexpected. I took it like a man, and told her I had to respect her decision. I was O.K the first week, but then I saw her at a party and Its been hard ever since. I was strong at the party, and ironically she was crying most of the night (according to the host). She was hurting bad, but it was probably more because she hurt me. But who knows. So now its been 42 days since the break, and I can't get her out of my head. Its driving me nuts. I wake up, she is on my mind. I go to work, she is on my mind. I work out, she is on my mind. I watch TV, something will remind me of her. I play a gig with my band, I am thinking I wish she was here. I listen to music, I think of her. I go to church to get closer to God, and pray, she is there. She is like glue in my mind, its not good. I look strong on the outside, and I can even encourge people on this board, but inside I'm really struggling. I have been great with NC, and keeping myself busy, but its seems like subconsiously I doing things to make myself better for her. I don't want that. I go to the gym, and I am thinking my improved body with impress her. I just signed up for Salsa lessons, and though I always wanted to learn, perhaps there is a part of me that wants to impress her (she is Spanish, and a great dancer). I don't know, is this normal. It is kind of obsessive, and I want it to stop. Quote Link to comment
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