Why do I feel Jealous?

[ajax]

Awhile back my wife got back in touch with some old HS friends, one was a past boyfriend. As some who read my past posts know it was a huge drama filled nightmare where I was convinced she was having an emotional affair/going to cheat. Went through the typical leave her responses, yada yada.

 

Turns out, they are just friends, she set him up with her friend, they are now dating etc. She maybe talks to him once every 2-3 weeks and I assume is more than likely about how he and her friend are doing.

 

So I've gotten to a point where I know she isn't cheating, isn't going to him for something I am not giving her, etc. My question is -- why does it still bother me when she talks to him?

 

Can anyone recommend some good books or online reading material that might help me deal with these feels like are lurking in my head. I know I shouldn't feel these feelings, and please don't get me wrong its not a crushing feeling of jealousy that is consuming me, its just a nagging itch at the back of my mind that I touch upon from time to time.

 

Should I say invite her friend and him up and go out as couples? Maybe that would help me not see him as a threat. Appreciate the feedback.

[Locke2121]

She's your woman....to think that she may have been any others is simply a natural response. You can try the double dating. Seeing him firmly ensconced in a relationship of his own might help you.

 

Also reverse it, how might she feel if you every mention old flames?

[Day_Walker]

I say that some kind of meeting needs to happen, the couples date idea is good. You are building this guy up in your head and you need to meet him in order to calm yourself down. You have to think rationally and realize that you have nothing to fear.

[heloladies21]

You do your self a disservice by not telling the whole story of how your wife will do things behind your back and mislead you in certain situations. This all points to a fundamental flaw in the relationship. In some cases it's just the insecurities of the guy that cause all the problems, but in your case you should feel insecure because it's well founded. I still say that there are big problems that are being swept under the rug and this will lead to everything blowing up in a messy break up.

[confused25]

Yeah I think it's pretty normal to feel paranoid about the situation. If I were you I'd prolly feel uneasy about it too. I think inviting them over for dinner and hang out as a group is a good idea. Maybe you'll start to like him once you get to know him better.