Second Guessing Myself

[RegallyBlonde]

So I've been single for close to a year and a half now and different thoughts have been running through my mind like...

 

'What do I have to offer someone?'

 

'Am I not trying hard enough to meet someone?'

 

and

 

'Am I trying too hard?'

 

There are times when I look back at the situation I'm in and know there's a reason for it and that I should learn and experience as much as I can being single. There are times when I think about how often I want to meet that special someone so much that it can be a "crutch" and an excuse for me not to grow individually.

 

Well the thing is, I think too much sometimes.

 

The longer I'm single, the harder it seems to remember what my desirable traits are. I really am second guessing myself, but it's very difficult to get out of that mindset.

 

So my question is this: What can I do to stop second guessing myself when it comes to dating and relationships?

[thlst3]

RB,

 

I totally can relate with you. It's been a while for me since I started dating again.

 

It's really tough out 'there'. I'm constantly wondering and questioning everything I do.

 

What you say? How to act? Where to go? What to do?

 

'What do I have to offer someone?'

- you have alot to offer. you did before and you have more now.

 

'Am I not trying hard enough to meet someone?'

- it'll just happen. just be proactive and be more open when you're out.

 

What can I do to stop second guessing myself when it comes to dating and relationships?

- trial and error. just go out and have fun. it's like riding a bike. the first time, you'll fall and get hurt. then you'll slowly get the hang of it again. who know's... the first guy/date could be a success or be a disaster. you'll learn from the experience.

 

I'm currently wondering the same thing... should i call her the next day? should i email or txt?

 

I second guess everything I'm doing because it's been so long... but i'm slowly learning that I have alot to offer and it's fun and exciting to date again. try not to compare your date to your previous ex.

 

good luck and relax.

[robowarrior]

Rediculous, look at it more black and white. There's always a gray area but that's usually not worth regarding.

 

Its all what you want.

 

-do i want to be in a relationship? Yes or No.

 

No = work further on personal growth

Yes = get into a relationship.

 

Obviously you want to be in a relationship otherwhise the thought of a relationship wouldn't have crossed your mind, thus you should do more effort to get into one, by introducing yourself more, going to parties along with friends, get to know people, get drunk have fun and meet a partner that you like. Or in other words, don't be your own worst enemy in preventing yourself from what you want to gain from life.