i need help...mixed feelings//traumatized and i need all the advice i can get :]

[chickabonita1001]

Ok I need advice on certain situatuons..obviously. the story is pretty long but i need all the advice i can get. im like a sponge so i need reassurance and what not.

 

so senior year in high school, my best friend wanted to hook me up with her then boyfriends friend. She said he was nice, cute, all the good stuff! Of course I was intrigued considering I hadnt had a boyfriend in over a year. Shes like "lets all go out and you can meet him" My parents are kinda strict but they ALWAYS have to know where im going, who im going with, the numbers, the whole deal! So i couldnt say that she was trying to hook me up with a friend, because my parents at the time didnt want me having a boyfriend. So i postponed the hang out sesh, and i ended up getting his number. He was really sweet, he was just my type! Eventhough I talked to him over the phone i felt this connection. we exchanged emails and started chatting online, sending pics (not anything bad) just pics with family stuff like that. I started to realize that i was starting to like him. Now my previous relationship things went too fast, so i decided nows a time to take things slow, get to know the guy well see what his intentions are and proceed to develop a better relationship with him. So we chat he ends up leaving in december for xmas to new york, and hed send me emails and texts saying cute things i miss you princess. I guess you can say that im not really used to all that mushy stuff so i wouldnt really respond when hed make remarks like that. He eneded up telling me that i was really hard because i wouldnt tell him how i felt, and it was only because i wanted to take things slow. so we kept talking up until febuary when i finally met him face to face, and when i met him it finally hit me that i do actually like him and that id like to be something more. he was kinda akward and not really talking to me the day we finally met. i brushed it off and texted him saying that id like to hang out with him again and what not. he never responded. he would go online and i would instant message him and he would not answer me. it was up until the point that i would cry cause i figured that i must've done something wrong. valentines day approaches and he finally instant messages me back and says IM LEAVING TO ECUADOR.IM GOING BACK HOME (he was a foreign exchange student) when he said that it basically tore my heart into tiny pieces, i felt like the whole world was crashing down on me. we hung out at his going away party and we had our first kiss and last kiss and he told me he was gonna stay and whatnot..all these lies cause the next day my best friend told me that he was lying to me. its been almost a year and i have not talked to him, i sent him a really nice email and never got a response. i heard he got back togehter with his ex gf. idk if it was love or lust but i really fell for that guy, ive never felt that way for a person, all the sweet talking he would do and i fell for it. he was just a lyer looking for fun. and thank God that i didnt do anything with this boy because i would never be able to forgive myself.

 

so now im kinda stuck. i went trhough this whole depression era trying to get over him and i feel like i have gotten over him but heres where i need help.

 

im a freshman now in college, and theres this boy in my reading class, and i think im starting to develope feelings for him...just a crush though. hes nice totally not my type yet im attracted to him. hes really nice and i get all bubbly when he talks to me. (I HAVENT FELT THIS WAY SINCE LAST YEAR WITH THAT BOY) first daywe started talking he was asking me questions that the professor had already answered! found that kinda weird. and my friend in class says that we would look at me and his eyes would "sparkle" we have this thing that when we laugh we look at each other...haha corny. and when we look at each other its in the eyes. we park by each other and what not and i try walking with him but hes either always on his cellphone or behind me or in front of me..i never have the chance to catch up or slow down now this has happened twice where im like 10 feet behind him and he opens the door for me but he actually looks at me and not holds the door while having his back towards me. so that happened again today but this time we talked! he came up to me (since we parkd the same way) and this is the convo we had :

ok so we were walking together and hes like.."are you done for the day" im like "yea i only have one class today" hes like "oh thats cool" i said "yea: thennnnn he was like "the teachers kinda hard" im like "yea she is!, shes kinda mean, she picks on people thats why when she asks me questions about the hw i always make sure they're right" hes like "yea, your shy, huh" i said "yea at first but once i start talking to you i open up more: then he was like.. she moved me up all the way in the front" i was like.."i know, i hope she doesnt move me" hes like.."hahaha your next!!" im like "noo, i hope not" then we started talking about parking...hes like "where'd you park?" i said "over there, you?" "over there im like "yea i dont even try to look for parking by the counseling because theres never any space opne" hes like yea..i said "well early in the morning there is, i go to class at 7 so there plenty of parking" hes like''essh thats too early" im like "i know i have to wake up like at 530" hes like "where do you live?" i said "PTWON" hes like "ohh i live in LTOWN then we got to his car and we sadly walked away and he was like.."well ok iill see you on monday" im like ok bye..hes like "bye"

 

so that was the convo and now this is where i need the advice.i dont know if he as a gf and i really am starting to like him and whatnot but i know i shouldnt because for one i dont know if he has a gf and i dont want to get hurt again like that boy hurt me. like i said i havent felt this way in so long its unbelievable. i just dont want to get hurt again and im traumatized that history will repeat iself. see i have no luck when it comes to boys so i wouldnt be surprised if he has a gf. I DONT KNOW WAHT TO DO!! i dont know if he likes me or idk anything anymore.i NEED ADVICE...please help me!!!!!!!!!!!

[DreamerPL7]

Haha that sounds like he shy convo you have with the person your crushing on. The awkward one about w/e is on your mind. I think he may have feelings for you but you need to find out if he has a girlfriend or you can get really hurt then go for it he seems like he likes you talk to someone he knows tell them to ask him, talk to some of your friends get some dirt and just start talking to the guy.

[chickabonita1001]

see he doesnt have any friends in that class. i mean he talks to people but i never really seen him have a full on conversation with a classmate, only with me but thats only cause we park by each other. haha idk i only see him mondays and wednesdays so ill definetly be sly about it and ask him if he has a gf. my friend in the class says that he looks at me and whatnot. but i just dont want to get my hopes up, im scared of having my heart broken again for the second time. so im trying not to get my hopes up to high.