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Second Chance for Dumpees


tribecagirl
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Hi All!

 

After reading so much about doing NC, how many of you had an ex come back to you after they've seen that you've become a different, albeit, happier person again after they've been out of your life for a while or a long time?

 

I'm asking because my friend, Julie, is going thru this. We were out recently and we saw her ex at a lounge we like to go to. She has not seen this guy or talked to him in five years. She was totally lost for a while after they broke up. She did all the pining and whining and crying when they broke up, but then she finally employed the NC method and she got him out of her system for good. She's a much better person and a lot of fun to be around. When we saw her ex, it was a big surprise to both of us. She knew that she would never hear from him again and she had totally moved on. Anyway, they hugged like old friends when they saw each other and we all talked for a long time that night.

 

Anyway, she called me the other day and said that he'd been in contact with her. They did exhange phone numbers, but she said she never had intentions of really calling. She just did it as a polite gesture. This is true. She has a nice guy that she is seeing. And she talks about Dave constantly! Anyway, Julie said that her ex, Paul, has called her once a day since she's seen him. She said the conversations are light and very on the surface, but she can tell that there are some other things he wants to say, but she quickly tells him that she needs to go or that she's busy.

 

I told her not to be surprised if he suggests that they talk serious at some point. But she says that she is totally over Paul and that things would never be the same between them, so she could care less about their past. But I think whatever he wants to say to her, is piquing her curiosity, at least mine anyway! She said that she doesn't mind being friends with him, though. But that's it. She LOVES her Dave!

 

I'll have to keep everyone posted on this "developing story," but has some thing like this ever happened to anyone here?

 

Let's talk!

 

Tribecagirl

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This is my second break up with the same person. I did the begging and whinning, but at this point i've accepted it and started focusing on myself. I haven't moved on, because at this point im not ready for a relastionship, and knowing the relastionship i had, and how she is, that this will work itself out in a few months...atleast enough to know where we stand. Which i need that time anyways.

 

Not sure on the stats, but i would guess that 50% of break ups have to do with 1-2 big issues. Usually from both people. Often times my ex said "is love enough" i thought so..she didnt. You know what, she was right. Thing is, if people love eachother, and there is a big problem, solving that problem and showing them THROUGH ACTIONS, not telling them, but through actions, there is a great chance they will end up together. The other type of course is when one party doesn't love the other person, or wants to go play in the waters of free sex. Then no.

 

My best example is that im in AA. I've seen 100's and 100's of couples and familys get back together AFTER the person got sober, and worked on themselfs. It took them a bit, but when everyone sees the new "you" it's a big thing.

 

The final thing i will say is this. If a girl is in her room crying over you, knows this is for the best, there also wishing that whatever made it not work (if they know) would fix itself. Thus they keep a tiny string of hope. As long as you don't make them feel stupid for holding on to it, things have a good way of working. Very rarely are people just done. When they are it's almost always because they have laundry lists of differnt problems, they broke up late, and atleast one party didnt want to focus on themselfs or there problems.

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Technically the Love of my life Rachel came back 3 times. So indeed it does happen now that was over the course of 10 years together from first breakup till last time together but I am working on writing that story so everyone can see my perspective.

 

Blessings

 

Bri

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