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Question for the guys


IntoTheFire
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I've been wondering this all day. Guys, picture the setting. You and your semi long term/long term girlfriend are chilling on the couch, watching tv, and there's a girl-on-girl scene on the screen. She makes a comment to the effect of "I've done that before with a girl", basically meaning she'd had sex with a girl before. Not while she was with you or anything, in the past.

 

What do you reckon your reaction would be? Would you feel sick? Turned on? Indifferent? Scared? Shocked? Happy? Intrigued?

 

 

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WOW I know how I would react but, not every guy is like me. I would be totally turned on and you would have gotten my attention. I would be asking all kinds of questions as to try and put a mental picture in my head as to what that would look like if I were there.

 

Sorry guys are visual creatures and we cannot help it.

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What do you reckon your reaction would be? Would you feel sick? Turned on? Indifferent? Scared? Shocked? Happy? Intrigued?

 

I think a normal reaction would be that you would feel a multitude of emotions all at the same time. When something is sprung on you like that unexpectedly then it is hard to behave in the classic guy fashion of just being turned on. I would expect most mens reaction to be shocked and disappointed. Later on once he has had a chance to process the information I would expect him to have a more reasoned feeling based on how he feels about girl on girl action.

 

Personally I would be intrigued and would probably as follow up question because I would want to inquire about the activity.

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I've had this happen, sorta, and all that really went through my mind was "This is a cool chick."

 

Some guys are threatened by a girl who was had sex with a woman before, I'm not sure why. I think it means she is sexually aware and is willing to experiment. That's a win-win.

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if we were dating for awhile and i HADNT figured that out... I would be a little confused....

 

 

Well, I'm not saying this hypothetical girlfriend was in some huge, love filled relationship with a girl. Maybe she was 18 and got drunk and had sex with a friend in college or something. Surely a small thing like that isn't that easy to figure out?

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I think my first reaction would be confusion and a little nervous. I would want to know more about the event, what it meant to my GF, and what she saw as her current and sexual orientation. I consider myself a pretty open person and I would not be so much judgmental as just wondering how (if at all this would effect the current relationship).

 

Personally I cannot imagine being turned on by any of my partners past lovers (male or female). Maybe it is just my own insecurities, but I would always wonder a little how I really stacked up.

 

Now if it was a serious relationship that had been going on for a while, I might be hurt that I was just now finding this out.

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I've been wondering this all day. Guys, picture the setting. You and your semi long term/long term girlfriend are chilling on the couch, watching tv, and there's a girl-on-girl scene on the screen. She makes a comment to the effect of "I've done that before with a girl", basically meaning she'd had sex with a girl before. Not while she was with you or anything, in the past.

 

What do you reckon your reaction would be? Would you feel sick? Turned on? Indifferent? Scared? Shocked? Happy? Intrigued?

 

 

 

I like that!! That would turn me on

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I've been wondering this all day. Guys, picture the setting. You and your semi long term/long term girlfriend are chilling on the couch, watching tv, and there's a girl-on-girl scene on the screen. She makes a comment to the effect of "I've done that before with a girl", basically meaning she'd had sex with a girl before. Not while she was with you or anything, in the past.

 

What do you reckon your reaction would be? Would you feel sick? Turned on? Indifferent? Scared? Shocked? Happy? Intrigued?

 

 

 

I would leave and break up with her the next day I'm pretty sure. Sexual history is something I learn within the first 2 weeks or she is history. And if it turns out that someone lied or withheld, then she doesn't deserve to be with me.

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My partner has slept with women in the past. To me it is just what she was into at the time. I don't think it is any big deal. Nor does it mean she would be into a threesome. She has the same value of monogamy as women I have been with that have not slept with other women.

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I think sexual history aside (for some, like me, it's very important) but I think the fact that someone kept things hidden is the bigger issue. Ask any woman, if the guy she was with had sex with men before her and see if she cares. I would say almost every single one of them would.

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I don't consider myself entitled to the details of my partner's past relationships at all. In fact, I've yet to be with someone who cares about my past partners beyond the basics.

 

Yes. If they want to tell you and you want to hear that's fine. If they don't want to tell you it is their prerogative not your entitlement.

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Yes. If they want to tell you and you want to hear that's fine. If they don't want to tell you it is their prerogative not your entitlement.

 

As Dako said, in today's age with all the diseases out there, it's best to know. Getting tested isn't a bad idea either.

 

I don't think it's wrong to want to know your partner's history. In fact everything about them. What if they turned psycho, was a cheater etc.. ALL Important info.

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I think its somewhere between the two extremes

 

Partners dont need to know EVERYTHING... but they probably should be privvy to information about your past that may explain why you act a certain way in the present.

 

IE: My bf doesnt know how many men I have slept with (which is fine, i know I am sti free) but he does know about my history of abuse (no matter how humiliating it may be) becuase then he can understand why sometimes I freak out a little.

 

its up to the individuals discretion.

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Yes. If they want to tell you and you want to hear that's fine. If they don't want to tell you it is their prerogative not your entitlement.

 

I like to know because I just want to know who I am with. It tells me a lot of info. If she has never had a relationship last over 1 month because she becomes psycho, abusive or too clingy, it's something I want to know. Just an example.

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I don't think it's wrong to want to know your partner's history.

 

I don't think it is wrong either. Just that it is not an entitlement to know. If it is STD's you are worried about, get tested. Knowing someone's history is not going to tell you whether they have an STD or not.

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I don't think it is wrong either. Just that it is not an entitlement to know. If it is STD's you are worried about, get tested. Knowing someone's history is not going to tell you whether they have an STD or not.

 

I definitely don't think it's wrong. I guess it comes to personal opinion. There are things I think I am entitled to know like:

a) How many partners

b) How many of them were one night stands/versus relationships

c) why broke up

d) past drug use

e) ever pregnant (has kids or abortions)

f) ever abused

g) arrested lol.

 

and so forth. For me, it's part of knowing a person and many of this stuff shapes how I see them and what kind of person they are.

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Yeah well if that sort of stuff is something you have to know then that becomes one of your values. If someone doesn't want to give that detail out, don't date them.

 

Again I'll say i don't think it's wrong to know, it is just not an entitlement.

 

So if someone doesn't want to give all that detail, and I wouldn't until I was in a relationship and trusted the person, don't date them.

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