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Calling off a date


Anathema001
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Ok so since a week i asked some advice about different things on this forum and I must say most advice was a great help for me and I wanted to thank to people of ENA.

 

So to resume short what happened

 

-I went on a date with a girl i know from work, we had a great time but nothing happened yet.

-We said we would date again, but she said it only be ok this saturday ... that meas 2 weeks after the first one.

-She became distant in her ¸messages, no more flirting like she used too. Its always me who call/message her first.

- I THINK she is dating someone else aswel but am not quiet sure.

 

From the advice i took, i am 90% sure she isnt interested anymore in me but since she didnt called off the date MAYBE she still is however maybe she also want things to end in silence.

 

So I will call her and this is what am going to say : "I noticed last week u became more distant toward me then before, maybe because of sonething I did or said ?. That made me ask myself the question if u really had the need to date me ?"

 

I ask her this because I dont want to get involved in something heartbreaking.

If she wants to date me I think she should make it more clear toward me. I aint selfish but I can tell u that in those 2 weeks I missed other occasions with other girls ( I dont date different people at the same time ).

And I dont think I get the attention I diserve IF she likes me. I do like her but it is like I get nothng in return.

 

Should I tell her what i wrote above or is it a bad idea ?

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When I'm unsure if I like a guy after the first date I will make the next date a few weeks later. Give's me time to think about it because I didn't feel anything click the first time but I always give a second or even third chance. She may not have felt what she thought she would have but isnt' going to totally rule you out. Which sounds harsh but sometimes it's not an automatic thing. Thing is the more space you give her the more you will find out just how interested she is in you.

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I would like a guy to be honest with me like that. To be honest with you if i like someone i rather have the guy contact me i guess it's because i fear rejection.

 

Maybe you should see how she reacts to you at work first. Have you seen her lately?

 

I saw her at work 1 week after our first date but since we have only small breaks we didnt had alot of time to talk.

 

To me she seemed pretty cold since she didnt talked about our last date.

She just confirmed she wanted to go out saturday again but she sounded uncertain to me :S

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When I'm unsure if I like a guy after the first date I will make the next date a few weeks later. Give's me time to think about it because I didn't feel anything click the first time but I always give a second or even third chance. She may not have felt what she thought she would have but isnt' going to totally rule you out. Which sounds harsh but sometimes it's not an automatic thing. Thing is the more space you give her the more you will find out just how interested she is in you.

 

That sounds interesting ... so maybe I shouldnt tell her what i said now to give her space ?

 

My question is how am I supposed to react ? I seek some kind of confirmation because she makes me very confused

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Wow, I'm so confused because you said in another thread that you were dating someone. To me, that means you have a girlfriend (or something close). But now I find out that you only went on one date with her. I think it's a European thing because it doesn't make any sense to me. I also don't understand why you passed up dates with other girls in those two weeks. To me, it seems that you are free to go out with other people until you're exclusive. I'm just utterly confused by the whole set-up.

 

There was a guy from France in my class 2 years ago. We would sometimes chat and one day he invited me and another guy from class to a party at his house. At the party, I kissed the French boy. After that we continued to talk at school, but never went out again. Anyway, he added me to his Facebook page and this is what he wrote about how we know each other: "We took a class together and we used to date but no longer speak to each other". That seems so bizarre to me. You Europeans have a whole different set of rules!

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Just see how this weekend goes and maybe you can get to the bottom of this. I'm sure she would have made an excuse if she didn't want to meet you. Maybe she is shy. I really hope it works for you. x

 

Ok I will do that but anyway ... I will call her back in a moment to give her details to where we gonna dinner this saturday ... found a cool resto in town !Is there something I could tell her more maybe ?

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We do have other rules indeed.

But to clarify things : the girl I was dating was the one I am talking about now.

We arent together ( doh ) but whats confusing with that ?

Maybe I explained myself bad in my ther topic .

 

About the other girls, yes i passed on other dates but that just me. If I try to be confident with someone I cant do the same with someone else. Yes I aint involved with the girl yet and meybe it will never be something but hey, in the end there is only one that I will truly love and dont want to play around with others ... she came first so she gets my friendship first !

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