i need u ppl's help

[sweethurt]

hi all who read this post,

lately i have been trying very hard to come out of the depression i had faced for a long time, which is pretty hard, given the lot of baggage to unload, and lot of ppl to leave behind.. or push behind, whatever it is..

But I seem to be slipping bad now, so here I am.. the place I trust the most these days for help and relief...

I started with my social life, so lately I have been really trying to make new friends.. but what i observed was that i could sometimes make friends pretty quickly, sometimes i take time, but ppl seem to drift away from me very quickly, ignore me or start hurting my pride and make fun of me like previous friends did.. may be i choose the wrong ppl or may be i am wrong...

its like i try to play a different tape and the same song plays each time.

 

and as the new friendship seems to fall apart, it seems i go totally out of tune with this social attempt i am making, and recede in my depression... thats the only place i find a reason for the failure i am..

but then, when i shake my head and try to look logically at the problem i am creating, i find that ppl sometimes dont find me a very good company, in terms that i am NOT COOL, not so funny or popular.

i want to bring some nice ppl in my life, but i think i have to be that cool-funny first...

so how do i do that, how do i become that guy who has lot of love and friends; after having craved for it all his life, until he conscioulsy chased it but faltered every single time.. until he finally found it

 

thanks in advance, and sorry for that rambling...

[Lboogie23]

I don't think you should be any body that you are not. Meaning don't change who you are for what you think people want you to be.

Not everyone is popular, not everyone can be the life of the party. If everyone was, think how boring this world would be. I was never one of the popular ones growing up. 'And looking back on it, i'm glad that i wasn't.

Just be you. Don't focus on quantity of friends , but quality.

If you find one friend that appreciates you and is a true friend than thats greater than 100 pretend friends or people who are jsut going to dump you later.

I say look for a friend in places that hold your interest, so you will have common interests. Dont stress it, and don't force it. You will make friends jsut by being who you are. Just remember, we all have something to offer.

[darkpumpkin]

I was going to write somethinge else but then I re-read your post. Fact is you have to be the fun loving guy by yourself. When your alone you have to feel that you are the cool guy who may not have a lot of friends but hey you still like your life and yourself. Everyone gets depressed, everyone falls. Some more then others (I do). I go through phases. At one point I can have many friends, be cool and popular. The person everyone wants to be around. And then boom it's like the floor gives away and everyone seemed to drifted away without me knowing it. It's a hard way to fall but I have to remember I am happy with me. I can enjoy my company.

[sweethurt]

I don't think you should be any body that you are not. Meaning don't change who you are for what you think people want you to be.

 

i tried being myself for a while, but didn't work out, people wont put up with me on a regular basis... so i was wondering if its affect of my past issues on my personality, or lack of something completely. i start to feel i am not fit for outdoors..not go-outable...then will come again the same old feelings that will throw me back in my shell of depression .. so i want opinions of a lot of people how to go about it, CREATING my life from scratch, i have no self esteem left, no traces left after past years, and i am ready to hear if i have to change everything i am if it has to be.

[sweethurt]

I was going to write somethinge else but then I re-read your post.

thanks dear pumpkin, u read that rambling twice!!

Fact is you have to be the fun loving guy by yourself

how?? that may be the most important thing i need to learn.. when i see myself in mirror, i wish mirrors didn't exist, because i don't just see how i am, i see who i am along with that, all my past baggage seems to bundle me down, and history starts to replay..