Asking for her hand

[cblack21]

OK, my girlfriend and I have talked a good bit about marriage and we're both sure it's what we want. It's one of the many situations were we both knew in the first month and here it is a year later and we can't wait. I bought an absolutely amazing ring and I've got a really great plan for proposing, I'm more wondering about the best way to ask for her dad's approval. I'm thinking about asking him to lunch on friday but I'm not really sure how to bring something like that up. Should I ask right off the bat or lead up to it? Or is lunch a bad idea?

[Jetta]

I think it's a wonderful idea. Good luck!

[FrancisHouseman]

OOh your message just made me feel happy. How lovely for you both. I think its a lovely idea to take him to lunch and ask him. Very proper and very romantic. What a lucky girl!

 

congrats : )

[chantal]

Do you and her father get along well?

either way this is a really good idea!!! respect from her parents and brownie points for you from your lazy!

great idea!!!!! ask her father and her mother. Parents will find that so Mature and serious!!!

GOOD LUCK

[cblack21]

Yeah... I'm not so much going to ask her mom. Her dad understands that she's 23 and growing up. Her mom is pissed off because we spend so much time together. Her parents are separated and the mom is lonely, my g/f moved home after college and her mom expected them to be best friends and spend all their time together... I kind of messed up that plan. Her mom resently told me that I'm the cause of all their problems and arguments. Should I really give someone like that the opportunity to be a b*tch to me yet again? We both know that she isn't going to take the engagement well but we've also decided that our future is for us to decide, not her. If her mom has her way, she'll be in her 40's living at home with no life watching reality TV with her mom... selfish. Her dad is very supportive of all of her choices and always considerate to me and I give him the same respect in return.

[VeganBohemian]

HAHAHAA. Her mom is exactly like mine! And her dad is like mine too. My boyfriend totally messed up her plans.

 

I think you should ask both of them probably...it may make her mom more comfortable with you. I don't know her though...but it sounds as though perhaps you should sit her down and explain that by her daughter marrying you, she won't be losing her daughter. That may be one of her fears.

[Dilly]

I love the idea that you are going to ask the dad for his daughter's hand. My ex-husband did this and my dad was so appreciative of that. My parents actually were extremely surprized by the gesture and while taken off-guard, they were pleasantly pleased by his gentle approach. The lunch may give a hint as to your intentions.

[cblack21]

Yeah, I called and asked him about lunch and he sounded really excited. I took that as a good sign because she told him about a month ago that I'll probably ask at some point. But when I told her that he sounded excited about lunch, she pointed out that he really likes to eat

[Mrs Elliott Smith]

Lunch sounds like a good idea. But, don't just casually ask him to go to lunch, and then throw it at him while you're both there. If I were you, I'd just tell him "I was thinking that it'd be nice if we can grab lunch this week, I'd like to talk to you about something important."

 

I hope you're paying . . . LOL kidding.

 

Good luck, and congrats in advance.