nychick Posted February 7, 2007 Share Posted February 7, 2007 after browsing this site i noticed that a lot of people are posting problems about their mate's behavior but this is different this is a probelm i have with my love and it goes like this.. i have been dating this guy for about 2 years and he is absolutely wonderful, a girl cant ask for a better guy he has everything looks, caring heart, masculinity.... etc basically the whole package.. the more i got to know him the more i fell in love with him and eventually became obsessed over him.. i see him around once a week cuz he is very busy so the days i dont see him im completely depressed i feel worthless i dont even feel like looking nice when im not with him because i dont want to impress anyone, i think to myself "why should i look nice if im not going to see him" and i know what you are thinking of "you should do it for yourself" but i dont need to cuz i KNOW i can look good if i wanted to in minutes.. i just choose to match my looks with my mood...i think about him 24/7 literally! basically the feeling i feel when im not with him is like detaching twin babies head on head.. i can ONLY masterbate and get turned on to him by looking at his picture (if im not with him) nothing and no one else can turn me on even if the hottest guy was standing next to me shirtless all dieseled up. i am disgusted by every guy who is not him and even found myself to be very rude to them cuz of that. i realized that my life revolves only around him and recently something weird happened this little phase im going through i realized gotten worse when lately i cry my eyes out almost everyday as a result of how much i love him (mainly) and what a great guy im lucky to have. Now since this has gotten worse, everytime i see him i get so nervous, butterflies in my stomach, sweating., stuttering, cant stop smiling,..etc... its like he takes me away to a world of bliss. i love to stare at his beatiful face, i even found myself at a place we were eating me drooling looking at him i dont know how god made a guy who is so good looking with such a good heart usually guys who look so go od are such jerks ..i elimintaed SO MANY people out of my life that were pointless people to be friends with its like he is the only one i have in my life (he feels the same way) my bf is my best friend and im comfortable to do and say ANYTHING in front of him,.. everytime he is in a bad mood i feel what he feels... i even have a little shrine of him hidden in my closet where i save his gum (i have like 30 of them), collect pieces of his hair from my pillow.. anything that is part of him i save.. i swallow his cum because of this psychological thought that i have that his sperm will swim inside my body thereforeeee its like he is inside of me, i NEVER have sex with a condom because i need him to be inside of me raw in order for me to feel aroused (sex with him for me is all emotions, very little physical.... i think about my feelings for him when we have sex which makes me orgasm i dont care much of the physical pleasure)..im scared to even imagine what would i would do to myself if we broke up i never experienced that becasue we have such a good serious relantionship and always work things out... its so funny how today when i was with him even though i felt nervous to be around him cuz i love him so much (which i shouldnt be nervous about) i felt like a whole person and actually worth sometihng but as soon as i came out of his car its like half of my soul vanished away because we split our ways. my bf knows im obsessed over him cuz i told him but he does not know HOW obsessed i really am over him. he thinks its "cute" and laughs cuz he does not really know what goes on in my head lol.... its SO HARD to put in words how really obsessed i am over him *sigh* even after reading what i jsut wrote it still does not sound how obsessive i actually really am.. well from what you read.. what do you think ? do you think this is normal? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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