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Broke up so sad


Blinking101
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Hi there,

 

I am so sorry to hear about your breakup.

I don't care what anyone says but breakups are hard for BOTH parties involved.

 

For now, keep yourself occupied and try not to second guess yourself too much. Remind yourself of your valid reasons for breaking up.

And maintain NC for now and FOCUS on your healing.

 

Hang in there.

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I just broke up with my girlfriend I been going out with over a year. She didn't treat me nice and was just really mean to me. So I broke it off. What do I do now? I am so broken!

 

brother I can feel for you.. I too broke up with my gf of 8 months. I broke up with her simply because she was mean.. and the wrong person for me. she cheated on me..and i know I should have done this a long time ago.. but I feel for you man.. it has been a month.. but still hurts

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What is "NC"? And this may sound stupid and just plain stupid. But I want her back. How can you win other her again?

 

Last night on the phone with her. I told her to keep it in her pants since I was her first and she was my first. And she said she will. And I said please don't kiss anyone else and she said she can't promise me that. I want to win her back over. But how can this be done. I know this might sound stupid but I really love this girl and she can fix her problems too. If you love something long enough you don't let go you chase after your true love.

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No Contact. Don't talk, text, phone or send messages to her in any way.

 

 

NO, you DON'T want her back! Remember this?

 

"She didn't treat me nice and was just really mean to me."

 

Why would you want that back? She may promise to change, but within a month she'll be right back to her old mean self. Forget about her and move on with your life!

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Hi B,

How are you feeling today?

 

NC is "No Contact" -- no phone calls, no emails, no txt messages, no checking her myspace/facebook, no driving past her house, no "accidentally" running into her, etc etc.

 

But I see you guys are still talking.

 

If I may ask you this: why do you wish to win back someone who you say "didn't treat you well and was really mean to you"? Yes, I understand you love her. BUT I question: does she love you -- her actions seem to say otherwise, I am sorry to say.

 

Also, if you want her back now, why did you break up with her in the first place?

 

Please ask yourself this: do you think you may love her enough to overlook her mistreatment of you? If so, since you were the dumper, perhaps you should consider asking her for a reconciliation and see what she has to say?

 

What do you think?

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No Contact. Don't talk, text, phone or send messages to her in any way.

 

 

NO, you DON'T want her back! Remember this?

 

"She didn't treat me nice and was just really mean to me."

 

Why would you want that back? She may promise to change, but within a month she'll be right back to her old mean self. Forget about her and move on with your life!

Well why would I want her back. Well because she accidentally got pregnant and she had a miscarriage with me. I was her first ever and she was mine. Because I put up with her crap all the time was because I loved her. I still do love her a lot but why is that? She was everything to me.

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Well you do make good points. But yes I love her alot. She treated me nice a times and she has a very short temper so when she gets mad she would treat me mean. Thats all. She said she loves me more than anything every day we were together. When she was cold she would snuggle up on me to stay warm. I would take care of her because she has "PI" which she has no immune system. She would get sick and I would take care of her. I did a lot for her. The problem was a little bit on my end. I would ask tons of questions to her and come accross that I didn't trust her. And she asked many times for me to change and I tried to but it failed every time. I asked her to change and she did. She asked me 5 times to stop asking questions and I tried to. The reason I asked questions was because I was cheated on before along time ago. This time I am going to stop asking questions. She asked me so many times to change that she does not believe me anymore when I say I am going to change. What do I do? How do I win her back or get her back? I really do love this girl.

 

 

Is it ok if I talk to her little sister on link removed?

 

 

I just talked her today. And spoke from the heart. And then she started to affend my parents saying I am up their butts all the time and I have everything handed to me. I am a middle class person and she is very low middle class person. And she thinks I am up my parents butt all the time. But I stuck up for my parents and maybe it is just time to move on without her and find another girl that will treat me alot better. Is that what I should do? Also I am 19 are their many other women out their that will date a Professional Airline Pilot?

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Hi again,

Sorry for the multiple posts.

 

The way I see it (and others may disagree) is you have two options:

 

One is sticking to your decision to break up and powering through with NC; I understand you still care for her and want to take care of her BUT shouldn't you also take care of you too? It is NOT selfish to want to safeguard yourself from her verbal and emotional abuse.

 

The other is asking her for a reconciliation and suck it up if she continues to be mean and rude to you bc you have decided that you love her despite her outbursts and can understand why she has them.

 

I say this bc in your post above, you are very readily justifying her actions. Yes, perhaps her illness makes her irritable sometimes and she lashes out at you.

 

If it were me, I would not stand for it BUT this is not my decision to make.

If you think you love her more than resent her for her occasional "bad days," and are willing to overlook her sometimes bad behavior, then decide to be with her BUT accept that she can be insensitive and mean to you sometimes.

 

Just my two cents.

 

Take care and please know we're here to support you whatever decision you make. Good luck!

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