Making things worse - PLEASE HELP!

[theproman23]

Lately it seems like when I am talking to my girlfriend I am just picking fights with her for no reason. I seemed to like the drama and she even said that that's how she feels about it.

 

To sum it up, she's been kind of depressed the last year or so with all the crap that's been going in her life. She has no one to talk to besides me and I am the only one that's her outlet. She has a miserable job where she hates every second of it but can't quit due to certain obligations. She gets treated like crap at work and she works her off. She is trying to get in to a grad program that only accepts 8 people so she's freaking out about that.

 

So, when I act like a complete idiot and get in to fights with her I am sure I am not making her life an easier. I feel like a complete jerk and just seem to be making it worse.

 

I don't know why but I am picking fights with her about stuff we've already settled. I am acting like I am privelaged to a few things that I know are unfair to ask of.

 

Here are things I know I do wrong and can't seem to be able to correct so I am open to any suggestions:

1. I don't believe her when she says she is'nt mad at me and continue to ask her why she's mad at me when she has made it clear she is'nt.

2. Every once in a while I'll sit by the phone waiting for her to call.

3. I expect her to be free to hang out and when she can't or does'nt feel like it I get made at her.

4. I take any criticism to mean that she does'nt like me or that she's being a b*itch.

5. The biggest thing - I seem to be thinking about what I want to say next instead of completely listening to her.

6. I expect her to be a certain way and when she is'nt i get upset which I know is completely dumb.

7. I don't make other plans hoping she'll want to hang out and end up getting mad at her when she does'nt.

 

 

PLEASE help me. I am open to all suggesitons.

 

Thank you in advance

[robowarrior]

The problem is you , not her. You are demanding things while you should love her UNCONDITIONALLY.

 

Ask yourself the question. Am i in a relationship with her so i can make her life miserable? Is she with you,so you can make her life hell on earth? OF COURSE NOT!!! Couples are supposed to make eachother HAPPY.

 

ONLY bring LOVE and LIGHT into the lives of those who you love.

 

One day she will step out of your life, and then you come to the conclusion that you don't know what you got till its gone.

 

Your just driving her away out of your life.

 

Do NOT give another spin to that wheel of hatred, arguments are like poison and even small ones can lead to BIG break ups.

 

Do you like arguments? Great but not with her, go play Call of Duty 2 to shoot away your anger, or go to one of the many discussion boards on the internet and argue your head off to people who like to argue back, however your gf is the Joker, which is the card you cannot mess with. All the other cards are playable.

 

Be there for her happyness, not for her misery.

[evening_light]

Start listening to your girlfriend when she talks.....

 

In life it's not always about ourself....if you care about her, do something...

 

Are you a happy person? if you are...try to make her happy!