Dorming

[amanda212]

Lately (past 6 months)or so my mother and I have not been getting along. We for sure have our good days but more often our bad ones. They mostly have to do with the way she talks to people..obviously me in particular...judging people, our mood being bad or good is a reflection of how her day has been. Recently, my dad and her and I had a huge blowout and my dad and I left and stayed at a hotel for a night. That has been the worst it has ever been. Tonight will be out third consecutive week going to couceling together and I really need to tell her something (i'm sure she won't find surprising) and still stay on decent terms.

 

I need to apply for dorm room housing for fall semester by tomorrow, otherwise I will probably miss my chance. (It is first come first serve). This will be the hardest thing to do, especially because I am a very emotional person. I love my mom very much and I want to be able to look forward to my 18 birthday next month, spending it with her and of course my graduation and the events in between. The college I will be dorming at is only 25 minutes away! I still want to come home often and see them alot, I just want to have my own dorm for the sake of my sanity. Somewhere to go when times are rough and I don't have to be surrounded by her anymore. But yet somewhere close enough to not miss family events or anything else. NOT TO MENTION I really want to get the college experience. MANY people have told me they promote dorming and that they encouraged their kids to do so. I just wish I had my moms support on this and and she will never understand.

 

They are apartment style dorm rooms....even though you have you and 3 other girls...their are FOUR bedrooms...a kitchen, two baths, and a living room. Great oppurtuinty to take baby steps into possibly getting my own apartment and to meet new friends! But still keep my jobs and things of that sort! I just don't know what I can tell her to let her know I am not doing this out of spite. It's something I have wanted for a long time and I don't want her to resent me for this. Our relationship used to be amazing and no it's not anymore, but it's not HORRIBLE either.

 

How would you want to be told this? I just want her approval so badly.

Thanks so much.

[Daligal83]

Could you say something like she's done a great job of raising you so far, so you think that you're ready for some more independence. Say that you think it will work out well because you'll have your own place to take care of and be more responsible for yourself, but you'll still have her nearby for when (not if, when) you'll need her. Plus you'd miss her and the family and would like to come by often still.

 

If you make it about your independence and growing up, I don't think she should take it personally.

[robowarrior]

Let her think what she wants, you are an adult who should go her own way about in life. Seeing what kind of person your mom is it will be negative no matter what you do. You shouldn't allow yourself to be molded by the negativity of others(even if its your own mother).

 

Its a bit like lion training, your mom being the lion and you needing her to drive her into the right direction. If your not strong enough to do that, id say just leave and start leading your own life.