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He's 26...I'm 36 How could I let him hurt ME??????


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Im pissed off and I feel like a damn fool because I allowed him to have his way with me knowing I should have laid down the rules like the big woman I am. I was instantly attracted to him and I wanted to have him so we didn't start out as "friends". He's a thug. I'm attracted to hood boys, that's not gonna change. Hood thugs make the best lovers...bottom line. He's always maintained a level of respect for me but now it has declined very sharply and I know it's because he's with someone else. He was never "with" me...we just had sexual appointments with each other but then it happened...the day my soul just opened up, sucked him in, and it was all over for me. I've tried to maintain and remind myself that it could never be with him and me. So lately we've argued a bit out of no where. Ok...first for everything. He shook the very ground that I walk on when he took not one, not two, but six brand new Trojan brand MAGNUM condoms from my bedroom to use on another chic...but left me alone and never answered my calls! But just four days ago he called crying about how he missed me and blah, blah, blah. Really, I just want to blow his head off...but it's not in my nature to do that. I'm heated right now but all I can say is he will never find a woman to do the things I did for him. I know he's young and this is to be expected, his problem is he dont know how to treat a lady...and he's used to being with and women who treat him bad....I was too good for his and although it hurts me now...it's also something I can feel good about because I know I did GOOD. I showed him nothing but love..and yes, I wish he could have loved me back but I also know it wasn't going to happen because of the different levels we are in our life...I also think he got bored with me but just like I had him...I can have another just like him. I just had to vent and get that out and I actually feel much better but I got a feeling I'll be back on here for some support because even though I'm a strong woman...my heart is weak for that little 26 year old pain in my !

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well welcome to ENA!

 

Yes - you can find support here - especially for the imbalances love brings.....

 

Glad you were able to vent - I hope that brings you some relief, but if not, feel free to keep posting! There's prolly quite a few people out here who can relate.....

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Well this is not about how HE feels about you.. this is how you feel about yourself, and it's okay to be "disappointed and angry" that you gave your "heart and body" to this idiot...but he's an idiot, a disrespecting thug.. no matter how good he is "in bed"... if that is what you think "will never change about you" being attracted to thugs, well then you expect more of the same kind of "disappointment and anger" inside yourself in the future.

 

OR.. you can make a change in YOU... and respect yourself, and your heart, and your body. If you do NOT respect YOURSELF, why would someone else? Remember YOU set the tone for how you wish to be treated, through your OWN choices of behavior.. and if you continue to do the same thing over and over again, and expect a different result, well you'll just continue to feel "less and less" about yourself.. and the FACT is YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE IN LIFE....

 

this is a tough time for you, but it is also an OPPORTUNITY for you to focus on yourself and who you really want to be... This guy is "yesterday's news".. remember he's a thug, a little baby, a man who disrespects woman, a guy who took condoms from your home.. he's a dog, and IF you choose to sleep with dogs, you can't help but wake up with FLEAS yourself..

 

So for today, make a vow to YOURSELF, that YOU are going to change how you treat YOURSELF, do NOT go near this guy again, no matter how "tempted" you may be.. make a choice to be STRONGER THAN YOUR "URGES".. this is what self respect and maturity and class are all about, and YOU can do this the "emotionally healthy" way from now on... you can...

 

You know this guy is a creep, and it's okay forgive yourself for getting involved with him, the GOOD NEWS is, he's "history" and now you can walk through your heartache with your head held high, and embrace A NEW BEGINNING for yourself..

 

What are your plans for yourself? Just for the next few days, what are you going to do (even if it's a tiny thing) for YOURSELF, to improve one area of YOUR life? Can you clean the house, go for a long walk, write all your feelings down on this site, just keep writing all that you are feeling, write to us all your hopes, dreams, for the future, if you could have any wish right now that would "make you feel good about YOU" what would it be?

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He's a thug. I'm attracted to hood boys, that's not gonna change. Hood thugs make the best lovers...bottom line.

 

Well, you wanted a thug. That's what you got. Why be surprised or hurt when he acts like the insensitive thug you knew he is? I'm sorry you are hurt and in pain, but it goes straight back to your taste in men.

 

Have you ever heard the story of the Scorpian and the Frog? It directly applies to your situation.

 

There's a big storm and flood. The scorpian and frog both need to get to higher ground. The frog can swim and will live. The scorpian cannot swim and will drown. So the frog feels sorry for his predator and offers to let the scorpian get on his back while the frog swims accross the water to higher ground. The frog says, that way they can both live. The scorpian accepts. The frog first makes the scorpian promise not to sting him. The scorpian agrees.

 

So the scorpian gets on the frogs back and the frog starts swimming for the other side. Halfway accross the water, the scorpian stings the frog badly. The frog says, "Why did you sting me? Now were both going to die?". The Scorpian says, "Because I'm a scorpian and it's my nature." Then the frog died and sank, then the scorpian drowned.

 

This guy is the scorpian, and even if you'd made him promise you the moon, he would have broken his promise because it's his nature to lie and hurt you, and others. So the outcome would still have been bad no matter if, or what, rules you set out, or promises he made. A bad outcome is inevitable, if you seek out bad men.

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Change yourself and your tastes in men, and then you can have better outcomes. How do you know if a nice guy could be good in bed? Seriously, have you been with enough of them to know? I suspect some of them could be very good. Ask other women here about that.

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I'm heated right now but all I can say is he will never find a woman to do the things I did for him.

 

Sure he will find that elsewhere...just like you'll find another thug. There is more to a relationship than bending over. Sounds like this 'arrangement' was just about sex or "sexual appointments", so why be upset. If you want a 'real man' that'll treat you with respect, it might be a good idea to make some different "appointments".

 

I can have another just like him.

 

You sure can.

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  • 2 weeks later...

"He shook the very ground that I walk on when he took not one, not two, but six brand new Trojan brand MAGNUM condoms from my bedroom to use on another chic...but left me alone and never answered my calls!"

 

- You know, I really don't care to give people advice BUT, I don't get why you like him. He sounds totally gross. I say keep him. Keep him off our streets.

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