Valentines Day - Am I alone on this?

[Deviant_Kate]

I feel like my girlfriend and I are the only people in the world who don't do Valentine's Day. All the prepackaged, heart-shaped gifts and red and pink everything just annoy the crap out of me, and it really irks me that there's this one day per year that I'm REQUIRED to show my love through candy and flowers.

 

Suddenly, how much you love someone is measured by how much you spend on them or how all out you go on this specific day of the year, and you're a jerk if you don't get the perfect gift, and you're just expected to do something special because it's the middle of February. How much sense does that make?!?!

 

I'm offended by the implication that I need a holiday to remind me to love my girlfriend. I celebrate my love EVERY DAY by expressing it through little things, like hugs and kisses, doing the dishes, taking her out to dinner just because. I make a HUGE deal out of her birthday, because I'm SO GLAD she was born! We celebrate our anniversary, because we're SO GLAD we had the good sense to start dating each other. But I don't see what St. Valentine has to do with our relationship...

 

Is there ANYBODY who's with me on this one?

[DN]

Yep - me.

 

And my wife of course.

 

We haven't done it for years for the same reasons you mention.

[luvursmile]

My husband & I dont celebrate it either...

 

We'd rather do all that stuff on our anniversary....a date that actually means something to us!

[LONESOUL]

I hate v day~

You said everything I feel, I might as well have written it myself!

So nope you are not alone in this Kate!

(and by the way, how are you? Hope you are well)

[shes2smart]

My husband and I don't celebrate what I like to call the "Hallmark Holidays."

 

That would include Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day....and I'm getting very close to putting Christmas on that list these days, too.

 

Although, I do get a chuckle out of all the commericals for flowers/jewelry/candy/etc. Poor suckers willingly parting with their money for a few trinkets. I shake my head and put a few extra bucks into my mutal fund.

 

As for my birthday, after I hit 40 I don't want to be reminded anymore.

 

I'm more likely to opt for a celebratory dinner for something like my paycheck not bouncing.

[Jeffrey2095]

I haven't celebrated Valentine's Day since grade school.

 

Jeff

[anggrace]

Nope- your not alone! We don't celebrate either. Bah-humbug!

[CluelessGuy321]

I completely agree. And really, what is Valentine's except for a contrived holiday made up by candy sellers, greeting card makers, and big corporations dealing with roses and treats.

 

I also think that it's sweet that you and your girlfriend simply express yourselves in different ways.

Could you post a picture of you and your girlfriend hugging?

[amtjrtcet]

I don't do anything special for V-day. I've been dating my b/f for 9.5 months, so this will be our first V-day together. But we don't have anything planned. I'm not getting him anything, and I don't think he's getting me anything. Birthdays & Christmas-both are appropriate for gifts, V-day-NO. IMO.

 

To me Ground hog Day has more importance

[rocio]

I've never celebrated myself either, other than sending e-cards to my single friends. But I fail to see why you're so upset. Do you get this upset at every holiday? Or do you have a problem with little, red hearts? Companies go all out on holidays.. whether it's Christmas, Halloween, V-day.. It gets more and more rediculous every year. But I think it's nice to have one day in the year dedicated to romance.

[RooferGirl23]

we dont do it either, I think the anniversary is the best time to have gifts and what not. I hate when my girlfriends call me up after v-day and brag about what their men did. we just maybe have candles with dinner, but nothing more.

Great post, Im sure there are lots that feel this way!

[anggrace]

I won't deny that I love the idea of being given a poem/card, flowers, a diamond( ), ect. Its romantic and who doesn't want to feel adored? But when you are expecting it or hold it over someones head like they "should" do it, its no longer romantic. In my opinion anyway.

[Day_Walker]

Valentines Day does not bother me, practically every holiday has become over commercialized and its true essense has been distorted by the notiona of materialism but that is the nature of the culture we live in. I can understand why the businesses want to pay so much attention to these holidays and that is because they are going to make money. I dont believe that that the answer is not celebrating but just celebrate in your own way. No one says that you have to buy into the commercial aspects of the "halmark holidays".

I do not see Valentines as the one day of the year that you can express yourself to your partner but it is an idealistic day and for that one day you can show your partner what they mean to you. Does that mean that you cannot do that other days of the year but it is a chance to go all out. While you may not express all that they mean to you every day of the year.

[applepie]

My ex broke up with me on V-day. It's tainted for me. I won't be celebrating it with my new guy.

[Jayar]

I expect to be shown a nice, sweet (not necessarily expensive) Valentine's Day. I'd dump a guy who didn't, because IMO it shows INCREDIBLY bad taste especially in terms of a new relationship. Doesn't have to be fancy, doesn't have to be expensive. But it has to be personalized. A lovely walk with the dogs, a kiss, and "Happy Valentine's Day. I love you!" is all that's needed. But without that? Buh-bye.

 

Why? Because I feel if someone KNOWS it's at all important to me (and I have a right for it to be, just as anyone else has the right to hate it) then if he still insists on NOT celebrating for whatever reason, he isn't out to please me. A kiss and "happy V-Day" doesn't take much. If he wouldn't do that as a matter of principle, he can go be someone else's boyfriend.

[TiredMan]

I did it for a few years but not anymore. My g/f says it, I say it (don't really care to) and that is it. The days of gifts and all that on the day are over, thankfully. I think it's silly. Why should I treat her special (or vice versa) on THIS day?

 

One relationship I had, the girl was actually BIG into it. She bugged me for weeks about it. Wanting to know what I am getting her, knowing I don't like this holiday. So I dumped her the Valentine's Day lol.

[TiredMan]

 

Why? Because I feel if someone KNOWS it's at all important to me (and I have a right for it to be, just as anyone else has the right to hate it) then if he still insists on NOT celebrating for whatever reason, he isn't out to please me. A kiss and "happy V-Day" doesn't take much. If he wouldn't do that as a matter of principle, he can go be someone else's boyfriend.

 

But you say he has the right to "hate it" so aren't you not pleasing him by expecting it to be celebrated then?

[RayKay]

I would say there are a huge number of people whom feel that way. I rarely meet people anyway whom are huge into it; or don't think it is a total hallmark holiday! But, that does not mean either that people have to "rebel" against it unless as a couple they choose too!

 

I am like you and show love everyday, and my boyfriend does in return. So that being said, we show love on Valentine's Day too, but not in honour of Valentine's Day - but because we do so everyday. The most we usually do is a card we made or something, and of course always with some "I love you's" - sometimes he sends flowers on, or before or after V-Day, but we frequently exchange cards anyway so again, it is not V-Day that "makes" us do it!

 

The day itself does have a legitimate history, it is just over-commercialized, but that is like any holiday. And I have not yet stopped celebrating Christmas even if I think it is so commercialized. Like V-Day, Christmas for me is more about sharing it with people I love, apart from all the hoopla. So V-Day can be spent with the man I love, without falling for the commercial side of it

[Jayar]

But you say he has the right to "hate it" so aren't you not pleasing him by expecting it to be celebrated then?

 

He ABSOLUTELY has the right to hate it and not participate in it, regardless of how that makes me feel. I just figure then if that's the case, we're incompatible. No biggie. Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Edited to add: And in that case, we wouldn't be incompatible because he doesn't like V-Day, we'd be incompatible because he'd rather take a stand as a matter of principle, with complete disregard for my feelings. That's the issue. And, for the record, I'd dump him for the same lack of consideration V-Day aside.

[anggrace]

If my bf wanted to celebrate, Id be happy to. If he didn't want it and I did, Im sure he'd do the same. We're not rebeling -its just that neither of us feel the need for it, so it works out. I don't think theres a right or wrong about it, just personal preference. We do however do things for eachother throughout the year to show our love and appreciation. I get alot of enjoyment out of that. And to be honest I probably will give him a card. But there is no pressure on him to get me anything.

[sidehop]

We don't believe in it, we do small things everyday (which I love) to show how much we mean to each other. This year though I'm away for the day so I'm still sending her favorite Godiva chocolates and other things (which I'm trying to think of!).

[melrich]

We don't do anything for Valentine's Day. I agree with you, it is a retail exercise.

[blindfold]

me either...

[Jayar]

If my bf wanted to celebrate, Id be happy to. If he didn't want it and I did, Im sure he'd do the same.

 

And THAT is the key! Nicely put! I'm sure if you wanted it, and he refused to celebrate as a matter of principle, you'd think he was a jerk.

[thyroxine]

I personally think it's cute. This is the first year I'm not going to be single on Valentines Day, so I'm excited!

 

My roommate hates V-Day with a passion though. But then again, I don't think she really doesn't like holidays (commercialized or not.)