confused273 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 this is going to be long so please bear with me! ok ill start at the beginning....i was a junior in high school when i met my BF he was a grade lower than me...we had biology class together. he was kinda dorky and not my type but i needed a prom date so i asked him to go with me..not really expecting any sort of relationship. we continued to see eachother after prom and things were great! we got along really well and always had fun together. i was really and truly surprised at how compatable we were(still are). Graduation comes and goes for both of us and we are still going strong...then the unthinkable happens.....he cheats on me with my supposed "good" friend. no actually sexual intercorse....but oral...thats enough for me! i tried to stay with him and make it work but this man who i had trusted for 4 yrs had completely betrayed me...i couldnt just let it go..i needed time to deal with what happened and take it from there ya know? so i moved out of state to live with my cousin on her horse farm( i love horses!) and while i was there i met another guy....i thought he was great! things at my cousins were not going well...i was being taken advantaage of big time...i decided to move in with the new guy eventhough we had only been together for a few months. things were going great until the new guy started being emotionally abusive...i of course not wanting to believe that he was a jerk just brushed it off...BIG mistake...a few months later im pregnant(eventhough i was on the pill!!!!grrr) and his abuse is getting worse...he tries to rape me and that was the last straw...oh and i must mention that the whole time i was away i never was able to let go and get over my ex....thought about him everyday and always compared the new guy to him...all i wanted was to be with my ex! anyway...i move back home and call my ex...tell him im pregnant and that im back in town..he wants to see me...and i said ok...not too sure of what was going to happen. i see him and all the feelings come rushing back...but i dont hug him or anything just say hi. we went out for ice cream and it was nice. he tells me that he still loves me and never stopped loving me...and i tell him the same but we agree not to rush into anything because im pregnant with another mans baby..this was back in september...its now febuary and we have been back in a relationship since octoberish...he loves me and i love him more than anything..its the most amazing thing in the world! he is very supportive of my pregnancy(im due april 10th!) even though he is def not excited about me having a baby. i used to be really close with his family but now him mom wont let me in her house and she doesnt want me to be with him..she says she is hurt that i got preggers by another guy(not like it was planned or anything) and that she is upset. she thinks im going to ruin her sons life with my child and that he will have a bad life because of me. #1 i would never ever expect him to take care of MY baby!!!!!! #2 just because i have a child means he will have a bad life??? NO! that is why i am in school getting a better education..so i can provide MY child with a good life and everything he needs. #3 my BF is also in school so he can have a good job that pays well...so how does she figure that he will have a bad life if he is with me?? i know its not going to be easy...but since when has life in general been easy? my BF has tried to talk to her about accepting me at his GF but she will hear none of it! what bothers me the most is that when i see her she will smile and wave at me...and when i had to go to the hospital to have my baby monitered she was all worried about me...yet....the other day i had to walk up the icy driveway to get him(that drive way is LONG and STEEP!)...by the time i got up the driveway i was out of breath and FREEZING...you would think she would invite me in to warm up while BF got his stuff ready...but no! she left me out in the cold! shes sending me mixed signals and im so confused about what to do! not to mention im petrified that BF is going to be influenced by his mother and leave me...im paranoid hes going to cheat on me again...i dont know if its pregnancy hormones or what but im just so paranoid and the insecurity is insane! i KNOW that he loves me he proves it to me everyday! i just cant help the way im feeling.. and i have talked to him about it and he has reassured me over and over again that what im feeling is not going to happen...but i dont know....im so scared! can anyone give me any advice?? what would you do in this situation? oh and a side note....the baby's father is NOT in the picture and WILL NOT be in the picture..i will not have my baby around a person that abusive..and i will not put myself in that situation. thanks everyone..this has been eating me up Quote Link to comment
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