What should I do?

[codyhawk]

Hey guys,

It's my first time posting on this site. Anyways, I'll get down to business. I was going out with a girl for about a year. About halfway through, I started suspecting that she was cheating on me with this total * * * * that she hung out with. She called me crazy and denied it up and down, even making me feel bad for asking. Anyways, after that year we broke up for a little bit, and then decided to get back together. When I got back together with her I saw one of her e-mails that said she had hooked up with that guy multiple times while she was going out with me. I was insanely pissed off. After a while I got over it, and, like an idiot, ended up getting back with her because I loved her so much. It wasn't the same though, I couldn't fully trust her and a part of me resented her. After about 4-5 months of that, we broke up again, for good. It's now about a month and a half past that break-up, and I definitely am over her. I found out, however, that she was cheating on me for the second half of the relationship with a guy from her work who is married. I don't want her back at all, but I am really angry at the lack of respect that she had for me. I'm thinking about finding this guy's wife's phone number and letting her know what her husband is doing with my ex. Is it an evil thing to do? Just dropping it seems like it would be really hard for me to do, since I kinda of want 'payback' for everything she did to me. Any advice would be appreciated.

[anggrace]

I know this sounds cliche', but the best revenge would be moving on and being happy in your life. I really dont think you will feel any better by telling the other women. I would leave it alone and move on. You don't need any more of that drama.

[codyhawk]

It just seems like such a hard thing to do. She's completely wrecked my self esteem and took away nearly two years of the prime of my life. I hate to say it, but I want her to feel a quarter as bad as I feel.

[i2oadi2unnei2]

codyhawk, welcome to ena.

 

My quick take, leave it alone. You said you are over her, that's great and I applaude you. I'll also give you alot of credit for giving her a 2nd chance, for I would've never taken her back since my tolerance for cheating is less to none.

 

Since you no longer have any thing to do with her, let her go, turn your back and walk away with your head high. Being vengeful will not help anyone. You don't want anymore drama, you don't owe that man anything, if he ends up cheating, its his own perogative and when it catches up to him, you can just sit back, watch and laugh because of his lust for sex.

 

You're doing great, keep up with the grieving process because being angry is part of it. Keep walking down that healing pathway. Best wishes to you.

[anggrace]

I understand that you want her to hurt as you do. Chances are, with the kinds of decisions she makes, she will bring pain on to herself. When someone is decietfull and careless, they will eventually feel pretty empty and will probably end up alone. You are a strong person to walk away. Don't stoop to her level and cause pain in someone elses life. You are better than that. Thats why your not with her! Trust me, she will suffer consequences from her own actions.

[codyhawk]

I think when I posted I was kind of looking for confirmation that what I was doing was the right thing to do, but I guess it's not from the outside looking in. Here's a little insight on how I feel about everything. She's wrecked me, humiliated me, and sidelined my life and I've got one opportunity to put her through a little hell. I feel like if I did this maybe I could just leave it all behind. Also, isn't it kind of his wife's right to know? She's getting screwed over just as bad as I was (actually a little worse considering the nuptials) and might not ever find out if I were to not make a mention.

[adahy]

It just seems like such a hard thing to do. She's completely wrecked my self esteem and took away nearly two years of the prime of my life. I hate to say it, but I want her to feel a quarter as bad as I feel.

 

Well, that's just it...she doesn't "feel" like you do. I have encountered people like this and there is nothing you can do to make this person "feel" the way you want...or maybe at all. Don't lose another moments sleep over this B****. Worrying about revenge shows you're still not 100% over it...so, don't waste another second on her.

Find comfort knowing that people like this will eventually get what's coming to them. It never fails. You don't want people like this in your life!!

[anggrace]

Do you REALLY think it will make you feel any better? Will the pain she caused you go away if you step in and interfere with someone elses marriage? Revenge will not fix anything. Like we've said, she will get hers and you don't need to be the one to give it to her. DONT stoop to her level.

[adahy]

I think when I posted I was kind of looking for confirmation that what I was doing was the right thing to do, but I guess it's not from the outside looking in. Here's a little insight on how I feel about everything. She's wrecked me, humiliated me, and sidelined my life and I've got one opportunity to put her through a little hell. I feel like if I did this maybe I could just leave it all behind. Also, isn't it kind of his wife's right to know? She's getting screwed over just as bad as I was (actually a little worse considering the nuptials) and might not ever find out if I were to not make a mention.

 

Just put it behind you. I had a similar relationship once and my negative feelings nearly consumed me. I had a particularly bad view of women for a period of time, but then I met a woman w/ a heart which turned me around. There are plenty out there that will treat you right. If you don't put it behind you, it will continue to have a negative presense in your life in other forms. Just say screw it.

Also, stay out of that other marriage!! As you suspected something in your relationship, I'm sure this wife does too. It's not your business. A rule to remember: Don't get mixed up in other people's crap, unlless you want to get crapped on. Another rule: stay away from negative and empty people like your last girlfriend...unless you want negative results in your life.

[codyhawk]

Hey everybody, I appreciate all the responses I've got back. I've calmed down a bit about the whole thing, looking back and realizing that she started going out with me just a few days after she had broken up with her last boyfriend. She must not function the same as people with emotional attachments. While I still feel like I want to let the wife know, it's more because I think she should know and not out of revenge. We'll see what I end up doing.

[Wandering_Sword]

Take the high road and don't bother with revenge. Move on (which you have) and live your life to the fullest. That's always the best revenge