I realize I know nothing about this girl...

[Maverick32x]

So, there has been a girl that I have been kind of seeing at school... I guess you could say we are exclusively not dating..... however we spend most every other day together... and shes alot of fun.. its been about..... 5 months now? or something? And i realized today that we are actually pretty close, we do alot of stuff together, she'll spend the night every once and awhile, sometimes we'll cuddle up, other times we won't.... but it just dawned on me... that I really don't know anything about her past in terms of relationships, or really anything? Its like to me, she had no life pre- me meeeting her.... if that makes sense... i guess everything I know about her is current....

 

I guess I'm asking the girls on this, but would it be weird if a friend of a couple months tossed in some casual questions about past stuff? I guess I mean realationships and stuff... not like.. get the interrogation lamp out or anything, but I guess I'm a bit curious, but don't want to be intrusive..... and i guess the follow up question to this is "Why does it matter" and the answer to that is... it doesnt really I guess I'm just curious?

[rosie76]

I wouldn't think this odd at all, and actually wonder sometimes when I'm with someone new if they _don't_ seem interested in my life before they met me. Does she know this stuff about you? Usually it just dribbles out in conversation without there having to really be questions about it - maybe talking a bit about yourself will make her do the same.

 

To your second question, it matters simply because you're interested in knowing about them, who they are, what makes them tick. I've been asking myself if past behaviours really matter, though, as the guy I'm seeing now has said on a number of occaisions that he's been quite distant from previous girls, to the point of being responsible but not very nice. He's treating me fine and says he feels differently about me, but this doesn't make me feel special as much as wary that he's been this way to others. Do you think whatever this woman might tell you of her past might make you wary as well, and is this why you're interested in knowing?

[Batya33]

I wouldn't do it just out of curiosity because those are very personal questions and if she wanted you to know she would have shared it with you.

[Maverick32x]

I don't think i have anything to be wary of, she seems like a pretty conservative girl... but ya, I guess i do kind of want to know what makes her tick..... I like how you put that

 

Batya Its not like I want really personal questions, I guess I just feel like I've known her for a long time, but our relationship is kind of superficial....

 

I will admit I have ALOT of trouble making very close friends... I have maybe 3-4 that I feel like I can tell anything to and I have a close connection with them (guys and girls) despite the fact that I have tons of "casual" friends that I might see very often, but our friendship feels like its only on the surface.. and when i stop seeing them we probably will stop talking.....