is he just not interested?

[gradle]

ok. so i've written about this before. sorry if i'm not listening.

 

i dated this guy S over the summer and we sort of fizzled..partially b/c i met someone else and b/c we were both so busy. but he called me up again a few months ago and wanted to go out. so we have been going on dates since then. problem is, he goes out of town a lot for work, and i don't hear from him. and then during xmas he went home for a while, didn't hear from him for a couple of weeks. i contacted him after that and he called and has been since...until about a week and ago.

 

i made him dinner and he seemed to really like it. kept making comments about how he'd have to make me dinner sometime and we were cuddly as usual. things went well, they usually do.

 

but he was coming down with something. so he called that next day adn i called him on fri to see if he wnated me to bring him some soup. he said he took all this medicine and was going to bed. then he called the next day to chat. monday came and i sent him a cute link. he responded cutely. but no mention of plans or anything. so it' s been about a week. and i'm sad b/c i really do like him. foolish me. it was my fault the first time. but then again. why does he do this? if he were more attentive or showed me more that he was interested then i never would have been dating someone else.

 

is he just not into me?

 

plus: i can't do anything physical with him until i know he's somewhat more committed. i couldn't do that to myself. but lately i've been feeling hurt when he gets like this. i never tell him what's on my mind. i was thinking of bringing it up next time we went out (if there is a next time) about him just sort of disappearing. i woudln't be too upset if he were dating other people. i just don't want him disappearing. but even now i'm debating sending him an email about how i feel. but i wonder if i should even do that...

[robowarrior]

Nothing seems to be wrong, he's just 'totally unaware of how to satisfy you. This is because you fail to communicate to him on what YOU want, this because you think he understands your subtle intentions, reality is that no guy on this planet understands a girls subtle intentions, so in other words, if you want something from a guy you will have to ask it in his face 'directly' otherwhise he won't have a clue on what you want. Make your intentions clear,and you'll get a clear anwer more or less on where you stand in the relationship.

[Bankers24]

Are you sure he isn't married or have another girlfriend? Sounds suspicious to me! Always gone and doesn't talk to you when home for the holidays...hmmmm.

[gradle]

hah! i know he's not married, and from what people have told me, he's not dating anyone else...even though if he were, i'd understand, we're not really that serious or anything...he's just insanely busy. but maybe i'm wrong, maybe there is someone else?

 

so robo? do you think i should go ahead and email him? just say, "hey? feelin better? " and then just say "i hope you're not planning on disappearing b/c i like having you around but if you are, please let m e know?" something along those lines? i still think he's a good guy, but maybe he's just not that interested...or this is his way of getting rid of me slowly? or maybe he really is clueless?

[Altruist]

Yeah, say something along those lines. I think he does like you but may be unsure about how you feel since you've admitted that you haven't told him your concerns.

[A_Friend]

, reality is that no guy on this planet understands a girls subtle intentions, .

 

Totally agree ....You need to ask him directly and stop wasting time in playing a puzzle game ..

 

Best of luck

[gradle]

ok, so i pretty much emailed out what i wrote you. he emailed back a few minutes later saying he hadn't disappeared, he just ended up getting really really sick and is now stuck trying to catch up on his work.

still no plans to get together.

 

so i just emailed him back and said when he had time to take a break let me know, and to feel better.

 

argh. is he just stringing me along? or is he being serious?