Our Relationship if Past the 'Honeymoon' Stage...Now What?!

[ashley001]

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for a little over a year. We are honest all the time to each other, we tell each other everything, and together we are invincible. I guess it's like every other relationship, you think that they ARE the one. We planned our kids' names, etc.

 

Lately, we've been having arguments everyday, compared to really NONE before. We argue over the littlest things though, something he says or something I do. We just get mad at each other and before our fights would be cute like, we'd fight and then make up and be closer, but these fights are like, we fight, and then our confrontation is nasty and when we do make up, it makes us feel really bad.

 

I'm just not happy, constantly arguing and trying to mend our relationship. But then, isn't that what a relationship is? I'm just really confused because I love him, but I don't want to be with someone I'm not happy with. I've never been in this long of a relationship and maybe that has something to do with it.

[J6hn]

You need to talk through things instead of fighting.

Tell him that the fighting is upsetting you and both you need to make an effort to talk through things with eachother instead of getting up in arms.

 

If your relationship is worth saving (For both of you) this should be easy.

[MrSparky]

Ashley,

 

That's not uncommon for relationships after the first year or so, and it can hit you with a bit of a supprise because "Hey, we were fine for 11 months and 30 days! In fact, we were GREAT! Now what?!" but even the best of relationships have arguments, sometimes you have to work out what's causing them.

 

Is there a single problem at the core of all your arguments? Did you argue to ignore other issues (like money issues, tasks/work that needs to be done, generally trying to avoid things). Is there jealously that's causing arguments? Is one of you experiencing mood swings that is causing the arguments? It can be hard to address if that's the case, but sometimes one person is down, has mood swings, has other things to address, etc etc, and they'll start attacking their partner in frustration.

 

Ultimately - you need to talk and work through these problems if you feel the relationship is worth working for. And at a year-long relationship, at 'that' point in it, it's probably worth working through just to find out what sort of a couple you really are. Just try and figure what's causing them, there's usually a source of frustration coming from somewhere