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What makes this girl different? Are these good signs?


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I met this girl (friend of my roomate's) several weeks ago. occasionally I see her around campus and we talk on the shuttleride to campus. Weird thing is she seems to like talking to me. I mean, I'm no Rico Suave, but I'd also say I'm not intimidate by women. I just don't have that charm that other guys do. I think it's because I don't seem "fun" not that kind of exciting fun guy that most girls are into.


Anyway, back on track. when i first met her I didn't really do/say anything different than I normally would first talking to a girl. Just make casual conversation, we talk about school and what we like about our majors. she smiles a lot and laughs when we talk. I mentioned how getting an internship is a good idea while in college and she fairly quickly mentioned a kind of internship meeting taking place in the future that was out of town. She asked me if I wanted to accompany her (we have the same major). I said yes (maybe not just because of the meeting )


So I'm racking my brain wondering if she is just being friendly or maybe she's into me. It is just that NO girls have ever been as friendly to me as she has been. whenever i just even try to talk casually to a girl they never seem interested, and they'll never initiate conversation again with me unless I come to them first.


I wish I knew how to be that exciting, fun guy that all girls go for. I never got invited to parties and was never part of a big click so being popular never sunk in with me and I never tried to be. Now it is like if you aren't one of those guys that constantly entertain girls with their personality then you are looked at as a loner or someone with low confidence. I asked here once if not having female friends was odd, and most said no. but it seems that every guy that gets girls' attention has lots female friends. I try to seem friendly, but girls never seem to gain interest, and when that happens it hurts my confidence. I see other guys start talking to girls the same basic way and the girls will flirt; but not with me. I makes me feel that my looks/height are what is holding me back; Girls, how do you react when a guy you first meet seems friendly and asks questions about you to get to know you? Because that never seems to work with me...

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Hey Sal-


I know how you feel buddy. It's tough balancing your hopes for romance with the possibility that she may just be being friendly. This has happened to me before, where a woman is super nice, smiling, and chatty with me, start to get a little excited and thinking about how I'm going to approach her to take this thing a step further, then sometime later I find out she's engaged or married. It's tough man...and not at all easy to understand or fair either!


But beyond this relatively minor point here is the fact you are just too negative and self-defeating in your self-perception. I know some of the most socially-retarded people (not saying you are by any means) who are happily married and have families. I have no idea where these people come from or how they tie their shoes in the morning, let alone understand relationships, yet, they share fruitful love with someone else...


You are comparing your perceived superficial self to the image you believe attracts the masses. You don't want the masses you want one woman who is as unique and special as you are and appreciates you for you on deeper levels than what the masses see anyway.


But she's going to have a tough time doing that if you yourself don't do that. I think finding contentment and happiness in your life outside of the institution of relationships is the means to this end. You focus on this and the relationship aspect of your life will follow suit I think. And if it doesn't, no matter, because you're happy and content anyway...


I think when you address this core problem, all the related details will start becoming clearer to you as will solutions to such.


Perhaps you should also let go of "trying" to come accross as this-or-that and come accross in a manner that you believe in without the pretense of trying to gain anything by doing such. This is called being genuine. If 100 women shoot you down, so be it, they aren't for you. If one woman falls for you, she's the one you want anyway...

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