krazykikikat Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Well, I'm PRETTY sure it can't work, but if you have ANY reason why it MIGHT pleeeeeese tell me because I'm obsessed. I'm an obsessed kind of person. I get obsessed easy, and right now I'm obsessed with this girl.... But the thing is, I have a boyfriend. She has a boyfriend. We like eachother. We love our boyfriends. I'm having some issues with my boyfriend, kinda like, I love him, but I'm starting to doubt whether it's romantically. I don't know if she has issues with her boyfriend. Our personalities are totally opposite. I'm a Scorpio, she's a Gemini, which, if you don't know, means that I'm like a straightjacket and she's like a person who doesn't understand how she got stuck in a straightjacket. At least, that's probably how it'd end up if we did get together. But oh god I want to give it a shot... I really really do, because I really really like this girl, and I've never been with a girl before, and the guy I'm with now, though he's a great guy, is the kind of guy who will probably propose soon, and then I'll really be stuck with him. And I LOVE him, but I'm so confused.... So very confused, and I'm fairly certain it can't work with this girl... So what do I do? Believe it or not, I've never actually been obsessed with someone who was going out with someone else and didn't break up with their someone for me. How do I get over it when nothing even HAPPENED? What is there to even get over? I'll always be wondering! So... I guess I'm asking... either, how do I make it so something can happen between us, or how do I get over her? I really really like her though!! ](*,) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 I think the most important thing for you to do right now before you involve another person, is to step back and be on your own for awhile and figure out who YOU are and who YOU want to become in your life. Giving into an "urge" or "obsession" is not a "direction" in life, it's merely a "temporary fix" for whatever it is your are "feeling" in the moment, and it's not fair to anyone else involved when YOU yourself are already in a relationship, and now seeking or obsessing on someone else.. man or woman. The first step is to not go forward with your current relationship.. this poor guy does not deserve to be disrespected or be "unknowing" of how on "the fence" you are right now emotionally. Do you think you can muster up the courage to see a therapist, get some of your thoughts/feelings/obsessions in order so you yourself can be strong, independent, emotionally healthy and sincere no matter who you are dating? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krazykikikat Posted February 4, 2007 Author Share Posted February 4, 2007 As for the first paragraph... you're right. As for the second paragraph... I think I'll wait until after Valentine's day. And as for the third paragraph... I see TWO therapists. Unfortunately, with one I spend too much time deciding what medicine will make me stop tearing open the inside of my mouth, and with the other, I spend too much time talking about samurai movies and the Civil War so as to avoid being lectured on my bad grades or how many guys I love. I don't usually have trouble talking about those things, it's just, that one therapist makes me cry. ALL THE TIME. So probably what you're going to tell me next is I should get another therapist, but I like the guy, as a person... and I feel bad... eh. Anyway, that's that.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 ugh.. I know exactly what you mean about the therapist I went to a guy who was just horrible for me for almost two years... I just thought 'oh well, he's a nice guy".. but my god it's YOUR THERAPY, and yes, you're right it's the first step in taking care of yourself to get A NEW THERAPIST, and "self" journey starts with one step... and I think you might need to take that first step and find a therapist who can help you discover YOU. Until we know our own values/standards for our own heart we can not truly in a healthy mature way love another... so take care of you right now.. you deserve to find out what it is you want from life.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J6hn Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 the guy I'm with now, though he's a great guy, is the kind of guy who will probably propose soon, and then I'll really be stuck with him. You're 16! How old is he? By using the word "stuck" you make it sound negative. If you can't imagine a future with him then your relationship isn't as strong as it really should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKP Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 You're 16! How old is he? By using the word "stuck" you make it sound negative. If you can't imagine a future with him then your relationship isn't as strong as it really should be. Thats very true You need to stop and think about who you want to be with, if your only with him cuz hes a nice guy then you should leave him, if you cant give him your whole heart why even be with him? it will hurt him more if you keep lying to youself and him about how you feel in your heart. To me it doesnt seem like you love him, yeah maybe love as a mate but nothing more not the way you always talk about him Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cid Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 Well first of all you are just 16 leave him ant try other people, Just tell him that you need to find your self. If he loves you he will let you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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