jenna1012 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and recently he's been getting closer to my mom. My mom is 50 and gorgeous, one of those older women who look like they're 30. There's nothing wrong with thinking my mom is gorgeous, but my boyfriend has fantasies about her...I guess that's somewhat ok being that he's into the whole older women type deal, but then just for fun i asked him, "if my mom asked you to have sex with her, would you?" and he honestly said yes. and he kind of laughed it off, but his answer was honest. it kind of bothers me, i mean of course if he really did it we'd be through, but that he thinks about it and thinks it somewhat funny/okay bothers me...i mean i know i can't get rid of his fantasy, but i know i satisfy him in the bedroom, i just don't have that older woman factor for him... input/advice? Quote Link to comment
g1234567890h Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I think you set yourself up for this when you asked him that question. Let me ask you a question: if you know an attractive guy somewhere and your boyfriend asked you if you would have sex with him, would you honestly say yes? It's perfectly natural to be attracted to other people even though you're in an exclusive relationship. My girlfriend and I share crushes all the time. Crushes and fantasies are harmless as long as they're never acted upon. Quote Link to comment
Cid Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I agree with q123, It is a natural thing with us humans. Just don't let it bother you too much. Quote Link to comment
Desma214 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I wouldnt worry for one he may want it to happen but hey its your mom your soul provider your best friend one whos always there no way would she do that so you definitely dont have to worry. Another thing if it bothers you then you tell him by not telling him you bottle all the anger and hurt up which isnt fair to both of you and eventually snap and you both start to argue. You tell him you dont appreciate him saying stuff like that and it hurts you when you hear it so even though he may like your mom he should still act like a man and respect you enough not to talk about it. If talking doesnt help and you really need to do something then take a break in the relationship to where hes not at your house or even start taking him somewhere else and then you can find out if hes wrapped up in love with you or your mom because if shes not around and he acts weird or angry then you know why hes really around but if hes happy and content with you by yourselves then no need to worry I hope my opinion helps good luck. Quote Link to comment
hardcharger Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 you are 18, and he wants to sleep with your 50 yr old mom? this boy is a loser and trouble!!! there will be no good out of a continued relationship with him. he will be cheating on you in no time. save yourself a lot of grief, find someone else. Quote Link to comment
Stari Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 You sound secure in yourself. Keep it up. Don't break up with your bf yet. Because odds are the next guy would think your mum is gorgeous too. She is the female equivalent of Brad Pitt. The fact that your bf told you the truth, even though you didn't prefer the answer, tells me he has character. Feeling attraction is biologi and continuation of the species. But beauty is not the only thing that attracts me to person: Caring and laughing together are two things that to me are more important than my partner being incredibly beautiful. Take care Quote Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 apart from this, how is your relationship? is he good to you? respectful of you? Quote Link to comment
Relationship Coach Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and recently he's been getting closer to my mom. My mom is 50 and gorgeous, one of those older women who look like they're 30. There's nothing wrong with thinking my mom is gorgeous, but my boyfriend has fantasies about her...I guess that's somewhat ok being that he's into the whole older women type deal, but then just for fun i asked him, "if my mom asked you to have sex with her, would you?" and he honestly said yes. HONESTY SCALE: 10 INTELLIGENCE SCALE: 0 OK, that's a little too strange for me. I'm sure your mother is a beautiful woman but.....she's your MOTHER! If he's with you, he needs to be "in to you" unless of course you are willing to have an open relationship and share him with others. RC Quote Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I agree with RC. Yeah, the guy does get points for being honest, but negative points for being a bonehead and saying he'd consider sleeping with your mom. Is your mom the type to make a move on your bf? Quote Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 ummm... sorry, too weird a thought for me! is he always bringing your mother up or talking about her like a crush or leering at her or trying to find reasons to spend time with her? i wouldn't want to be with a guy who was always crushing on another girl, let alone my own mother... any of those things would get him dumped in my book... your mother is 32 years older than him, and most 50 year old women wouldn't consider a teenaged boy, too creepy and close to incest age difference. she might tolerate it as a puppy crush, but then this is supposed to be YOUR boyfriend so it would bother me a lot if i thought he was trying to make time with my own mother... so what to do would be determined by how he behaves... if he just expressed admiration for her looks, that's one thing, but if he acting like he's got a schoolboy crush on her and trying to get more opportunities to see/be with her, then i'd dump him... let him go find some other older women if he has such a fantasy, not rub it in your face with your own mother... Quote Link to comment
Siriana Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 He's horny 18 year old..... If someone told that to me.....blaaaaaaaaah...! And you asking him if he would.... that was a stupid question! I hear Mrs. Robinson song right now in my head. You're both young - I wouldn't be concerned about it. Quote Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I agree with RC. Yeah, the guy does get points for being honest, but negative points for being a bonehead and saying he'd consider sleeping with your mom. Is your mom the type to make a move on your bf? Totally agree. There is a great song by Carly Simon called "we have no secrets"' or something like that - it is about a woman and her boyfriend who decided to share their fantasies with each other and afterwards . .. .wow was she sorry they did. . . Quote Link to comment
HarleyHunny Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 All I can say is "ewwwwwww" . Quote Link to comment
Dako Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 You asked the question. Unwise. He answered it honestly. Unwise. Seems like a fair deal. Quote Link to comment
Hope75 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 You asked the question. Unwise. He answered it honestly. Unwise. Seems like a fair deal. I was just thinking the same thing. Why ask the question if you aren't prepared for any possible answer? Quote Link to comment
anggrace Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Thats really good that he's honest. Atleast you have the opportunity to know what kind of guy he really is. But...I think its pretty crapy that he said he'd have sex with your mom. VERY disrespectful. So shes hot and older.... shes your mom! That should be enough reason for him to say "no, I wouldn't". Quote Link to comment
Kalika Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I'm still a little creeped out by the fact that he actually said yes.. I mean, I wouldn't want to sleep with my boyfriend's dad, even if he was hot.. cuz HE'S HIS DAD!! But yeah, I concur: don't ask questions you can't handle the answers to, and honesty is sometimes just a tad bit overrated.. Quote Link to comment
Batya33 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Thats really good that he's honest. Atleast you have the opportunity to know what kind of guy he really is. But...I think its pretty crapy that he said he'd have sex with your mom. VERY disrespectful. So shes hot and older.... shes your mom! That should be enough reason for him to say "no, I wouldn't". That might be "honest" but it is also "tactless" - it's quite easy to be "honest" without taking someone's feelings into account. White lies exist for a reason - to avoid unnecesarily hurting the other person. Sharing fantasies often fall into that category. Quote Link to comment
Skippy Posted February 4, 2007 Share Posted February 4, 2007 MWHAHAHAHAAHAH!!! ok.. you asked a question that was plain silly. TO be honest, i have had a crush on one of my ex's mom because she was plain gorgeous! Make me laugh every time i hear the song Stacy's mom. And yes i would sleep with Rachel Hunter anytime!!! mom or not mom!!!! Quote Link to comment
valiantv Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Are you sure he wasn't joking? I mean why would he say that he'd sleep with someone else if they asked him to (whether or not she was your mom)? I'd be more worried about that than the fact it's your mom.. Quote Link to comment
caro33 Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I might have missed this, but why did you ask? Quote Link to comment
doyathink Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 Ya know...a few of my sons friends have referred to me as a MILF...creeped me out, and made him feel weird. Don't tell your mother what he said...that will make her uncomfortable and she may feel awkward around him.. Quote Link to comment
Dako Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 That's a pretty crude term all right. Quote Link to comment
Aleadragonhawk Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 I can understand how this would make you feel really uncomfortable. It was a somewhat silly question to ask, but I can also see where you were coming from - if you wanted to know how deep this attraction went. I'd be a little leery of a guy who wanted to boff my mother, or who told me about his fantasies involving her. C'mon, she's your mom. That's just disrespectful. Quote Link to comment
Northalius Posted February 5, 2007 Share Posted February 5, 2007 So, he just admitted to you that he'd actually cheat on you, if he had the chance to! How does that sit with you? Not well, I'd assume? I'd seriously consider breaking it off with this child. If he'll go as far as having sex with your mother (which, if you took the relationship far enough, could be his mother-in-law in the future...), which also doesn't sit well in my stomach even typing those words, then how much more would he have sex with any "hot" stranger off the streets? At a strip club? At a bachelor party? You need to find a better guy (not an immature boy) for yourself; he's not worth keeping. This was probably one of the biggest red flags I've seen, other than actually catching a partner in the act! Quote Link to comment
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