Having some problems with social issues

[spencerbandit88]

Hello,

 

I'm 15 and having problems. I have problems fitting in with people. I always feel alone. I can't make friends easily. I don't know how to talk with people sometimes. I feel that everyone is looking at me. I wish I knew how to get more popular with people. I talk to few people outside of school classes.

 

Anyone with advice PLEASE HELP

 

Some of the hardest things to say are the things that need to be heard by other people.

 

Thank you.

 

spencerbandit88

[LastRonin]

HI...you ask for some good advice, well to bad you got me(just kidding)

 

well I used to be just like you. spent the better part of my time alone and i did hang out with some friends from school but not may, 2 or 3 at the most. And i used to silently think "man i wish i was a lot more popular." Dont really put your self down so much. 9 times out of 10 your more well know than you think. I never made friends either and i didnt really know how to talk to people.

 

But i do have some help for you....one day I just stoped caring if people thought i was cool. When people would talk to me i would listen, but when the converstaion was over i didnt care what they thought. Then not long after that people that wouldnt talk to me just starting coming up to me to just talk...freaked me out.

 

you see when the fear is gone of looking foolish or what people think of you, you act and talk alot better. So when you talk to someone dont think of them as better then you look at them as a equal and kinda have a "I really dont care what you think of me" attitude to it. It takes a little practice but it does help.

 

WOOOH! I'm out of breath, well there you go, hope it helps some

 

LastRonin

[Jitrenda]

Hey there Spencer!

 

I understand where you are coming from. You want to know a secret? When i was in high school...i only had one best friend. She got me through high school. Believe me i wanted friends desperately.

 

But i realized in time...that i only needed one good friend and i would be okay. I had acquaintances in high school, but only one good friend.

 

And that was all i needed. I too, felt alone and felt like i didn't fit in. But you know what i found out? I was admired by everyone that knew me in high school, b/c i did what i wanted, b/c i was not afraid of what anyone else thought.

 

You would think b/c i only had one friend i would be terrified, but i just didn't care.

 

So your problem is with talking with people. Hmmm...well, just take it in baby steps. Walk up to someone, while waiting in line to purchase your lunch, or strike up a conversation with the person you are sitting next to in class.

 

Sounds easy, and believe me i know it isn't. Topics you could start off with are movies, comics, computer games, the news, the weather...just baby steps.

 

And if you think everyone is looking at you, i bet it's them thinking "boy i wish i was like him, he's so confident and doesn't care what other people think".

 

Though it may not be true, that is how they may see it as. I hope this helps! Good luck!

 

If you would like to talk further, please feel free to add me.

 

*hugs*

 

Good luck!

 

-jitrenda[/url]

[neva_black_n_white]

hey,

i cant actually say i have had that same feeling at school but at times i have felt alone, it seems to me that your a nice person are you shy at all then? or do you genuinely feel like that you dont fit in with people? why is this?

it seems to me like you said that you irregulary go out with people out of school arent there anything that you can join at your school (being 15 are you into any sports) or even out of school theres loads to do and more people to meet, id go for an extreme sport if you want to meet some unique people. i dont know.

 

do you meet a lot of people online if you dont go out that much. its always gd to meet people like that as long as its safe but you never know.

 

i like the quote at the bottom....

Some of the hardest things to say are the things that need to be heard by other people.

that is so true ... there are so many things ive wanted to say, you darent and then when you want to the moment has gone. dont regret it i learnt not to, just say how you feel it might help a little.

 

anyway hope this helps and i hope you find a larger and better group to be with just dont loose any one close to you in the mean time.

 

good look

 

~kel