2 months of NC and 2 questions

[dontknowwhattodo]

I have been on strict NC for two months so far. I don't have an urge to contact my dumper or anything, but why do I feel like crying most of the time that I am alone? I even cry when driving home on a very busy road and I cry at nights. My brain just keeps going through what he said about how he didn't see me in his future and that he needed to date others. I accept the fact that we are not going to be together, but how do I stop thinking about what he has said?

 

Please help.

[Thunderforce]

You know what worked for me ... I was like you, still crying two months after break up. Then I just went on a trip to Italy and fell madly in love with an Italian. Just get out and do something very exciting ... get out of that environment for a minute. Truly it works! May'be you won't find love but you'll find that life is beautifull, exciting if you just get out of 'normal life' and everything, place what reminds you of him. Leave it behind you and give it a symbolic meaning by going on a little trip. You earned that!

[Shannyn]

your not alone sweetie. 10 weeks on and I still cry. The night times are when it hits me mostly because thats when the ex and I wouldt speak on the phone.

 

If you feel like crying just cry.Tears are a way of telling us we still have more healing to get through.

[Ellie2006]

Hi there,

 

I know exactly what you mean!

I think it must have been around the two month mark for me as well; I cried and cried and cried anywhere and everywhere! My colleagues could not understand why my eyes looked so puffy and red all the time. (I told them I had pink eye, lol).

 

I cried at my office. I cried when I was home at night.

I cried watching TV. I cried listening to the radio.

I cried ... well, you get the picture.

I even cried on the commuter bus while people looked away uncomfortably ...

 

In hindsight, I think I must have cried more during those months than I cried in all my life!

 

BUT you know what? I think it's just part of the grieving process, as cliche as this may sound.

Breaking up evokes such a wide range of emotions within us and I do believe it is best NOT to suppress them but to allow us to fully experience these emotions. One caveat: we cannot let these emotions swallow us whole, though.

 

Anyway, this might sound too simplistic (?) in a way, but if you find yourself thinking about what your ex said when you are alone, please try to cut down on the alone time. Ask your friends for support; go out and hang out with them more. Call them. OR you can always come here and vent! We're always here to listen! Keep yourself busy.

 

Also, one thing I've found helpful is NOT to keep track of how many days has passed since I started NC: I found myself really down on those milepost days (1 month, 2 months, etc etc) but once I stopped counting ... I did start to feel a tad bit better.

 

In any event, I do hope you feel better soon.

Take care of yourself and please don't forget to eat, drink, sleep, rest, exercise, get fresh air, pamper yourself, cry, laugh, vent here, etc etc.

 

Sending a great big hug your way,

Ellie

[dontknowwhattodo]

hm..the strict NC just started two months ago but we broke up in 2004. I don't want to think of him but I cannot help. I want to be happy ever after (even though unmarried).

[Orlander]

You are probably just now beginning to truly heal. Same thing happened to me. Broke up with my ex, tried to get her back for 6 months before she finally initiated NC. Just found out two weeks ago that she is engaged and I finally feel like it's completely over.

 

 

At least you can rest asured that you are in the healing process now. Just cry and eventually you won't want to cry anymore.

 

 

 

Orlander

[JoeWho]

I know what you are mean about those words form the ex repeating in your head over and over again. I used to not be able to get them out of my head until I just started to think that she was a crazy person who had no clue what she was talking about....lol

[uppercut]

Like Thunderforce and Ellie said, the best thing you can do is spend less time alone in an environment you're bored with. Although it seems hard at first, go out with friends more and start building those relationships stronger. Plan a vacation. When you get home from it, you will realize that you're missing out on a lot of life while dwelling on a relationship that is over. This will pass, and on the other side you'll be happier than ever. Take care.