fatfaso Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 The Story... I have a huge dilemma. My girlfriend of 6.5 years broke up with me six months ago and I was devestated. I didn't follow the "no contact" rule and I never got over her. After 6 months of being apart, the ex was still of the opinion that she loved me, but couldn't be in a relationship with me because she felt that she had internal issues she had to deal with herself before she could be in a relationship with anyone. Anyway, 3 weeks ago, I met a girl at the airport. We went on a date and never looked back. We've been dating for roughly three weeks now and things are very good. So what's the problem, right? The ex found out I was dating this new girl and then told me she made a huge mistake and loved me and didn't want to lose me forever. I know what most of you are thinking... "the ex is just jealous!" But I dont know... let's recap. The Ex The ex was my first love. We started dating in high school, dated all through college, and she dated me during my first year of law school. During my second year of law school, she decided to take advantage of her grad school's study abroad program. She left and never came back. After 9 months of being away from me because she was abroad, she called me up and told me she didn't feel the same... We had several problems. I want to move back to Michigan after I graduate (its where we're both from), but she wanted to move to Chicago or New York for her career. Also, I really wanted to get married after I finished law school, but she said she felt she couldn't even get engaged until she had a permanent job. So what happened after she broke up with me? She graduated from her grad school, went back to MI, got a job working for her father, and never even applied to jobs in Chicago or New York. She's been all alone in Michigan, with no kids her age to hang out with. She's suffered through depression. She says she has no idea what she wants to do with her life or where she wants to live. However, after she found out that I'm dating a new girl, she called me up, told me she loves me, misses me, feels she made the biggest mistake of her life, wants to move to Florida to be with me until I graduate, then we can move back to Michigan together and get engaged... I broke up with her once during law school for one week, and she took me back after I realized I had made a mistake. She says that I should give her that same opportunity. The New Girl I met the new girl at the airport when I was flying back to Michigan after finishing the first semester of my last year of law school (this year). We spoke for maybe five minutes and then boarded the plane. We sat in different seats and that was that. Coincidentally, three weeks later on my return flight from Michigan back to law school, the new girl was one the same plane. I saw her in the baggage claim and we struck up a conversation together that lasted maybe 15 minutes. I thought about asking her for her name and number, but chickened out. The next day, I checked my law school e-mail account and there was an e-mail from the Dean. apparently a girl wrote to the Dean to ask for help in finding a guy who matched my description... The new girl made up some b.s. story to the dean to get him to send out the mass e-mail to the law school. apparently I had made an impression on the new girl. Anyway, I got the e-mail, responded to it, and we went on our first date. It was great. We went on several more and things kept getting better. Eventually, I wound up sleeping with the girl. The problem is, she was a virgin. Previously, she had been in a 3 year relationship with a guy, but she felt that he wasn't right, so they never slept together. Eventually, he broke up with her and she was devestated. She went on a few dates with other guys and they all ended up being crappy guys... So now this girl meets me, and I'm normal and nice and I treat her well. This girl REALLY likes me. In fact, I think she loves me (she says she does). I really like this girl, but I'm not totally over the ex. To make things even more complicated, I'm graduating in May, and the new girl will be here in Florida until she graduates from her grad school next December. After she graduates, she wants to attend law school the following fall. She said she wants to apply to law schools in Michigan, so we can stay together. She's incredibly intelligent, and I know she could probably go to some of the top law schools in the country (which are NOT in Michigan). I feel like I would be doing her a disservice by allowing her to follow me to Michigan when she could go to better schools in other parts of the country and maybe meet a nice guy while at law school. What do I do?! The new girl is great. When we're together, things are amazing. Unfortunately, when we're apart, I find myself thinking about my ex. For the past six months, I hoped every single day that we would get back together. Now, my ex wants to get back together, but I feel like I can't because: 1) she's probably just jealous 2) I took the new girl's viriginity and it would be totally to break up with her... she never did anything bad to me and doesn't deserve to get hurt. 3) the same problems that I had with the ex (wanting to live in different places, don't feel the same way about getting married) will pop up again. Please help, guys. Should I give the ex another shot? Doing so would mean breaking the new girl's heart. All of my friends say forget the ex... she hurt me and she hasn't resolved any of the problems she had that were the cause of the break-up. But I really love the ex. I've wanted to get back together since the day we broke up. Should I stay with the new girl despite the fact that I think about the ex when i'm away from the new girl? Maybe the only reason I think about the ex so much is because we spent 6.5 years together, and i've only been with the new girl for 3 weeks. Maybe if I spent more time with the new girl, i'd forget about the ex? The new girl is beautiful, intelligent, and she loves me for me. But maybe the fact that we're in different stages in our lives will cause similar problems I had with the ex (wanting to live in different locations, etc.)? I dunno... Please help me! Thanks! Quote Link to comment
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