Lansing Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 One of my biggest frustrations (i.e. pet peeve ) is girls that say for example "I will be in touch soon"... or "I will call you on Saturday night" or "I will let you know" or "I will call you tonight", etc,etc and they don't.... Why do people do this? I am curious to hear from girls that do this in particular..... Like.... Why do you say you will do something and then not follow up... Did you have no plans of following through when you said "I'll call you later" or do you really just forget?? I find it odd behaviour. If girls do it to show they are interested, I think they are better off making it clear they lack interest instead of pretending that they will call,etc... I am sure guys do it also, I just don't understand it.... Link to comment
caro33 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I think it varies for different people. And yeah, guys do it too. I think the reasons might be any of the following: - they say it to everyone as a parting gesture and don't really mean it, or give it (or you) much thought - they actively lied to get you to be nice and not make a fuss, eg they said it so that you did not call them (they wanted you to go away) - they meant it at the time but then changed their mind - maybe the ex came back, maybe they got nervous - they meant it at the time, then forgot or got too busy, and by the time they remembered the thought it best to let things slide because too much time had passed - they meant it at the time but circumstances overcame them, like amnesia, trapped on deserted islands, hospital stays I have to admit that when it happened to me I always hoped for the last option, but I think the reality was more along the lines of the first two! Link to comment
MissTee Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I used to do this all the time when I was single. I would just say that because I didn't want to see the person again but didn't want a confrontation or to hurt their feelings. If someone said "I'll call you" to me, I would assume that they weren't going to call. It's a baseless comment with no real commitment. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 It's a very cowardly maneuver. I've just started saying "yeah right" sarcastically when anyone says that to me. Link to comment
g1234567890h Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I regularly get numbers from girls I have no intention of calling. I just do it to be nice because it's really awkward to turn down a number. I don't give them mine. If I'm actually interested I'd get their email, too, but I really can't use a stalker right now. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I think people say it to be nice, even if they never mean to call that person again. Nowadays, I think people are too nice to tell people the truth about what they think of them and about them. Thus, we are left with the hope/dream that they liked us and will call. When they don't it's like a slap in the face. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Would you really prefer they said to your face: I'm really not interested. You're not my type. Why are you even talking to me? Its a gentler way of blowing a guy off. If they told it to you like this, guys would be here posting "why are girls so mean?" Link to comment
jengh Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 It's a very cowardly maneuver. I've just started saying "yeah right" sarcastically when anyone says that to me. hahah i say the same thing... only sometimes, it will be, "yeah, oookay....." I am always thoroughly surprised when someone actually does call. I no longer get my hopes up Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 It's a very cowardly maneuver. I've just started saying "yeah right" sarcastically when anyone says that to me. I dont know about anyone else, but if you said that to me, I would find you rather pessimistic and manipulative and it would TOTALLy put me off calling you all your projecting with that is that your not good enough to call. What you SHOULD be saying is "I know you will, looking forward to it doll-face"... people dont tend to be attracted to negativity I get annoyed if people say they will call and dont, but only really if its someone I am dating, not if its some random person. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Would you really prefer they said to your face: I'm really not interested. You're not my type. Why are you even talking to me? Its a gentler way of blowing a guy off. If they told it to you like this, guys would be here posting "why are girls so mean?" Believe it or not it's much kinder to be mean than it is to be nice. I've learned this the hard way. To be blunt is to be kind. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I dont know about anyone else, but if you said that to me, I would find you rather pessimistic and manipulative and it would TOTALLy put me off calling you all your projecting with that is that your not good enough to call. What you SHOULD be saying is "I know you will, looking forward to it doll-face"... people dont tend to be attracted to negativity I get annoyed if people say they will call and dont, but only really if its someone I am dating, not if its some random person. I was joking. I say that in my head everytime though, cause 99% of the time I've got the right idea. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 ^^^^^^^ You still probably let that come accross tho Believe it or not it's much kinder to be mean than it is to be nice. I've learned this the hard way. To be blunt is to be kind. ^^ I agree... I am pretty blunt with guys... if they are coming onto me Ill just ask "are you maccing on me?" "yes" "why" "" "Well, Im sorry, but its not going to happen, your cool and all, but Im just not feeling it" and although you mightnt believe it, they are always appreciative and there hasnt ever been an awkwardness Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 ^^^^^^^ You still probably let that come accross tho There's a good chance and although you mightnt believe it, they are always appreciative and there hasnt ever been an awkwardness I believe it. It's a relief to know for certain what someone thinks about you instead of being in the dark and having to wonder. Link to comment
Lansing Posted February 2, 2007 Author Share Posted February 2, 2007 I think it is better for the girl to be upfront....... Say that she isn't interested or whatever. I think many times it isn't because they want to be "nice" to the guy (since when is lying to someone nice?) I think it is because confrontation (or an explanation) makes them feel uncomfortable. Link to comment
shikashika Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 people who say this have no balls ( girls included) Its a very immature and cowardly way to do things... they want to give you hope when they have no intention of actually calling you How old are these girls that are doing this..teenagers? I guess people can be immature at all ages though, sadly Link to comment
longhaircats Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 people who say this have no balls ( girls included) Its a very immature and cowardly way to do things... they want to give you hope when they have no intention of actually calling you How old are these girls that are doing this..teenagers? I guess people can be immature at all ages though, sadly I can't agree more!! It could be age related, but I was always upfront even when I was a teenager, so it's more about personal thing I believe. You will be better off without these people anyway! Link to comment
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