Finally ended it!

[rainynight]

My fault for getting involved with her in the first place. To all others in affairs or contemplating being part of an affair, GET OUT NOW! Here is the final email I sent her today, a girl that was my first love from high school, that I met up with 2 years ago again. She was married, I am single, and at first I was able to keep it strictly on the physical level, but when she started with the "I Love Yous", I slowly got in deeper and deeper. Recently I found out from joint friend that she and her husband are planning to have another baby, something she denied to me only a few weeks back. Well it's been confirmed that she is now lying to me about it. I never thought it would end this way, as nasty as the tone of my email portrays it. I just couldn't take it anymore, when I found out that she is planning another baby, and all the while, trying to keep me hanging on the line. I had told her before that if she got pregnant by her husband, we were done. I guess she was going to wait until she was definitely pregnant and then break the news to me, and if she didn't get pregnant I guess she figured she has me hanging on the line and that I'd never learn what a lying B she really is. But then again, being a lying B comes as no surprise, it's the core element of an affair!

 

Hey XXXX,

 

I'm going to do you a big favor and free up some more time for you! But in parting I'd like to say a few brief things and make a few observations:

 

First, go back to your PHONY marriage, with your clueless husband. Oh, and you definitely picked the right guy; someone you could manipulate and use for your own benefit. He's a nice guy, too nice for you, and deserves better, as do I. I'm glad I'm not in his position!

 

You do play the part of the perfect little housewife quite well. Too bad he doesn't know who you really are or what you are all about, I do. Don't worry, our little secret is safe with me. Piece of advice sweetie, "Women who love their husbands don't **** other guys."

 

You've had your fun, will get away Scott free as always, gotten what you wanted from me, as I have from you too. So, take care and good luck with that, "being 80% happy in your marriage", thing; I hope it all works out for you in the end. Ouch, 80%, that would crush him if he knew that! I don't know what's worse, living the lie that you and I have been doing for 2 years, or living the lie that he's living and will live for the rest of his life. I'm guessing the latter is worse because being made a fool for so long, without your knowledge, not only shows a total lack of true love, it shows a total lack of respect. Love and respect go and hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. But I guess in your world you can....Alphonse

 

 

 

 

[Beec]

rainynight, you have just done something right.

 

I still think you being in an affair was wrong, and that's just not washed away, but you did something right. Please continue.

[radioheader]

wow...you are really hurt...i can tell by your anger in your message...i hope that you continue to heal and move past this. it has got to be hard when you start to emotionally connect with someone during an affair b/c you can never really have all of them...you share them. you did the right thing by ending it! affairs are horrible...you are right about that...my husband did it to me and it really hurt. good luck to ya!

[DizzyDoris]

You did the right thing by getting out now. I know it hurts at the moment but you'll get over this and meet someone who is free to offer you more than a sneaky hour snatched here and there.

 

Be greatful that you made the break before she got pregnant, that would have been a tricky situation, not knowing for sure who the father was.

 

You've said your piece to her, now be strong, walk away and dont look back, dont have anything else to do with her and just be greatful your not the one married to her.

[Northalius]

It's good you broke it off finally. But, don't act all "holier than thou" about it... since you were apart of the affair! That you know was not respectful toward her husband, as well. You're an accessory to cheating! And only broke it off because of her being pregnant! Sorry, no "morally-superior trophies" are to be given out here, sir.

 

Yes, I'm being blunt, because I despise cheaters, and those that willfully cheat with them, knowing they're with someone else. I especially despise those that cheat with married people!

 

So, to set things straight, you should come clean to her husband about what happened; he deserves to know the truth. It truly is sickening to think he'll live with such a deception in his marriage for the rest of his life. It really eats at my soul just imagining it right now.

 

Please, do me the favor, and tell him some way or another?

 

I know, some will say to save him the hurt... but I'm sorry, this is just not right to keep from him. Better to know the hurtful truth, than to live comfortably in a lie. At least, that's how I see it.

[rainynight]

It's not that she's pregnant again that I broke it off, it's that she is planning on getting pregnant again and lied about it to me. I know her game now, it was to first get pregnant and then break the news to me, knowing that I'd end the relationship at that point. And, if she didn't get pregnant, she would still be able to have her little getaways over my house, while I would've been none the wiser.

 

Get serious, why would I tell her husband?! It would ruin three lives, hers, his, and her 1 year old son. It would forever alter their lives and that to me is beyond vindictive. Yes, he is playing the part of the fool for trusting her, and I think I made that quite evident from the email I sent her. I'm not the one that said the vows with her husband, she is. Evidently she's just one of those cold, removed, people who can justify the unjustifiable in her mind. Though I do agree with you that he should know, that's up to her to make that admission, which has zero chance of happening.

[ILovePasta]

Lol. This is like a crackhead getting mad at his dealer for selling another crackhead something with more juice. It's just one of those situations that no one should be a part of. And for an outsider looking in... you just gotta laugh.

 

"Things that make you go hmmm..."

~C&C Music Factory

[ImThatGirl]

What a sad situation. Good luck.

[doyathink]

Lol. This is like a crackhead getting mad at his dealer for selling another crackhead something with more juice. It's just one of those situations that no one should be a part of. And for an outsider looking in... you just gotta laugh.

 

"Things that make you go hmmm..."

~C&C Music Factory

 

I must admit, I was thinking along the same lines here as I read this.

She was never yours to begin with....unfortunately, she has the right to get pregnant with her husband without your consent or approval.

 

You were just her boy toy.....I dont mean to sound rude, just stating the clear reality here. In the future, date a girl who isn't already taken so you dont have to face these issues.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I agree that it is not your place to tell her husband, especially if there are children involved...

 

I think the sad thing about affairs is that the partner who does not have their own partner sometimes think it is 'no harm' because they themselves aren't lying to their own partner, just having a little fun, then they get in deeper than they meant to...

 

your hurt at the thought she was planning another child just shows how deep you got in, and jealously etc. kicks in... so consider yourself lucky to have learned a hard lesson... a person willing to cheat on a partner will easily deceive you as well, and is most likely very selfish and just having her cake and eating it too...

 

so please in the future for your own sake recognize that the kind of person who is married and cheating is NOT good for even a casual fling... there is no such thing as a low stakes affair, there are always all kinds of consequences and feelings/lives that get hurt...

[Northalius]

rainynight, you must not fully agree with me, or else you'd tell him. Don't try to put it all on her now, because you're now involved in this mess, since you willfully took part in the affair! This was no accident! Thus, it's up to you to let him know now, if she won't.

 

Do not make excuses "It'll ruin his life, and his childs life." Because it's better a couple be separated if they're not compatible (evident by one cheating on the other...) with each other! Or get counseling, if they choose to work it out together. If not? There are going to be fights, and it'll not be good for the child. Better to have one stable parent to live with, rather than two parents that are incompatable (again, evident by her affair...) and don't truly love each other (at least she's not in love with him, totally...), as it should be.

 

Again, let him know. He deserves to know the truth. I know it, and you know it, as well. It's selfish to keep it from him; you should let it be his choice to do what he will after finding out.