My latest heartache

[samross]

The band got together the other night without me. I had a doctor's appt. and they wanted me to be there but I got out late. I guess the new guitar player did really well without me being there. He's very young (16) but he is an amazing guitarist. My friend told me things went really well. I guess I'm kinda down because I feel like an old race horse. I know they want to have someone if I can't make it but he brought in some songs he had written and I know my ex will probably write lyrics for him (which she has done with me for some time now). Sort of feel like they're getting ready to put me out to pasture (I know that isn't how they feel but I do - it's just me). I know I shouldn't worry but I'm kinda down. My ex and I are still talking, and I am hoping for the best but preparing myself for the worst. All I can do is all I can do. They all agree that the new guy and me bring the band to a whole new level, it's just hard to step aside when they've always looked to me for the music. I told my friend that I hoped they missed me and he said they really did. I'm too senstive. I'm a Pisces. Surtprise, I'm just letting off some steam and looking for some encouragement today...

[Ellie2006]

Samross, hi. I hope the doctor's appointment went well?

I understand how one can feel a bit decentered when a grup dynamic shifts. Nonetheless, you ARE a valued member of your band and what's good for the band is ultimately good for the members of the band too, wouldn't you say?!

 

Take care of yourself and keep your chin up!

 

Hugs,

Ellie

[samross]

Ellie:

 

You bring up a very good point. I found out at the doctor's that I won't have to have surgery which goes to show how our hearts can get us so far off track that we miss what's really important.

 

You're also right about what's good for the band. 90% of the music was written by me so far and I will probably continue to write most of the music. I don't believe I have an ego problem it's just getting used to change. Just like you said about the group dynamic. I've been trying to mentor this young person and it is going great. The band can tell you that I'm not a tyrant or a dictator, it's just people like to feel like there wanted. I fight insecurity which is a lot of my trouble. Pisces again...